Scared of "trivial, everyday" things

[Moonstruck]

Does anyone else share this irrational, stupid, inconvenient anxiety? It doesn't happen all the time but when it does I cannot explain it or know what to do, to get rid of it. It will sound comical, laughable when I tell you but that's OK...it sounds funny to me also. I will start by saying there are certain situations I am active in, at which I exel, where the majority of folk would be terrified. I am brilliant there...and yet scared of this "little stuff" .

For months I was frightened of going to a different petrol station nearby. Prices went sky high at most places in my town, and this one was cheaper, popular, accessible and an obvious choice and for months I put off going there...because I was scared of it. Which bowser should I pull up at? Which buttons do I push to key in the dollars I want?. What if there is a big queue?...so I eventually had to ask a neighbour (who is familiar with anxiety problems) to go with me, just to sit beside me and quietly tell me what to do. Otherwise I would never have "mastered the petrol station"!

Yesterday i bought a new vacuum cleaner. It was a good price, I am pleased with it, I want to use it asap and need to use it. I look forward to using it. I am scared to get it out of the box. What if I can't understand the instructions in the manual? It's different from my last one. see how stupid it sounds? I am scared of my vacuum cleaner!!!!

and yet if you could see what I achieved just recently in a specialised field...you would be amazed at my competency and confidence!!!

WHY am I scared of these trivial everyday things? God knows how long it will take for me to begin assembling that vacuum cleaner which I know, logically, I am intelligent enough to figure out!! So why am I procrastinating about it?

What is wrong with me? Who could help me? Any suggestions or thoughts would be very welcome......have a nice day..... Moonstruck.

[Moonstruck]

Thanks for your input here Deliver. Dental fear is very common...I have it, mostly due to the traumas with teeth I went thru as a child, when dental care wasn't as advanced as it is now...and was always very very painful. I make sure the dentist knows I have this fear and won't go back to one who doesn't take extra care to be gentle.

Computer stuffups cause me mega stress too....and I also can relate to the "going to work next day" feeling. So we are not as "alone" in this as we thought. You sound as if you are a real "procrastinator"...which I am too...does anyone have the magic answer to stop procrastinating??

If so, Deliver and I need to know...it's holding us back from our own brilliant capabilities!!! I guess you have never jumped out of a plane?? Me either. With our procrastinating, we'd be up there all day!!

In case anyone is interested....I have used the new vacuum cleaner...it knows what it's doing, better than I do!

Also got petrol at the station I was frightened of for ages yesterday....what a breeze!! Easy-peasey!

[Birdy77]

Dear Moon and everyone,

I am not sure what happened, I thought I had replied here ages ago, but it's not here now so ... sorry for that, because Moon, your gentle reply brought tears to my eyes and the very next day I held your words close whilst I bravely opened up the mortgage account. Guess how much interest I had been charged? Zero dollars! No dollars whatsoever! I must have calculated wrongly. Such a relief! But mostly it was so comforting to read your words and imagine you sitting with me. Thank you Moon. I am not yet ready for the other document. Will you sit with me again?

I liked what Dools said above about being more open about our vulnerabilities and realising that others have theirs too. I think it's a bit of a key into our shared humanness (the word is probably humanity, but my word captures what I want more clearly for me). I read something recently about the idea that we can't reach courage except through vulnerability, which makes a lot of sense in this context.

Deliver, I am the Queen of Procrastination, so I completely understand. I remember putting off uni assignments because I hadn't read every single piece of research ever written on any given subject, so I obviously couldn't start the assignment until I had done so. For a measly 1000 word essay I sometimes had read 30 scholarly articles and taken an arch lever file full of notes. So silly.

I think procrastination, for me, comes from my ingrained sense of fear of being criticised, thanks to an overly critical father who bred this unhealthy perfectionism in my brain as a little girl. I am learning to assure that little girl that we can do things imperfectly and that's ok.

John Steinbeck said " and now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."

🌻birdy

[Moonstruck]

Yes Birdy of course I will sit with you again, to read the next document....that is a great achievement reading the first mortgage one...and even a feeling of "relief" for you after you had done so!! well done you!!

No, that's not a little thing...that's a big thing, being able to achieve "relief" not everyone can do it.

Let me know when you want to open the next one...I'll be right there!

[Moonstruck]

Yes I've got another one. Along with the new vacuum cleaner, the fear of which prompted me to begin this thread...(I have mastered that one) I also got a steam mop ( had been having trouble cleaning tiles in bathroom etc and it was an excellent sale price).

After weeks of sitting in its box...I was game enough to read the manual to assemble it. To my horror, a tiny screw was included and I had to screw two bits together...(don't have the right size screwdriver, naturally). I bundled it into the car, took it over to a neighbour who did it for me.....

now its assembled, hopefully correctly...and sitting there waiting for me to use it....aargh! the girl in the shop demonstrated one.."just pop some water in, turn it on and away you go"....smooth as silk! It made a noise as the steam came out...looked far too complicated and dangerous to me.

Never had one before...scared of my steam mop! Any advice....??

