panic attack at seeing people i know

[jacques]

hi there,

i am trying to leave my home more regularly as part of CBT to try to overcome my arophobia as well as other anxiety related problems, yesterday i when down the street with my mother to pay some bills, while sitting in the car i saw someone i knew from highschool 15 years ago and had a full panic attack, (fast breathing, full body shaking, seating, wanting to vomit, wanting to get out of the car and run to the safty of home), i don't know if this person even recognised me because it was so long ago, i am always so frightened to see anyone i know, this is partly the reason i do not leave my home, it is made even harder by the fact i live in a small town.

 i seem to find it harder and harder to want to go out, even just to sit in the car.

[angelite]

Hi Sparkles

Thanks for your kind words

You are doing a great job and nearly finished I'm so proud of you.

My challenge is to get myself to the Dr,not sure how to manage that one but ill let you no how it goes. 

Have a great day.

Karen

[jacques]

hi Karen

Oh Karen, What do you mean you have no talents, i am sure you told me you used to do up show cars, and renovate houses, i don't know too many women or men for that matter who would be able to do that, i can only do an oil change, i could probably strip a car down, but have bucklies and none to puttig it back together again.

you need to remind yourself how intelligent you really are, your grasp with computers is nothing short of amazing, i have not seen a person, who has had no technology come to grips with it in such a short space of time.

well today seems to be a better day for me, i seem more settled, but time will tell how long that lasts.

anyway how are you going, you said on your post that you were going bush, does that mean you managed to pick up your car? anyway make sure if you are in the wilderness you enjoy your surroundings, i am envious of you, i would love to be in the middle of nowhere with no one in sight, you are so lucky.

anyway take care and big hugs

Jacques

[jacques]

Hi Karen,

thank you for the kind words, i have been using compters for almost 20 years now, it is something i have found comforting to fill in such long days, over the past 14 years. you have to take some credit too, you did the hard work, and managed to achieve a nice picture.

ok, the tablet, it is possible that it is a scam to get you to hand over your personal information, so step one don't answer or give out any personal information, if you have a google account, go to play store and search for AVG it is the little magnifying glass in the top right of your screen, when you have found AntiVirus Security - FREE click on INSTALL, once AVG Antivirus and click on Scan Now you only need to do this once it will check your tablet weekly for viruses.  good luck if you need more info just ask. if your phone is a smart phone you can follow the same steps above to install an antivirus too for protection.

as far as the laptop goes you might need to take it to a computer place and get them to reinstall windows.

my mums car is getting old, more and more things are going wrong with it, it is so hard to keep it running, trying to get parts for a 32 year old car is near impossible, but will have to try my best as we can't afford a second hand one, and being in a rural area you really need a car.  even though we don't drive it much, it is peace of mind knowing it is their in case of emergencies.

i hope the info will help you, please let me know how you go.

big hugs

Jacques

[angelite]

Thanks J

That seemed to help I've done what you said and I will make sure I will do that weekly.

If you look a couple of posts back you will see what happened with my car

Take care

Karen

[angelite]

Hey J

I think that's great that you understood what I was trying to say, I wasn't sure if it made sense. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that feels that way but it has come from experience. It wonderful that something I said made you happy J. That means a lot.

Thinking of you

Karen

[jacques]

Hi Sparkles,

Thank you so much for the congradulations, i am happy with the result of the boat, they are a challenge, but it is something constructive to do. and a good time waster (since i have so much time to fill in).

So how was the first day at the new facility, i hope all went well, yay one day down, only four more to go, you are almost their.

how was your weekend, i bet you slept heaps, i know how it is not being in the mood to do the most basic tasks like cleaning, i really have to push muself latly to cook, clean, repair and build, it is so hard when your mind is telling you "what is the use", i have to really push myself, so i can imagine what it is like for you, ontop of being tired from work.

anyway i am thinking of you and counting down the days.

take care sis, big hugs

Jacques

[jacques]

Hi Karen,

Don't worry about the pic being sideways, he/she is cute no matter what.

