panic attack at seeing people i know

[jacques]

hi there,

i am trying to leave my home more regularly as part of CBT to try to overcome my arophobia as well as other anxiety related problems, yesterday i when down the street with my mother to pay some bills, while sitting in the car i saw someone i knew from highschool 15 years ago and had a full panic attack, (fast breathing, full body shaking, seating, wanting to vomit, wanting to get out of the car and run to the safty of home), i don't know if this person even recognised me because it was so long ago, i am always so frightened to see anyone i know, this is partly the reason i do not leave my home, it is made even harder by the fact i live in a small town.

 i seem to find it harder and harder to want to go out, even just to sit in the car.

[geoff]

dear Jacque, I am just checking on a few posts that haven't been answered to, but my concern is whether you are still checking up on this site, and if so please contact us, so that your comment can be addressed. Thanks. Geoff.

[jacques]

yesterday my mother had a surprise visit from friends that she hasn't seen in 20 years, i immediately had a severe panic attack and went to my room and locked myself in. I was so distressed I could not even turn the pages of a magazine because my hands were shaking so much.

When they were about to leave they asked to say hello to me, and my mother told them I had agoraphobia and invited them in to say hello to me.

I was so petrified I cold only say hello and was unable to say anything else they all did the talking and I just nodded.

What is wrong with me, why can't I be like everyone else!!!

I am unable to leave the house.

I am unable to leave my parents.

I am unable to have any sort of fun.

I am a prisoner in my own home.

[Struggler]

Hi Jacques

From what you described, it seems you're suffering from extreme form of anxiety.  You can't live like this.  You mentioned CBT, is a psychologist treating you or you self administer?  Do you have GP?

I hope you're still around and please post again with more information in regards to your current treatment so we can give better advice. 

Struggler

[AGrace]

Hi Jacques,

"Why cant you be like everyone else?" ...You are just like millions of others, including myself, who experience severe anxiety. So please dont feel like you are alone, there are plenty of us that contribute to the forums who can relate to how you feel.

CBT can be a very useful tool to help us challenge our thinking patterns. I personally find that when my anxiety gets out of control, or what I refer to as "crisis" stage, there are other forms of therapy that I turn to first, quite simply because my brain cant deal with the steps of CBT when im in absolute distress. Im not sure if you are seeing a Psychologist or other treatment professional but you may want to start by practicing some distress tolerance skills first. A psychologist should be able to help you with this. It can be as simple as focussing on your breathing, taking deep inhalations and slowly increasing your exhalations. You could also try listening to music that helps calm you, or visualising a place where you feel safe.

If you're not seeing anyone yet it would be my suggestion to get some assistance with how you're feeling. A psychologist/ psychiatrist can also eventually help with gradual exposure therapy to get you feeling more confident with social situations.

Let us know how you get on, I really do hope you will seek some support.

AGrace

[jacques]

hi struggler and agrace

thankyou for responding to my post, i have lived like this for 14 years, i have no friends at all in that time and the only outside contact i have with people is anyone who comes to the house, or the shops which i try to avoid as much as possible, i have very rarly talked to anyone about this and still often wonder weather i should or if i should shut out the outside world all together.

Ii do have a gp who i see every 6 months to renew my script for anit-anxiety medication, he would like me to go there every month but i find it to traumatic to go there so i only go when i run out of medication.

I have seen a psychiatrist and psychologist both for one session about 2 years ago,i could not afford to see the psychologist and the psychiatrist made me feel as though i was just wasting his time, so i never went back, i have read a large number of books on CBT and what anxiety and depression is and as much information as i can get my hands on.

 so much time has gone past i often wonder if i will be like this in 20 years time and if i will ever be able to have any contact with the outside world.  people are nice to me in the shops, and  i often wonder why i do not try to socialise, maybe i have just become use to being on my own and have become set in my ways....

[AGrace]

Hi Jacques,

One of the things that is common for those of us who experience anxiety is that we spend a great deal of time in the future. Lots of what if's. There's every chance that in 20 years time you will be fully functioning and getting out and about socialising. Just imagine!!

