Moved out of home for the first time

[Moving_mimz]

Hi all I moved out of home for the first time 2.5 weeks ago. Leading up to this I was pretty excited however first night I woke up and vomited and everything since then I’ve spiraled. I’m anxious most or all of the time. I’ve lost my appetite. I barely sleep. I’ve lost interest and enjoyment in things u normally like. I’ve had anxiety here and there but never this bad. I’m also really struggling with the appetite thing.

[Moving_mimz]

Thanks Croix. I’ve had a pretty rough 2 days because they want us to work from home and I just simply don’t know how to really be at home tbh. At work I go there and literally sit on the couch. I’m really struggling. I finally got my evenings and afternoons back and now they’re robbed off me again.

im also vomiting again! And that’s made me even more anxious! I think I’m just stuck in this anxious state. I’m too anxious to take prescription meds because I’ve heard so many negative things about them. But I’m so over the nausea, lack of appetite and the feeling of nervousness. Did your meds help you from feeling these symptoms?

I don’t want this anxiety to win! I’m just so anxious to do any house work I cbb. I’m so lazy. I’ll try using sailing mind now.

[Croix]

Dear Moving mimz~

Perhaps in time the work from home might become a distraction, it does for me, though I guess we are all different.

I did want to say with medications I've tried a lot over the years, and it took a long time to find one that is the right fit, now I'm glad I persevered. I will admit I was lucky in the end.

If you do want to try that app you will find it here:

https://www.smilingmind.com.au/

It takes practice, but again is worth it (plus you can switch the horrible background music off. There are enough audible reminders as you go to stop the mind wandering (mine does very easily:)

Croix

[Moving_mimz]

Hi Croix,

I have gone backwards now... I’m back to vomiting, loss of appetite completely. Don’t know if it’s the working from home that set it off but I know logically I can do it but it’s my mind and body saying no everything is uncomfortable don’t do it.

I see my psychologist again today hopefully she’ll be able to give me some insight in what to do.

I was doing better and then fell apart again! I’m tired and exhausted. I barely sleep and barely eat and don’t care about anything anymore. I’m sick of feeling like this 😭😭

[Moving_mimz]

Hi croix,

I just wanted to say a huge thank you for helping me through this.
Im just updating you on how I am. My brain fog has lifted a little. I still feel disconnected but better than before. I’m slowly starting to realize I fear change and this long term responsibility. And I’m working on them as my core issue with a anxiety coach and my psychologist. I’m on a herb that seems to calm me down abit. My appetite isn’t amazing but I eat on a schedule. And my sleep has only slightly improved.

ive acknowledged I have adjustment anxiety and I need time to work through this. And the lockdown a blessing in disguise is maybe an opportunity to work through it. I’m deeply grieving leaving my parents and miss them being around all the time a lot and I think that’s what sent me into the depression side.

so I’ve identified exactly what’s going on with me. If I go backwards again and I can’t cope I will be going back to my gp for meds temporarily to help me adjust.

I have a picture of what I want in my head how I want my life to be and what I want life to be. And I focus on that instead of focusing on not wanting anxiety.

im drawing on this strength within to pull through. And I know I will have bad days and good days. No matter how long this journey is I hope I come out stronger than ever. And more resilient than ever.

especially going through my mental breakdown during a worldwide pandemic. If I can survive this I think I can survive anything 😂 once again thanks for your help I’ll updated u in a couple of months.

[Croix]

Dear Moving Mimz~

I think your saying

I have a picture of what I want in my head how I want my life to be and
what I want life to be. And I focus on that instead of focusing on not
wanting anxiety.

is great. You are putting the important priorities in the forefront of your thinking and starting to stop anxiety from taking over.

Recognizing there will be ups and downs and planning for them is another very healthy attitude, you will get there.

I look forward to hearing how you go.

Croix

[Moving_mimz]

Hey croix

Just updating you on how I’m feeling. I’m very up and down. I had a really good week last week and then I think I made the mistake of sleeping at my mums house over the weekend and the feeling of dread returned. I’ve been feeling very different feelings now. It’s like at times I forget and feel myself acting like I used to act. Or maybe I’ve become better at faking it in front of people or maybe I’m just used the way I’m feeling. I feel like I’m in a trapped room and don’t know where to turn. This is now my new home my new home and I fear it and I’m scared I’m not happy with it. But I know I wanted it and I was excited for it. So I’m just confused now.

[Croix]

Dear Moving mimz~

I'm not sure sleeping over was a mistake, after all it is going to keep on happening I would imagine until you are really used to the new home.

Being scared when things are so unsettled is only natural, it is strange territory and I'd imagine you a worried you will always feel bad.

Actually you are having times when your old self is returning. It may add to the confusion and you may assign it to putting on a mask, but I'd think it is simply you are adjusting, a bit now, a bit then.

I'm sure in time you will fell at home more and more

Croix

[Moving_mimz]

Thanks Croix.

You’re right maybe it is me adjusting slowly slowly.
I am just abit sad because I was doing so well last week 😞 I was eating I was excited to cook. I cut my hair I felt like a new me and then I sunk into the depressed anxious state again but if I can pull myself out once before I can do it again. It’s feels harder this time.

I’m just finding it hard to accept my new home and all the responsibility that comes with it . I can’t feel like this forever at some point I will adjust again

[Moving_mimz]

Hii,

Just an update on how I am going! I have had a rough time however I have tried to dig deep in to my soul if that makes sense and find the strength to pull out. I feel like I have landed back on earth, I am still anxious and I am still sad at times. I am abit traumatised by how I felt and the experience has left me abit shaken. I know I still have a long way to go. But now I am working on acceptance - accepting this is my new place, this is my new home, this will take time to adjust, there will be ups and downs and my old life is now gone.
I am trying to say bye to a part of me that has been there forever and welcome a new part, one with responsibility and independence. It will take time. and time is my answer.
I have adapted a fake it till I make it attitude and I try to tell myself that my anxious brain is making me not enjoy things. I will enjoy things because I want to enjoy things!.

[Croix]

Dear Moving mimz~

It is not easy, and you are realistic, which is good. Please don't make the mistake of thinking it will be a hard grind all the way, more like patchy -with increasing good bits.

Your old life has not gone, it is part of you, memories for one thing, knowing things can be good and they are there because they are inside you.

You should enjoy things, you owe it to yourself to have htat reward -and the anticipation, every day. May I ask what you could look forward to now?

Croix