Oh, you poor thing, i am glad you stood to the repairer, and you managed to get the car repaired properly and get some chocolates and flowers too, you see not all men are cruel and abusive.

i am glad you are seeing a kinder side to society, their are people out their like me and Tony who are caring and want to see you happy and live life again, it will take time for you to see the good in people, that is only natural consdering what you have been through.

i am glad that the anti-virus worked for you, it should check your phone/tablet every week automatically, and will let you know how it went along the top bar of your phone/tablet.

i am so happy you anaged to get your car, their is something comforting about having your car, i always feel uneasy when my mothers car is not running, i don't know what i would do if we ever had to let the car go, mum bought it new when i was born and it is the only car i have been in since, it is all i have ever known, it is like my "security blanket".

i was so thrilled to read your post in "Dispair Please Care" where you said you would be better being alone and happy than have someone and be miserable, i could not have said it better myself, i feel the same way, and if it were not for the anxiety and depression i would be so content.

i know how distressing the flashbacks are, mine lasted for years before they slowly stoped being such a frightning thing, but at the time i didn't have medication to help me, i am hoping that the medication ou are on will help in the near future.

i am sure you will make it to the doctors when you feel ready, i know how frighteneing it is, i am terrified that i will be sent to the MHU too, it distresses me so much, i am panicking days befor i have to go, not to mention the people in the waiting room, it is so overwhelming, but i suppose you and ihave to manage as best we can.

anyway please take care and i hope tonight goes quickly for you

ps i love the birds churping of a morning too, gives me a sence of someone being happy.

big hugs

Jacques

[angelite]

Hey J

I agree the best thing about the mornings are listening to the birds I love the kookaburras, major Mitchell's, cockatoos get a bit annoying, king parrots are my favorite.

Guess what l finally made it to the Dr. Impressed I bet......

He is trying to get me in with a psychiatrist if he can't I will have to go back to the mhu. So I'm waiting for him to call to tell me what I have to do. Its been a long day. But l need the help.

I'll let you know how I go.

Hope you got some time outside and feeling ok

Karen

[jacques]

Hi Karen,

WELL, a BIG bunch of Virtual flowers for you, i am impressed, you see, we can both make it, it takes a lot out of us, but we make it in the end.

gosh you do know  your animals, i only know kookaburas and cockatoos, the rest i just go on color, but we have a menagerie of birds because we have so many trees, so i don't even know how many different types we have, it is just nice to wake up to after a terrible night.

it looks like you are on an up week and i am on a down week, not sleeping well, struggling with fear and anxiety again, night sweats, shaking, and as usual over thinking.

no i have not managed to go outside, i just can't seem to do it during the week, i am terrified that if people see me out and about during the week they will think i am a dole bludger, so i just go out on weekends, and only in the yard, i just really struggle with being around people, and before you say it i know the dole bludger thing is in my head, but it really stresses me out.

please, please, see if you can go online sometime and sign up for some private health cover (if you can afford it) so you can get better health treatment in the MHU, i think you would find it more helpful not being in the public system.

i am glad you are sounding a bit better, you have had a tough few weeks, make sure you treat yourself to something nice to reward yourself for the doctors appointment.

Take care and big hugs

Jacques

[Sparkles183]

Thanks J,

i did not get much sleep on the weekend and it is the 2nd week it a row that I have 3am mornings....but I am enjoying this placement it is the best placement I ever been on. I have high anxiety levels at the moment and I have had to put some of my coping strategies in to practice, but I guess that is a good thing the only way I can describe myself right now is when you serve up a meal for yourself and you put to much on your plate and you can only eat a little bit. Well that is me. I have taken way to much on with work for the last 5 weeks, the dessicion to pack up my house and move to Perth (I think long story) in less then a month And trying to get ready for christmas I guess it is all to much for me but i made sure I got myself iced coffee and chocolate on the way home from work so despite that I have put to much on my plate and having trouble coping, I can not be to hard on myself.

so that brings me to point of discussion for both you and Karen what kid of coping stradiges and safty plans do you have in place of any? 

I just thought it be interesting to discuss coping stradiges and safety plans u never know we can get ideas from each other and it may help one of us.

take care 

sparkles