There are plenty of services provided in the mental health sector whereby the professional will come to you. This could be worthwhile investigating. If finance is an issue there are also professionals who are completely covered by medicare. (I'm making the assumption that you're an Australian Citizen.) Have you tried researching your local community health service? Beyondblue also has a list of professionals that specialise in mental health that you can access on their website. Can your GP make house calls? Or are you able to see another GP that does? 

It sounds like you've done a whole heap of research about some of the things that can help with your condition and now could be a good time to seek some extra support. Life is too precious to stay indoors.

Good luck, and let us know what you find.

AGrace

[jacques]

hi there AGrace,

Thank you for responding so promptly, due to living in a small remote town in central west NSW it does not have a lot of services to offer, the services they offer are of excellent quality though, but if you do not feel comfortable with on psychologist/psychiatrist you do not have a lot of other options.

I had a Councillor come to the house 2 years ago trying to help me overcome the anxiety, but i found it more frightening thinking about going out than to not get any treatment at all, it has been so long since i have had a proper conversation with anyone that it is incredibly difficult to speak to people face to face, because i have been isolated for so long i do not know what to say to people.

Ii have found that on the rare occasion that i do have to talk to people, they feel intimidated because of my body language and my direct answers to their questions, because of the anxiety i become very unwelcoming, and do not want to talk for too long.

when i see someone that i used to go to school with , they talk about their job, partners, kids and things they own (cars, Houses, etc...) and when they ask me what i have been up to since school i have to reply nothing, because i have not left the house since high school.

i apologize if i have offended you about my comment about being normal like everyone else, what i meant was why can't i be like the majority of the population who can function in society without problems.

[dom86]

Hello to Everybody 🙂

To Jacques

I just signed up and I am new to BeyondBlue, but I am not new to the symptoms you are experiencing.  Let me tell you from my experience how things are.

The only way I have reduced my anxiety and depression symptoms is to accept that I might have this for the rest of my life.  Once I stopped struggling with it and excepted it things started to change for me.

Im not saying that im anxiety and depression free, but it has reduced slightly.

I recommend for not just you but EVERYBODY in this forum to read a book called (Beyond the power of your subconscious mind) Author C.J. JENSON.

My god did this book help me out.  It changed my whole perspective of my anxiety/depression and helped me get my life closer on the right track.

You need to stop saying negative things and try and turn into a positive thinker.  No matter how hard it is, you have to do it.  Visualise everything positive.  Where so used to looking into the future and picturing negative things happening, why not say stuff that! instead of the situation becoming negative , picture yourself in that event being confident! I GUARENTEE YOU IF YOU DO THIS YOU WILL SLOWLY GAIN CONFIDENCE!   But you have to do it. 

There will be times my friend where you struggle but that's how it is for us, its just how it is don't beat your self up 🙂 .

READ THAT BOOK I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH.

 FLOOD YOUR MIND WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS.

TALK TO PEOPLE AND TALK TO YOURSELF POSITIVE

NO NEGATIVE CRAP!!!!

i know its hard, but you have to do it, you got no choice 🙂

[jacques]

hi dom86

i have always been a negative thinker, for as far back as i can remember, i have suffered from anxiety since the age of 5 and now that i am 32, this way of thinking has become so engrained that it is almost my default state, i have cut contact with all of my friends about 10 years ago and cut contact with family about 7 years ago, i found my life was a lot more less complicated this way.

a lot of my friends and family always commented about me being a "Dole Bludger, and being useless" and over time i have become to belive that i am partly lazy but i do understand that i have serious mental problems.

it is easier to hide away from life and society instead of facing it, and as unfortunate as this is it is the path i have chosen.

i even find the government targeting people like me as being a "dole Bludger" and "A burden on society" so it makes it incredably difficult to think any other way, being useless is all i hear.

unless i cut off all outside communication eg radio, tv, etc this is the only way i will be able to get away from all of the negativity.

sorry if this is sounding like a sob story, but this is how it is.

i will find the book you refered to a read it, reading and music is my only escape from reality, so i am looking forward to this book.

thank you once again for your kind comments.