Noise Anxiety caused by neighbours

bundychikk · ‎30-10-2019

Hi everyone I need some advice. For 3 years I have been suffering with anxiety cause by my neighbours kids. Abit of a back story - They are living in a rental house. The kids yell and scream shrieking all day they are in the backyard unsupervised most of the time. They come onto our property they throw rocks at our house and our dog. They swear at us over the fence if we are in our backyard. They have recently come into our carport and smeared mud all over our glass doors when we weren't home. I have contacted the real estate multiple times about this issue and they have said they are doing what they can. We have never done anything to these kids apart from asking them to be quiet and stay off our property. For me everything is good when there is no noise but as soon as i hear one of them talking or playing now it makes me feel sick wondering if anything is going to happen . I find myself going to the windows and watching them to make sure they are not doing anything or on our property. It has gotten to the stage that even just hearing them makes me jump like a bang has gone off and i even think I can hear them when they aren't actually making any noise at all. I think i can hear them even when its the middle of the night. Every single day I am always on edge and anxious to the point where i feel physically ill, worried, heart racing, headaches. I have mentioned it to my husband who is away a lot for work and doesn't see/hear it a lot so he doesn't think it is that bad. I am at my wits end with this and don't know what to do any advice would be greatfully appreciated. This is the only issue that makes me feel this way i have no other problems with any other things like this in my life.

white knight · ‎30-10-2019

Hi, welcome

Yes, it can be very annoying and yes it can result in mental health issues.

If you had spoken to the parents I think you would have mentioned it. So, that is my advice. To befriend this family is a crucial step in avoiding future issues is lowering them.

Don't go empty handed, a small bunch of flowers, a small toy for each of the kids. While you are there ask questions, people like others taking an interest in them. Try not to judge them if their house is a mess or any other lifestyle, remember, your intention is to have a distance relationship whereby the children will think better of you and the parents approachable. I wouldn't mention previous events like the mud on your car etc.

Then a few days later cook a batch of biscuits or buy some and when those kids stick their head over the fence call them to stay there "I've got something for you" and give them a biscuit. Subtle steps will help.

The direct friendly approach might work, if not then visit again and do the same thing but at the end casually mention you had mud on your car yesterday, "I don't think it was your children that did it, do you know who"? Again, don't direct blame or you'll end up enemies.

Hope that works.

TonyWK

Gizz_36 · ‎30-10-2019

Hi I had the same problem but this was with noisy teens having party's. The weekend the moved in they chuck a party and I thought ok might need to deal with this for a while and hopefully they might move out well the teens did move out but the mother was the real party animal and she drank a lot she had a hard childhood so she self medicates and then it just became to much and I got mad at them this was about 2 yrs ago but I should have handle it a bit better.but I put up with it for 5 yrs and I always thought the other neighbours would complain first but they didn't and after I got mad at them they chuck another one then I called the cops their still living there today but I don't talk to them and it's not good I think white knight has the right approach with dealing with them I'm selling my house now I'm not happy here. But just thought ill share my story good luck I'm sure there's a solution but don't get to mad and it's hard sometime but good luck k

shygirlk · ‎02-11-2019

I am really sorry you are having problems with your neighbours, I can really sympathise. I too have problems with my neighbours who live directly above me. A few things I have done is try and ignore their behaviour and get on with my days, I know this is difficult to do though. I have lots of hobbies that get my mind off things including craft projects and I also play musical instruments. My neighbours have a habit of stomping around on their floor. They have been warned by the Real Estate to stop doing this though they have unfortunately not let up now they know it is a problem. I think to myself that they will get board of this behaviour and hopefully stop one day. I have also invested in a whitenoise machine, some good quality ear plugs and some noise cancelling headphones which has help greatly. The other option is to try and get away from the noise, is their a friend, family member or public library you could go to? White Knight and the other people who have replied have also given your some helpful advice and suggestions, and hopefully some of them will provide you some comfort.

music_man · ‎02-11-2019

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry to hear and I sympathize with anyone who has noisy neighbors. I also have very noisy neighbors, and a lot of them.

I live in a big townhouse complex that is gated and has an onsite manager. Having an onsite manager here was the only reason I moved in. Unfortunately the manager is never here and he does absolutely nothing about anything. The result is that it's complete chaos. I'm not going to go into details but it's very bad. I have the police on speed dial.

The way I am able to lessen the impact on me (I'm constantly on edge due to the noise) is to wear headphones. I have wireless headphones so that I can wander anywhere inside. They don't completely block things out but they definitely help.

julzy · ‎16-03-2023

Thank you for sharing your story. It's a tough one. I and drunks whom played loud music for 4 years straight and the cops were no help. Left me with an overwhelming sense of dreadful when at home so I moved. 10 years later and I still get panic attacks when moving house or slight noise from neighbours, fortunately it's never been as bad but the trauma lingers.

I will advise to see a psychologist while all this is happening to stem the possibility of ptsd. If you can move house, do so. With regards to the agent, if you are financially able to get a lawyer to write a letter threatening legal action. That worked best for us with the drunks.

Other than that, always remember, life isn't fair and bad crap always happens to good people but nothing, NOTHING, is permanent. There will always be bad days but they will subside. You will be ok. Good luck