Scared of "trivial, everyday" things

[Moonstruck]

Does anyone else share this irrational, stupid, inconvenient anxiety? It doesn't happen all the time but when it does I cannot explain it or know what to do, to get rid of it. It will sound comical, laughable when I tell you but that's OK...it sounds funny to me also. I will start by saying there are certain situations I am active in, at which I exel, where the majority of folk would be terrified. I am brilliant there...and yet scared of this "little stuff" .

For months I was frightened of going to a different petrol station nearby. Prices went sky high at most places in my town, and this one was cheaper, popular, accessible and an obvious choice and for months I put off going there...because I was scared of it. Which bowser should I pull up at? Which buttons do I push to key in the dollars I want?. What if there is a big queue?...so I eventually had to ask a neighbour (who is familiar with anxiety problems) to go with me, just to sit beside me and quietly tell me what to do. Otherwise I would never have "mastered the petrol station"!

Yesterday i bought a new vacuum cleaner. It was a good price, I am pleased with it, I want to use it asap and need to use it. I look forward to using it. I am scared to get it out of the box. What if I can't understand the instructions in the manual? It's different from my last one. see how stupid it sounds? I am scared of my vacuum cleaner!!!!

and yet if you could see what I achieved just recently in a specialised field...you would be amazed at my competency and confidence!!!

WHY am I scared of these trivial everyday things? God knows how long it will take for me to begin assembling that vacuum cleaner which I know, logically, I am intelligent enough to figure out!! So why am I procrastinating about it?

What is wrong with me? Who could help me? Any suggestions or thoughts would be very welcome......have a nice day..... Moonstruck.

[Moonstruck]

Ok here's another one then...one that just about everyone I know, young and old, seem to breeze through without a care in the world...and that is posting something on my Facebook page.

I have some lovely photos and words to go with them of family, events etc....and I very very rarely put them on...I'm scared. What if I choose the wrong words"? or the photos reproduce a bit imperfect, or is it a stupid thing to put on there, or if I gather up the courage...why doesn't anyone look at my page? If they do, why don't they "like" what I put on there?

Don't any of the folk on my Friends list ever bother to look at my page? Why don't they say something then?

I have no problem in commenting or answering others, having funny banter back and forth etc....and people seem to respond then.......but I am not brave enough to put anything of my own up there. I want to..I want to this minute actually, but oh the disappointment if hardly anyone sees it, or comments, or even likes.....aren't my posts interesting enough?

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I guess a lot depends on why you wish to post on Facebook. As you say yourself you are quite successful at talk, even banter, on other people's pages.

If you put up pages and text with the need to have them given signs of approval then I suspect that like very many you will be disappointed. Facebook is not an accurate reflection of anything. People only put up the very best they can, disregarding the pile of more true to life images they have, count computer clicks called 'likes' as if they actually meant people liked them, and generally live in a restricted and artificial world.

Sometimes in Real Life™ I will come across a photo that is either particularly striking or beautiful, or is meaningful to someone else. Then I'll show it to the person concerned and they will appreciate it. Perhaps if you were to take the same tactic and let people know there is something on your page that will probably be significant to them you will end up with a more real -and useful - experience.

Remember it is the roar of the greasepaint and smell of the crowd.

Croix

[quirkywords]

Moon

i think many people feel cautious about sharing a photo on Facebook.

croix has given a very comprehensive reply .

You could just put one photo that you like and see how that goes.

I suppose I tend to share pages more that I find interesting or funny rather than personal photos.

Most of my children’s generation are on Instagram which I am not . That scares me as I have no idea how it works. I am still coping with Facebook.

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

Can someone tell me where I go for help with this?

This meaningless, unnecessary fear...major one is the phone. Not close friends as you would imagine...but stores, shopping malls, business places where I plan to SPEND MONEY...a customer, a client......there is every possibility they will be super polite wanting my money..so WHY am I scared to ring?

A close relative has birthday in January, lives in another city. want to get Gift Card from a favourite store of theirs. Can't find Gift Card section on store's website....Shopping Mall where they are located does have Gift Card service for them to spend money in whatever store they like.

Which do I ring first....the store, or the shopping Mall? They will probably be too busy today..if they post the card to me, will it get here in time for me to place in a greeting card and post back to my relative in time for their January birthday?

Should I get the store or mall to post it direct to them? Not the same personal touch. what do I do?

What is the best time to ring? and on and on and on. Do they use PayPal or do I give them my Visa number?

Am I alone in having these whirlpools of thought and deliberation. What am I afraid of? I have done nothing wrong? I am a customer....I should be full of confidence, I am giving THEM my money.....where do I find help for this ridiculous aspect of myself? (May I add I am accomplished in another activity that would terrify most people. certainly not an "everyday trivial thing" )

So WHY am I scared of "everyday trivial things"??

