Scared of "trivial, everyday" things

[Moonstruck]

Does anyone else share this irrational, stupid, inconvenient anxiety? It doesn't happen all the time but when it does I cannot explain it or know what to do, to get rid of it. It will sound comical, laughable when I tell you but that's OK...it sounds funny to me also. I will start by saying there are certain situations I am active in, at which I exel, where the majority of folk would be terrified. I am brilliant there...and yet scared of this "little stuff" .

For months I was frightened of going to a different petrol station nearby. Prices went sky high at most places in my town, and this one was cheaper, popular, accessible and an obvious choice and for months I put off going there...because I was scared of it. Which bowser should I pull up at? Which buttons do I push to key in the dollars I want?. What if there is a big queue?...so I eventually had to ask a neighbour (who is familiar with anxiety problems) to go with me, just to sit beside me and quietly tell me what to do. Otherwise I would never have "mastered the petrol station"!

Yesterday i bought a new vacuum cleaner. It was a good price, I am pleased with it, I want to use it asap and need to use it. I look forward to using it. I am scared to get it out of the box. What if I can't understand the instructions in the manual? It's different from my last one. see how stupid it sounds? I am scared of my vacuum cleaner!!!!

and yet if you could see what I achieved just recently in a specialised field...you would be amazed at my competency and confidence!!!

WHY am I scared of these trivial everyday things? God knows how long it will take for me to begin assembling that vacuum cleaner which I know, logically, I am intelligent enough to figure out!! So why am I procrastinating about it?

What is wrong with me? Who could help me? Any suggestions or thoughts would be very welcome......have a nice day..... Moonstruck.

[Doolhof]

Hey Moonstruck,

You have just described how I feel at times but I have never put it down to anxiety! Before I forget, can your neighbour help you with your vacuum cleaner? Invite them in for a coffee and a vacuum cleaner assembly session.

I have an appointment somewhere new. My mind is telling me, what if I can't find the place? Which door do I need to go in? Who is going to be in the waiting room? What chair do I sit on while I am waiting? Should I look in a magazine or just sit here? How to I approach the specialist? What do I call them?

I go to the supermarket. Where should I park? Is this trolley going to roll properly for me? What if I can't find what I am looking for? How do I ask a staff member to help me locate something? What if my groceries fall off the check out counter? What happens if I forget my pin number?

Why do our brains take us on such ridiculous journeys? Why to do we worry about all this small stuff? What is it saying about ourselves?

Maybe for me it is more due to a lack of self esteem and confidence regarding doing something different and new. Maybe it is a sense of uncertainty and a feeling of not being in control.

Who knows. I agree with you though Moonstruck it can be crazy getting so worked up about the small things in life.

All the best with the vacuum cleaner!

Cheers from Dools

[Moonstruck]

Thank you Mrs D.....yes I can relate to your own fears too...I am not quite that frightened of the supermarket I must say..but I totally get the new waiting room, where to sit, which door to go in....I had to go to a different medical place recently too...and it helped to look at the other patients and wonder to myself " I bet some, or even quite a few of you are unsure of yourselves too."

Knowing how widespread "anxiety" is in our modern world (in my mother and grandma's day they called it "nerves").....more folk than we realise are frightened and feeling shaky behind their outwardly confident, well dressed and groomed appearances. We would probably be surprised just who is scared of all this stuff too...well I hope we are not alone anyway! take care....Moon S

[Birdy77]

Hello Moon and Dools,

I can totally relate to everything you both said.

Dools I get nervous about the tokens in the trolleys because the other day I went to put my trolley back, I had a big (deep) trolley, and some nong before me had put a shallow trolley in the deep trolley area, so my deep trolley wouldn't nestle into the shallow trolley in front, so the chain for the token thing wouldn't reach, and I couldn't get my token back! Catastrophe! Some kind stranger helped by putting their token in the shallow trolley and moving it for me, otherwise I might still be there.

Moon I was telling you, I can't bear to open up my internet banking and see how much the bank has charged me in interest because I let the balance in my mortgage offset account go below a certain level. It will be a matter of very little $$ but I just cannot bring myself to do it. I tried the other day, I had my fingers covering my eyes as the website loaded. The page was down for maintenance ... I was so relieved. So I still haven't tried again ...

I have a document, that I paid for, which will help me save literally thousands of dollars in tax, and I can't open it. I will force myself to when it comes to doing my tax, but it would help for me to open it and print it out now. I can't.

So annoying.

🌻birdy

[Moonstruck]

Dearest Birdy...next time you are sitting at the keyboard, scared to open the tax and banking documents...feel me right there next to you..speaking calmly and taking you through the steps one by one until it's all sitting there, on the screen, quite harmless, it can't hurt you, it's right there, waiting to give you the information you want to read....isn't that great!! right there at your fingertips....don't worry, I'll be right there with you. We'll read the documents together...let me know when you're ready..... x

[quirkywords]

moon,

what a great thread.

Where do I start this is just a small of my long list.

Dont like talking on the phone

put off tax so it is always late and I get extra time as I have an accountant

build up worrying about things so something silly like asking a shop to put up a poster for a charity makes me leave it till last minute

i am scared of hairdressers and often come out with a cut I don’t like

ok that’s a start. nothing wrong with you at all.

I taughtat a school where there two photocopiers and people would line up rather than use the other one!!

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

Oh goodness...it's quite enlightening to see the other things people are "afraid" of. I wonder what instilled this into our psyches...was it the generation perhaps...inherited from our parents/grandparents ...I thought the thread would be a waste of space and boring to others.

Hey, after posting all my fears yesterday and receiving some nice replies here and on my own thread...I did actually assemble the new cleaner...haven't used it yet..but hey...baby steps??

Perhaps it was the simple act of voicing (or writing) my silly fear and having it received without ridicule but understanding, that enabled me to actually achieve it.

Tomorrow I will have a go at using it! Thanks for sharing Quirky.

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I just had a thought! Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all feel comfortable to express what we don't deal with, instead of maybe thinking we need to keep it to ourselves.

Maybe we would feel better knowing other people might not be coping as well as we think they are.

If I let someone know I hate computers they may be able to help me overcome my fears and trepidations.

A bit like the kind person who helped birdy with the trolley!

I wonder how many people in the supermarket go without items that are on a shelf that is higher than they can reach because they don't feel comfortable asking someone to help them?

Maybe we can all be a little more aware of others around us and see how we may be able to assist them, there fore building up our own self esteem and sense of value.

Wishing you all a day where you feel more empowered than you did yesterday!

Cheers all from Dools

[Deliver]

I know how you feel, as part if my ocd/anxiety, I feel urge to avoid certain trivial tasks. Different to the types of things you mentioned, if I waited for others to help me do things, I'd hardly ever get anything done. I rarely ask anyone to help with daily type tasks. But I procrastinate and can get very anxious about doing small things. I think it's best to just confront that feeling, as continuously asking for help with things you can do, reinforces this type of anxiety. If you gradually make yourself do the tasks that feel a bit daunting, you become more desensitized over time.

[Deliver]

Things that make me anxious and make me feel avoidant are:

Going to work/thinking about going to work the next day

Certain errands (depends on day/mood)

Dealing with computer issues/backing up anything

Starting university assignments or working on them at all made me feel very anxious and avoidant

Appointments especially dentist

Knowing I have to clean the house sometimes makes me feel like that