Newbie - looking to feel more independent when unwell

[SaltPep]

Hi everyone,


This is my first post. I’ve decided to join to use this forum to give me another tool for support without relying so heavily on my key supports (husband and sister who are both wonderful). Being overly-dependent on them when I am unwell has become somewhat of a habit - to the point of needing one of them with me nearly 24/7, or at the very least having them “on call” constantly. This of course leaves me feeling petrified of being unable to handle it should they be unavailable, and lowers my sense of independence.


I have a great psychiatrist (who helped me identify the above) and psychologist, and have just completed a couple of weeks in hospital to stabilise my anxiety and OCD and transition medications. I’ve never been to hospital for this before (aside from a short admission at age 11 to get my initial diagnosis) and was terrified. But I settled and felt really good for a lot of it, and benefitted well from the structure. Of course, now I am out, I’m terrified too. But I think that’s normal. Today is my first day at home without my husband, so dealing with my anxiety on my own, and it’s been up and down. And so I found myself here.


As part of my OCD/anxiety I am prone to “reassurance seeking”, so I think I need to be careful with how I use this forum to make sure I don’t end up using it for that purpose. Any tips from people who feel they have a good balance on this would be very welcome - I don’t want to replace one unhealthy coping mechanism with another!


Thanks

[jess334]

Hi SaltPep,

Welcome to the forums. This is definitely a great place for finding support.

Sounds like you have had a tough time lately, but you seem fairly positive about your recovery which is great!

How did your first day at home alone go?

I started using the forums for a bit of extra support, similar to yourself, but I soon found that responding to other people helped me more.

Please keep posting when you are able.

Jess

[SaltPep]

Hi Jess

Thanks for the reply. Today was really hard, but I got through it. I’m hoping tomorrow will be a little easier but we’ll see. I’m doing my best to take a step at a time but it’s hard not to let my thoughts about how I’m going and the challenges ahead get me worked up. Need to keep working on it.

Thanks again for the reply, I really appreciate the support.

[baet123]

Hey Saltpep,

Thanks for posting and providing us with an insight into your life. Sorry to hear that your struggling at present. As Jess mentioned above, this is a great caring, non-judgmental platform where everyone here is super supportive and we all wish to help one another achieve our mental health goals.

I know that you don't wish to be overly dependent on your support networks, however, it is amazing that your husband and sister support you constantly and this is extremely encouraging.

It is also important now that you have transitioned to another medication to ensure that you tell your psychiatrist whenever you notice any side effects or if you feel the new medication isn't effective. It is wonderful that you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist which will be extremely beneficial for your treatment.

Use these forums as much or as little as possible and you may also find it even more beneficial to read others posts and learn from other's experiences rather than in a sense "feeling the need or feeling obliged"to post etc. We will be here whenever you need someone to talk.

Look forward to seeing you around on the forums and all the best.

Have a great week.

Nick.

[SaltPep]

Hi Nick and Jess

Thanks for your reply and suggestions Nick. It’s helpful to know these forums are here.

My psychiatrist appointment went well, we tweaked my medication a bit more and we are also waiting on some myDNA test results to confirm what kinds of medication my body metabolises best. Hopefully that will help narrow down my medication options or confirm that we’re already on the right track. I also saw my psychologist yesterday and we’re thinking of trying ACT to help me. It’s a little tricky because my work with my psychiatrist and while in hospital has all been CBT based (in fact every therapy I’ve done since diagnosis 17 years ago has been CBT based), and I’ve simultaneously been seeing my psychologist who has been coming at things from more of an ACT angle, which my psychologist acknowledged might be confusing me so thought it’s time to move forward with one therapy and get both of my therapists on the same page. My psychiatrist and I had discussed ACT in the past as a next step, so I think she will be very much on board with this plan. My psychologist has contacted her to share her plan with moving me to ACT - I think in a nutshell she feels I’ve gotten all I can from CBT and I’m thinking she may be right - or at the very least ACT is a toolkit I could definitely use.

I tend to get caught up on if I’m doing exactly the right thing to help me get better quickest (e.g. am I being too soft on myself? Is this method of addressing my thought right? Am I being too avoidant? etc), so since I’m in a transition of therapy styles right now, rather than stressing about if I’m applying the right kind of therapy to myself when I’m distressed I’m just going to do what feels right for the next little while, and hope that anything I’m doing is going to be helping - not to mention the time passing settling me and letting my meds kick in.

Anyway, that’s my update for now for anyone who is reading. Thank you for the replies and support so far. It’s so wonderful that there are people out there looking to support each other like this.

Thanks,

SaltPep

[jess334]

Hi again,

Great to hear your health team are all working together.

I transitioned from CBT to ACT a few years ago and was glad that I did. I feel like ACT is much more positive and focuses on working with my anxiety instead of trying to distract myself or ignore it, which is often impossible!

kind thoughts,

Jess