My feelings

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

I have feelings that I have and when people don't respect them (if this is the correct word) I feel worthless. And when other people feel one way, I feel bad for not feeling that way, I'm sorry, that's the way I can explain, I 'm not explaining it well.

For example, at work, I'm the only one who wears a short sleeve tee shirt & everyone else complains about the cold, I feel the odd one out for not feeling cold. I have made the mistake of explaining but this just makes them angry, they don't want to hear this, I've even said, perhaps the area is too large an area to heat up, the smaller the room, the quicker it is to heat, or is this completely wrong!

I know, I know, I shouldn't say anything, I need to be prepared for the opposite reaction, because of this I don't want to talk at all, it's easy & no one needs to get angry if they don't like what they hear. I have been told though, if people get angry, it's a reflection of them not me.

I just worry about things I shouldn't!

[JacintaMarie]

Hi The Rising

That's interesting, another of my triggers is that if I do something a wrong way I get told off so I'm sensitive about doing it right, because in my head, I feel like people are going off at me, they can't just tell me, well that girl usually "goes off" at me, but I get told that I'm imagining this, that is in my head. To me, she always panics at me, which sets off my panic & anxiety. I can't say anything to her about it , I tried & she just turned it back onto me, so I don't want to do that and anyway it is my fault, I've learning to be quiet, as when I speak at work to the girl, she usually panics, some others do, so it's better if I am silent, though my "big" mouth occasionally talks & I think why mouth, why did you talk.

Though yesterday I found another bit of the puzzle of the girl, she can't help it, I think it's genetic , as her mother is the same . She was talking about how her mother was getting angry at her mother in law, allegedly the Mil said something bad about her, & the girls mother got angry, she's over it, but her mum is blazing, anyway the way her mother reacted, I could see her daughter in her.

I feel bad for not liking her, but then I'm taking my frustration out on others, am blaming others when it should be me.

It doesn't help that my periods turn me into a b####, most of my negative thoughts come through because of this.