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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Tilsa Should I quit my job?
  • replies: 3

I am a 43 year old female. I work in a hospitality job, doing Front of house, and the chef has got a huge grudge against me. He glared and gives me dirty looks. Looks of disgust. He will not talk to me only to the other people working there. If he do... View more

I am a 43 year old female. I work in a hospitality job, doing Front of house, and the chef has got a huge grudge against me. He glared and gives me dirty looks. Looks of disgust. He will not talk to me only to the other people working there. If he does have to talk to me he yells at me. I work at the other restaurant, where his daughter is the chef, and she treats me like I am a person who doesn’t know what I am doing. She questions every single order I put through, tells me I made a mistake when I didn’t because it had been what the customer ordered. She is also not in Front of House, she is the chef. I have been there for over a year and this treatment started about 5 mths ago. About a week ago I was asked why I am a lesbian, which I am not. I told them that I’m not but it shouldn’t matter either way. The next day one of the other male chefs took his shirt off and asked me to give him a massage. Should I leave this work environment? I need the money, is the reason why I’m still there.

Sickofeverything Next of kin
  • replies: 2

Is there anyone else out there that does not know who to make next of kin. I come from a large family and have no support. When being admitted to hospital or when in accident you have to nominate a next of kin, can’t get it through people’s thick sku... View more

Is there anyone else out there that does not know who to make next of kin. I come from a large family and have no support. When being admitted to hospital or when in accident you have to nominate a next of kin, can’t get it through people’s thick skulls that if you don’t have one you can’t nominate one. As for close friends, near impossible. I am socially isolated and any friends I have are only friends because I don’t burden them with my problems. Other issue is, who when you have no one do you leave your estate to

riddle95 My partner doesn't understand my anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hi, I love my partner with my whole being and it pains me to say that we are polar opposites when it come to our mental health. I consider him to be the lucky one because he is so care free and comfortable compared to me. I have GAD and take medicati... View more

Hi, I love my partner with my whole being and it pains me to say that we are polar opposites when it come to our mental health. I consider him to be the lucky one because he is so care free and comfortable compared to me. I have GAD and take medication for it daily. I've been diagnosed for about 8 years now and until 2 years ago, I was battling severe bouts of anxiety and depression daily. Panic attacks, no emotional regulation, suicidal ideation and was just not in a good place at all. I have come so, so far and I feel happy with myself. I am working full time and living a productive and relatively healthy life. But here is my issue: My partner does not understand my anxiety. He is so care free and makes comments that are really hurtful because whilst he is just "joking around" sometimes, he goes too far and too often he does not validate what I am feeling. He does this because his mind functions differently and he cannot fathom someone getting worked up over something so "simple" when to me, it could feel like I am about to die or it is a big deal. Often it is fine and I get over it. But it has gotten to the point where he doesn't even consider what I am feeling because I am being "unreasonable" or "ridiculous" because it isn't an issue for him. He makes jokes about my reactions and it is fine when it is actually something that is unreasonable or minor that I am genuinely over reacting to - but my issue is the big stuff where I cannot help feeling like I am going to die. Being in the car is one of them and he won't even recognize how I interpret situations or experiences because if it isn't "scary" or "dangerous" to him, then it mustn't be at all and anyone who thinks that is "wrong." I have tried encouraging him to learn about my anxiety but he is so damn resistant and when I try to talk to him about it he just says that he "doesn't understand." He even says "it must be hell living inside your mind." And I say... "well, yes. That's why I take medication and had severe depression until I learned coping techniques."I don't know what to do. I am incredibly sad and frustrated and don't know how to talk to him. How do I get him to understand my anxiety and how he can help me rather than setting off my triggers and making a joke like it isn't a big deal if he does set off a trigger? I hate how this creates arguments some times. I feel like my anxiety ruins everything.

GreenEgg Managing health anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hello I can’t stop wondering about and researching ADHD. I’ve never raised it with anyone because I feel guilty even thinking it, let alone mentioning to my GP or psychologist. How do you know if something is real or not, something you’ve convinced y... View more

Hello I can’t stop wondering about and researching ADHD. I’ve never raised it with anyone because I feel guilty even thinking it, let alone mentioning to my GP or psychologist. How do you know if something is real or not, something you’ve convinced yourself? I feel so guilty because although the symptoms resonate with me, I know what I’m like. I’m definitely a bit health anxious and sometimes my anxiety completely spirals, even if I have evidence to the contrary or it’s just not common sense. I feel guilty because there’s someone in my family with ADHD, and because my mother worked in a school setting with kids with learning needs and disabilities. Surely she would have noticed, or someone would have. Also I can’t help but think I’m probably just like convincing myself on the false hope that there’s an explanation and a magical fix, like being able to take medication. G

