Need a rant

JacintaMarie · ‎03-12-2023

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Just an update, I go back to work tomorrow & I've enjoyed being on holiday & this afternoon had a cry about going back to work, need too as I'm too young to retire. But I feel angry, more about management but don't have reason too & I'm being unfair to them, they're learning still, they make mistakes (don't seem to be learning). My next goal is to understand why I have this anger inside me, why can't I live & let live. Why am I annoyed at them. Why does my period make me feel like this, I know, hormones & my serotonin is low. Just tired of not getting it!!! Of my stupid brain not stopping my thoughts. Of not being able to relax.

white knight · ‎12-12-2023

Hi, welcome

I'm sorry it has taken so long for us to respond.

You've now been back at work, how has it turned out?

Would you care to elaborate about your problems at work?

As for the anxiety, please consider visiting your GP. Also I have a thread you can read about beating anxiety.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

TonyWK

JacintaMarie · ‎12-12-2023

Hi White knight

It's been okay, richju helped me & it's okay, I got some mood supplements. Sometimes I don't know, at work whats just bullshit & not to worry about. For eg, last week, we got an email about when we get a coffee at work, we need to tag off, I thought someone must have done something wrong, but it was just osh reasons. Just stupid stuff like that.

I just hope next time my period comes, I can get on top of thoughts, or today the thought same shit different day

JacintaMarie · ‎13-12-2023

Hi

I bring something positive. I was triggered by my TL back at work, her dad died after an illness & in the afternoon, I said unkind thought about her. I started to cry & went to lunch, got out the tears. After lunch, I sat quietly & did mantra & was a little depressed about being at the same place for 22 years, I sometimes think I'm going to be there forever. I can't even get an interview! Get rejections.

Tjough being Positive- I have job so I can look around for another job!

I think I took it out on TL because I was lashing out, I don't know why my unkind thought of wanting her to retire popped in head! but glad I said it in head.

I'm only 41 but I can't wait until I get to retire, I see oldies working & it reminds me that I don't want to be 63 & still working! I know it's everyone's choice, that some need to work in 60s or even want to work, as they don't like being at home.

I don't know how to punish myself for unkind thoughts about TL,

2nd positive is that I managed to learn about book orders, it's getting more better

white knight · ‎14-12-2023

It seems that a job change might be the answer.

I have always believed that 2 part time, even 3 part time jobs is better than one full time.

Imagine working indoors for 4 hours then have lunch then work outdoors for another 4 hours, maybe not work at all on Wednesdays. Thats ideal for me if working (I'm retired) as it mixes environments up and contact with different people.

One distant friend went part time at work then got a cleaning contract with a few local councils so he and his wife toddle off at 9pm and visit various rest rooms in the area, clean them every second night.

So its just ideas. Well done anyway, when traumatised at work for whatever reason its isnt easy reminding ourselves that a few days time and we feel much better.

TonyWK

JacintaMarie · ‎14-12-2023

Hi

How are you? Yeah, I agree, I need another job! But it's harder, need to work on resume better.

Do feel bad that there are some people at work that I need break from, their not bad or anything, just need a break. Or I don't connect with.

white knight · ‎15-12-2023

Workplace relations can be draining, we can spend more time with them than our own family.

What is a good strategy is getting to know them better. This brings out the kind, empathetic often humorous side and promotes conversation. By asking questions when they bring up a personal topic is to take interest and people like that. eg they've been on a camping trip so chat about what they did, what supplies they took and so on. Even if you arent interested you are showing interest and that makes you a good person in their eyes.

TonyWK

JacintaMarie · ‎17-12-2023

Hi Tony

Thanks for that, I'll try to do that, I have learnt. I think my TL has abit of adhd, as she's very up & down & can't seem to sit down. I think too, I'm getting ptsd, as she has similar behaviours to the old TL.

I'm still looking for another job, though.