Sense of Impending Doom

[Birdy77]

Hello everyone.

I have been really struggling today, and I thought writing here might help.

What I am about to describe may sound weird, but it is a true feeling for me. I wondered if anyone else reading has experience of it?

Every now and then, I get this terrible sense of impending doom.

Like, everything, everything, is about to go horribly wrong.

I have realised that I have been having these feelings semi-frequently for the last few years.

A few years ago I experienced an intense trauma in my life, and I'm wondering now if there are triggers, like little, tiny things, that possibly happened before the trauma, that I am not necessarily conscious of, that again happen now, in my life, and set me off on this spiral of doom.

This morning, the feeling of impending doom had me thinking that the police were likely to turn up at my door and take me to prison.

My life is good.

I am safe.

In my house.

Consistently not committing crimes.

And yet ... occasionally this feeling that the world is conspiring against me and everything good is about to implode just takes over.

I understand that it's irrational, but there's something that sends me in a spiral, and anything simple can bring me back up that spiral as well, like a text from a friend, or something tiny like that. It brings me back to safety.

I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else feels this way. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I thought I might feel some relief voicing this in a safe space.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything, just kind of wanted a place to talk about it, not just for me but for anyone who experiences this.

I feel so vulnerable.

I mentioned something similar to my dad once and he said it's because I have a guilty conscience.

🌻birdy

[Ggrand]

Good Morning lovely Birdy,

Im just calling in to check on you..Please dear friend you have nothing to be embarrassed about..You were/are scared and that’s okay, (I know how that feels)..and it’s a horrid feeling.

I will be around the forums most of the weekend, If it’s okay I would like to sit with out back and have a cuppa while we’re sitting under a tree watching the chookys run around and play..

I hope your day is good Birdy, please sweety remember to breathe...Here for you if you want to talk......

sending you some Love, Hugs, 💜🤗...ohh and a big bunch of beeewutiful Sunflowers for your garden....and on your outdoor setting...

Lovely Birdy, Please be very gentle and kind to yourself...

Love.. 💕 Grandy....

[quirkywords]

birdy

I just want to add my kind thoughts to the others.

i have incredibly vivid dreams that are dark and full of some so much so that when I wake up I still have this feeling of impending doom, even though as am awake.

I am glad you have been so honest and I am sure many will relate to you as I have.

be kind to yourself,

Quirky

[startingnew]

Hello lovely Birdy

you are sounding rather overwhelmed. please take a minute to remind yourself that things will be ok but that it is more than ok to have bad days. those are the days you need to look after yourself abit more and do the things that bring you the most comfort like snuggling under the doona for a little while, laying on the couch with your Mrs watching a favourite movie, or going for a walk out in the fresh air.

There is nothing to be embarrassed about, its ok to not be ok. Here for you as well as your many friends if you need to talk about anything or just to be with you virtually to feel less alone

sending many gentle hugs and some butterflies to you

xoxoxoxox

[White_Rose]

Hello Birdy

Just caught up with your thread again. How is the weekend going? When we know there is a difficult time coming up it gives us an opportunity to prepare, not just what we are going to say or do, but to recognise the feelings that have arisen or you feel are going to come up. Giving yourself a some ways to manage and make the weekend go more easily. No always easy but maybe eased a little.

Last Wednesday was R U OK day. My daughter wrote on her FB page this comment below.

Our house is a safe zone. Kettle can be on in minutes, or if you prefer vodka/whisky/wine, it’s easily sorted. We will always do our best to be available and you are always welcome! Nobody is alone, there’s always someone willing to listen, go for a walk (or a run! Maybe not a run) with you, cook you a meal, watch a movie with you, or do whatever you like.

#Its OK Not To Be OK

I was touched by her insight and desire to help anyone who wanted to talk. In that vein, BB is a safe place and we can always put the on the virtual kettle and settle down to watch a film. Remember to sit with us and rest. One thing I have learned on my journey through depression is, there is an end to pain and turmoil. When you go through a bad patch hold to the knowledge that you will come out the other end. Maybe a bit sore and sad but with joy that you have arrived safely.

If you feel able I hope you will let us know how the weekend went. I like to feel we can share the joys and triumphs as well as the down times.

Mary

[Peppermintbach]

He beautiful birdy,

I’m simply checking in to say hello and to say that you are loved and cared for here by so many...

I hope you’re taking your time with things and being extra gentle to yourself during this tumultuous weekend...

Sitting with you quietly...not expecting anything, not requesting anything, not demanding anything...just sitting here peacefully with you...

Love and blessings,

Pepper xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello everyone 😊

Each of your caring and incredibly kind messages have made me feel so supported and cared for. I can't thank you enough.

I just wanted to write a short post here to let you know that although feeling a but worse for wear and depleted, I have survived the weekend.

I will come back some time to maybe share what helped my head to not explode into a thousand pieces, although it came pretty close a few times.

Thank you Pepper for sitting and being the friend that you are to me, your presence comforted me, calmed my spirit. Your amazingly beautiful words to me brought tears to my eyes and lifted me. Thank you.

Paul, we are all stronger than we think, it's true. I did get through, with a little help, well a lot of help, from my friends (you all here).

Grandy, your depiction of sitting outside was perfect and I am going to do just that today, you are welcome to join me and anyone else too.