[Birdy77]

Dear Moon,

Well done taking it over to the neighbour. Job done.

How about we put some water in that thing together, it's ok, there should be a little plastic jug with a narrow spout so the water will not spill too much. Then we'll plug it in and wait a few minutes for it to heat up. It will make a yucky noise, but that's ok because I've put on some nice calm music for us to mop to. Once the steam is coming out, let's just use that baby in the bathroom.

It will be ok.

Ready?

[Moonstruck]

It's a long time since I wrote about being scared of the steam mop. Now I like it and the result it gives....heres my next one...

I have to ring my Computer Support team to talk me through a simple operation. (well I hope it's simple, that's why I'm scared I guess...scared of the unknown. I am not really I.T. smart). I have the number, know the times they are open, have already got a I.D. number to quote with the task I need listed.....and I can call whenever I like.....sounds easy hey? Nothing to be scared of? Then why am I?

well, let's see what's the worst that could happen: the support person could be rude and nasty to me (unlikely) I might not explain what I need properly.....(that's their job to help me isn't it?) they might laugh at me when they find out how old my computer is....(so what??)......I might be bothering them at a busy time (that's Their problem.) I am trying to remember I am a client, an owner of their product, they want me to call, they gave me their number and my customer I.D to call..

.someone Please tell me why I am scared of trivial stuff like this? I really need, (not joking here)..I really really need to conquer this...or is it a part of Anxiety I am going to suffer from forever for the rest of my life??? Please help here???

[Moonstruck]

I seem to have wasted everyone's time but appreciate the chance to vent here...sorry...I did ring them and the girl, based in Sydney was lovely, very patient and helpful...I could understand everything she said...and the outcome seems to have been successful.

So.....I managed. It took ages and I could feel myself getting a bit anxious as time went on so much.......but I know this sort of thing will happen again in the future.

with me being scared of such everyday things that others don't give a toss about...they just do it!! I want to eradicate this fear from my life completely.....when there are so many big big things to "fear" in this world today, this must mean I am a weak cry-baby...... are others scared of little everyday things...or just me?

[aeliapulcheria]

I'm a little late to the party, and I unfortunately don't have the answers for you Moon, but I thought I'd let you know some of the little things I fear too so you're not alone.

I have the frustrating, stupid problem that I fear the everyday things, but have no issues with issues I should actually worry about, if I was a normal person. Do a speech or debate? Hardly any nerves at all. Act on stage? I'm fine (if I'm prepared). Job interviews are fine for me. It's like I'm ok when I'm playing a "role" I guess.

Things I am terrified of:

- Going to work (every single day) and looking stupid somehow

- Greeting people or even talking to people I know... so I stay at home a lot in my spare time

- Talking on the phone. Massive problem for me in my current job

- Going to the same stores near my house and becoming a 'regular' i.e. I'll have to make familiar conversation with the people that work there every time I go in, so I stop going to those places after a while

- Hanging out with my friends and saying the "wrong" thing in my mind. I can think about this stuff for days afterward

- Simple tasks like ringing up the bank to close my accounts, I put them off forever (at least 5 years now)

I'm currently sitting at my work desk, heart racing for no apparent reason at all. So you're not a weak cry-baby, there must be heaps of us out there feeling the same, putting on a brave face and just struggling through it all!

[Elizabeth CP]

I've only just found this thread. I struggle asking for help. What if the person is busy, They might think I'm pressuring them, They'll think I'm stupid, They might refuse & the I'll feel worse. When my husband was well & my children at home I could get them to help with things I need. Now my children are married so I don't want to be a nuisance & disturb them when they are busy! My husband is blind 7 has other serious health issues so I can't rely on him. I need some work done by the plumber. He was supposed to get some parts fabricated before coming back but now I'm scared to ring him to check because I don't want to be a nuisance.

On monday my washing machine wasn't working. I ended up flooding the laundry trying to get the cloths out of the full machine (front loader) it just kept filling & then overflowing but not washing. I went out fpor several hours to calm down before returning. I tried reading the whole instruction manual to find out what to do. I kind of ot it working but I'm unsure. I'm dreading the next time I have to wash in case it happens again but I can't face ringing a repair person. Either I'll look stupid for ringing when I didn't need to or I'll find out it can't be repaired so I've wasted his time. We have a gardener funded by my husband's NDIS plan but I feel anxious about asking him to come thinking he'll think I'mm ripping off the system or I'mm useless or something.

My brother offered to take me out on his boat but I'm too scared to ring And ask him when we are going because he might think I'm being pushy!!

Anything new with technology I struggle with. Someone gave my husband an I phone to try bt I don't know how to use it & I'm really stressed about needing to help my husband learn to use it It reminds me of everything I've ever failed in trying to do. Of course any successes are irrelevant I only remember the failures!!!!

[Moonstruck]

Your story really resonates with me Elizabeth. I know exactly how you feel. I could almost have written that myself.....you described me very well. I can elaborate further but exhausted after a long trip away........but gee, I certainly do understand exactly what you mean in this situation......

Nice when someone understands , I always think......take care...Moonstruck