Mike_N Struggling with upcoming MRI
  • replies: 6

Gday all. 35M, and expecting to be a first time father in June, after my Wife and I trying for last couple of years. Been on a bit of health kick, as I wanted to be able to keep up with being a parent. Did have a bit of health scare last year, which ... View more

Gday all. 35M, and expecting to be a first time father in June, after my Wife and I trying for last couple of years. Been on a bit of health kick, as I wanted to be able to keep up with being a parent. Did have a bit of health scare last year, which has flared up my health anxiety. Recently, went for a routine eye check as I wear corrective lens, and referred to a Glaucoma specialist. Turns out I’m lucky enough to not have it, however the specialist recommended I do a brain / eye MRI to exclude any tumours etc. Lovely specialist, said she doubts that’s the problem but wanted to rule it out. The thing is, I’m struggling with the what if and could be scenarios. To my anxiety driven mind, it seems like that’s what the cause is. And so I’ve been delving into information on the internet and fueling that interpretation rather than thinking positively: if it was serious I would have been told to go to ER , etc etc. Just really struggling to bounce back from this darker line of thinking, but as I’m about to be a dad, have an amazing wife, I just get caught up in the bad what if scenarios. I know there’s no point in stressing about it til I’ve done it. But (and there it is) the ‘the what if’ is eating me away. Work mates have picked up on it. I’ve just sort of mentioned got a bit on the plate and leave it at that. Thanks for letting me vent.

Mallikdel Longterm health anxiety sufferer and memory issues
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I am a long time health anxiety sufferer with really bad episodes. I am 38 years old and since last couple of days am scared that I may have dementia. I forget things once in a while but last couple of days it doomed on me that I may have Ear... View more

Hi all, I am a long time health anxiety sufferer with really bad episodes. I am 38 years old and since last couple of days am scared that I may have dementia. I forget things once in a while but last couple of days it doomed on me that I may have Early onset dementia. I am very scared right now as I am in a downward spiral thinking about what will happen to my family. Poor wife is tired of my episodes. Has anyone here have had memory issues with severe anxiety? What were your symptoms? please help. Need to calm down but can’t.

seekingpeace Anxiety overload
  • replies: 2

New member, long time worrier. I amso anxious at the moment I am doing things mindlessly. Ever driven somewhere and thought, hey how did I get here? I am medicated, but have overwhelming stress that leaves me feeling extremely lonely. Anyone else cur... View more

New member, long time worrier. I amso anxious at the moment I am doing things mindlessly. Ever driven somewhere and thought, hey how did I get here? I am medicated, but have overwhelming stress that leaves me feeling extremely lonely. Anyone else currently in this situation?

AbiG Feeling lost
  • replies: 6

Hi, I only found this forum today, as I was just trying to find anything online that might help. I don’t even know what I was looking for. I’ve had serious depression & anxiety, & been medicated for around 5 years. I am having such a bad time right n... View more

Hi, I only found this forum today, as I was just trying to find anything online that might help. I don’t even know what I was looking for. I’ve had serious depression & anxiety, & been medicated for around 5 years. I am having such a bad time right now. My anxiety is through the roof, & I feel I’m spiralling. I don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to anyone as I feel everyone must be so fed up hearing about it. I spoke to my psychiatrist yesterday, but she can’t medicate me any more. I just can’t cope with anything. My daughter’s issues at school, awful school mum politics & the constant guilt of having an only child. What do you do when you can’t see a way out of feeling this way?

CourtneyJ Recovering after disruption in routine
  • replies: 1

GAD, SAD and depression sufferer for 10 years+ I've always had an unhealthy relationship with food. Recently I'd gotten into a really positive and healthy eating routine that I felt was sustainable. This is a HUGE deal for me. Then this week my fridg... View more

GAD, SAD and depression sufferer for 10 years+ I've always had an unhealthy relationship with food. Recently I'd gotten into a really positive and healthy eating routine that I felt was sustainable. This is a HUGE deal for me. Then this week my fridge died, and with it all my healthy foods. This threw my new routine out the window. It was exceptionally stressful to buy a new one (spending that much money, making sure it fit in my small apartment etc.) which even causes a panic attack at one point. Even after getting my new fridge and it fitting perfectly, I still have residual anxiety/paranoia that's interrupting my eating and sleeping. And picking back up that previous routine seems too overwhelming. Has anyone else experienced the "residual anxiety" post a panic attack or stressful event?

SK_ Stress
  • replies: 1

Any tips on how to manage the stress that comes with a full-time workload and raising two young children. I am struggling with finding a balance that works and feel like I am always either letting down my workmates or letting down my family.

Any tips on how to manage the stress that comes with a full-time workload and raising two young children. I am struggling with finding a balance that works and feel like I am always either letting down my workmates or letting down my family.