[Hanna3]

Hi Moon, I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. Is it a fear of the phone or a fear of going into the store? Both?

I've only bought gift cards in the store and posted them to people. So I'm not much help there. But I did want to say don't stress too much, this time of year can make these things seem enormous. I'm sorry you're feeling like this, I hope someone can come on and post something that will help you. Just know that I am sorry you're distressed and to go easy on yourself. I hope someone else can be of more help I just wanted to let you know I was here. Best wishes take care.

[Croix]

Dear Moon

I would ring the store in question, and do so when the store opens, eg 8.30 or 9.00 am depending, so they do not have a long waiting queue on the phone. Ask if they have their gift cards in stock. That way you will know if the have the cards available,

Then I'd travel in to the store with an envelope and birthday card made out in advance, purchase the gift card, and post it all off straight away.

Quick and only one simple call to make. It might be hard to make that call, but knowing you I'm certain you can do it. Putting on the "Film Star Moon" character would work (you can ask if they are used to paparazzi if you like:)

As an alternative Australia Post will sell you a gift card over the counter -Visa, MasterCard or similar for any amount which can be used anywhere an ordinary debit card is accepted (i.e. everywhere)

I hope this helps

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Thanks Croix and Hanna....I couldn't go into the store in person or I would have.

It's in a different city, the same as the relative the gift card was intended for.

I did make the phone calls of course....had to eventually...The huge shopping centre the store is in, does do Gift Cards to be used in any of their outlets....but the recipient picks it up at the service centre....after the Customer Service Dept has emailed it to you..then you email it to the recipient etc.... (the individual store doesn't have their own separate card)....the recipient is a little child which rather takes the fun away of getting a greeting card with nothing in it! which is why I tried to get something "tangible" to send.......

may just take a chance on the Postman and put the cash in the card and be done with it!! Or perhaps what Croix suggested..I did not know Australia Post did that...sell you a debit card over the counter...I will look into that..thanks.

(Croix....if I could have gone in there in person, yes, naturally I would have been perfectly comfortable with that and no need for anxiety....because I'd be "on")

Next "ordinary thing I am terrified of" is making plane bookings to see my family...in 2 different cities.. spending time with one, then flying onto the other...simple hey? Nice hey, to be seeing my kids..You'd think so wouldn't you?

Instead my head is a confused whirl....times, bookings, what clothes to take, how many days to stay with each, will I be able to get through it without showing my anxiety/panic, I get so very tired so quickly these days...I will be exhausted. what if I can't keep up with what they may have planned for me? It all seems so scary I am tempted to just "stay home".

I am pathetic..hopeless...it's embarrassing.

[quirkywords]

moon, not pathetic just honest.

i share this but with coaches and each time I plan trip see my boys and cousins can be for several days I worry and have to plan the time. last time as I get sick on bus I decided to go half way by bus and half way by train. I had not done this before and I worried I would get wrong train . I worry which child to stay with, I know they will laugh at the size of my bag.

feel such a hermiot at turns.

dont use planes but once a year I go interstate and this year I found out my flight was cancelled. I cried and felt silly as i was put on next flight.

so prepare as much as you can, plan plan, write down everything that scares you then have a plan as how you will cope .

Flying alone can be a hassle but you have done it before and you will be rewarded by seeing your lovely grandchildren and children.

quirky

[Hanna3]

Hi Moon,

I have a friend who regularly sends cash via ordinary post inside a greeting card - maybe she's been lucky but she's never had it stolen. So maybe that's an option for you?

You are definitely not worthless or hopeless! I understand being overwhelmed by booking plane flights, what to take etc etc etc.

What I do is make a list. Just write down what you need to do one point at a time. Then just do it in careful stages. Make a plane booking? Make the booking, tick it off and take a break. Then later go back and do the next thing, then take a break again. Understand you need to pace yourself carefully. I am like that too. This is the way I get through.

Don't beat yourself up you will be OK. Do the card/gift card. Then take a break. Make a list. Do one step at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and take rest/stress breaks.

Really feel for you but you will be OK just go easy on yourself and take it one step at a time. Baby steps. Little by little you'll get there.

Hope Croix might come by with some more ideas for you. Thinking of you mate.

[Moonstruck]

Thank you people......I read something just before along these lines "it is in facing the things and experiences we fear that holds our salvation.....if we run away from the fearful situation, no healing can happen"

perhaps if we continue to "run away or avoid" the fearful situations..our anxiety disorder gets worse, instead of better. And the list of fearful situations grows longer and longer until we almost never leave the house.