Quirky, thank you for your understanding, caring and kindness, you know that feeling and it's frightening.

SN, those things you mentioned, to make me feel better, I was not able to do them over the weekend, but now that it is over, I will be. Thanks for your thoughtful suggestions and care.

Mary, your daughter sounds like a gentle and wise woman, what a beautiful post she wrote. I felt enveloped in gentle care when I read your message. BB does feel like a virtual safety hub, thank you for your caring and inviting me to rest for a while with you all.

You all have lifted my burdens by being here.

Today, I have nothing I have to do. Nowhere I have to be. No demands or pressures and the intensely difficult weekend is over.

It is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, the smell of lemon blossom is so sweet and strong where i sit near a lemon tree. Chooks scratching around. Doggies laying in the sun chewing sticks they've collected.

I am brewing fresh coffee and will sit here and thank the universe that I have you beautiful people to hold my hand through the dark times.

Love and light to everyone

🌻birdy

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful Birdy,

I am quite literally drinking a cup of coffee as I type.

You were brewing coffee, I’m drinking coffee...all pretty fitting 🙂

I think we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that the worst, for now, is over for you...

I feel a relaxing day with few demands and obligations is probably just what your weary spirit needs...

You have a beautiful ability to appreciate the world around you. The way that you cherish and describe the smells and sights around you is calming...your chooks and doggies sound gorgeous. I have a huge soft spot for dogs 🙂

Seriously, no need to thank me. All I did was pull up a few cushions and sat by your side...it’s a pretty low skill talent of mine 😉

Sending you much love and the warmest blessings ever...

Love,

Pepper xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello everyone,

I just thought I'd put some of my thoughts down about my horrendous feelings of impending doom that went wild last week.

Just to sort of unpack it a bit for myself, and maybe help someone else somehow, I'm not sure how, but I thought it might be worth putting it out there.

As a bit of recent background: I have ongoing hassles with family, some simply irritating and anger-inducing, some deeply traumatic, and some in-between.

The irritating and anger-inducing ones have been at the fore the last few weeks.

I had a very difficult weekend approaching (last weekend) which was causing major stress.

The sense I had, of impending doom, had absolutely nothing to do with my upcoming difficult weekend.

In this way, I think Croix's insight about current taxing issues is 100% spot on in that I was already feeling frazzled and on edge and tense. My mind was racing at a million miles, which is never good.

Then, early last week, a couple of tiny, little things happened, that under normal circumstances wouldn't be a problem.

And, this could sound strange, but I'm wondering if anyone else has ever felt triggered by the weather?

Spring all of a sudden arrived: it was balmy and lovely.

This kind of weather was exactly what it was like when I experienced a trauma several years ago that turned my entire life upside down.

So, all up:

• I was tense and stressed about the upcoming weekend, so my reserves of "calm" were running low;

• A couple of tiny, but slightly worrying things happened in a row;

• The weather was similar to a prior traumatic time.

Once I survived the weekend, the sense of impending doom had not disappeared, but on Sunday evening, one of those "tiny, worrying" situations were resolved, and as soon as that sorted itself out: the impending doom dissolved.

I just thought I'd write this out ... just to help me realise it was a mix of ongoing low-level hassles, upcoming shortlived intense stress, and triggers with a couple of tiny worries and the hot weather.

Sorry that was probably boring and I don't want to waste anyone's time, but I just thought it might help someone.

Thanks for listening.

I want this thread for anybody at all to talk about their feelings of impending doom.

Feel free to unpack your feelings, vent or whatever.

I don't want this just to be about me.

Thanks everyone.

🌻birdy

[startingnew]

Hello sweet Birdy

I dont think your post was boring, it makes alot of sense and is actually quite interesting to read. i dont really have anything to add to what youve said. You meantioned being triggerred by the weather, and i can say that i have. its not the 'winter blues' for me however when i know a storm is approaching or is forecast in the coming days my nerves go all haywire and i too get all frazzled, and jumbled up. i tend to actually go abit crazy, its really odd...

Do you think the weather may have trigerred you abit into having those feelings of impending doom? im glad those feelings have eased now though, its amazing what abit of reduced stress can do cant it.

Hugs for you, please know even when im not sure on what to say, you still have my support xoxoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful birdy (waves to all),

As always, being the deeply caring and generous person you are, you want to share this space with everyone. I love your generous and kind nature...that is reflected in so many of your posts...

I agree with Butterfly Wings that I don’t think you’re “boring” anyone either. We all care very deeply about you and want you to have a space to use your voice and be heard and supported...

Plus it seems quite a lot of people can relate to this thread so, if anything, I feel there are many people who would be grateful and appreciative that you shared your thoughts 🙂

I’m very relieved that the sense of impending doom has dissipated...you can breathe a little easier again, my lovely friend...

I feel you have pretty much covered it all yourself. As you said, “it was a mix of ongoing low-level hassles, upcoming shortlived intense stress, and triggers with a couple of tiny worries and the hot weather.”

I can see how the weather would have had quite an impact on you. To answer your question, personally, I’m not triggered by the weather. It can exacerbate a mood for me but it’s not really a trigger for me...sorry, that probably wasn’t very helpful...

I hope purging some of those thoughts was cathartic for you...you have a great level of self awareness and personal insight, which are beautiful qualities...

Thank you so much for sharing 🙂

Love,

Pepper xoxox