Moved out of home for the first time

[Moving_mimz]

Hi all I moved out of home for the first time 2.5 weeks ago. Leading up to this I was pretty excited however first night I woke up and vomited and everything since then I’ve spiraled. I’m anxious most or all of the time. I’ve lost my appetite. I barely sleep. I’ve lost interest and enjoyment in things u normally like. I’ve had anxiety here and there but never this bad. I’m also really struggling with the appetite thing.

[Croix]

Dear Moving mimz~

First off I have to say if you are teaching half the students in your class and they are responding despite the distraction of the disinterested others then you are ahead. EVERY one you do help is an important emerging human being.

Sometimes you will have a victory with one of the others, an additional blessing. You have to remember that unlike me at uni your students are not their by choice.

The having-a-baby-becuse-of-others problem is not unique to you, neither is the lack of confidence. As time goes on you will find if there is to be a baby it is becuse you and your husband both want one and you have the confidence in yourself (and him) to see it can work.

That's an excellent excuse BTW:)

Going without meds is OK, however I've not been able to go down that route, many can't. The right ones can make a large difference (the wrong ones can just make it worse, I remember)

Croix

[Moving_mimz]

I know you’re right but anxiety is masking all of that. I’ve fallen in a hole and am struggling to get out. I want to take meds but I don’t know if the outcome and both psychologist and doctor just say I’m adjusting. My husband doesn’t want me on meds either.

schools may be closing down soon or not because of this virus so I won’t have to deal with work not saying that’s good for the anxiety. It adds another layer because I’ll be home continuously and I’m thinking about packing my things and going back to my parents. I can’t sit here on my own 😞😞 I’ll be so bored and anxious.

youre right about having the baby. When the time is right I’m not thinking about it anymore. It’s something that I can’t deal with right now. my husband really wants one though.

every step or new activity of the day makes me anxious and I just don’t want to do it but I persist and do it. I’m about to go to work. Despite being very anxious about going. Especially with the current situation.

I just think to myself great I moved out of home this whole virus thing is happening. I’m more swept up in my anxious world and don’t even know how I feel about it. Worst timing 😫 but anxiety does that you sit their in your own world and think it’s falling apart when others have it much worse.

I know this is temporary but how temporary 😞 I know there’s a lesson to be learnt and I need to build more resilience.

[Croix]

Dear Moving mimz~

You may find the problem with school opens up new doors as on-line and video-link teaching become more prevalent. It is a whole different way of doing thngs and you may find it to your taste.

You don't build resilience by yourself, it is a team effort, plus time (and no, I don't know how long:)

Frankly I don't think your husband's views on meds (or having a baby at the moment for that matter) come into it. You have to do whatever you need.

I think you are doing great, not only are you going to work but trying for a sense of perspective too.

Croix

[Moving_mimz]

Thanks Croix!

I’ll see how I go. For now the mornings and during the beginning of the day is where I feel most nauseous and anxious and I’m not sure why.

I look forward to the afternoons and have bath and just sitting down relaxing on the couch.

I think I’ve made progress. I’m exercising keeping myself grounded. Not thinking too much about what’s happening with this virus and playing it as it comes. If we go in to utter and complete lockdown I’ll move back in with my parents as I would want to see them no matter what. But as for now I’m staying in my house and I’m persisting.

I don’t think it’s about the house or the move anymore. It’s now dealing with the anxiety itself because it’s all a blur and I don’t know what I’m anxious about. I just have the feeling there and nausea just adds to the anxiety.

so that’s the stage that I’m at, at the moment. Can’t wait for the evenings because for some reason in the evenings I’m the most relaxed and clear minded.

I searched and it said in the mornings the stress hormones are the highest. Where as at night they decrease. Maybe that’s why.... not sure 😫

[Croix]

Dear Moving mimz~

You mentioned "It’s now dealing with the anxiety itself because it’s all a blur and I don’t know what I’m anxious about"

Now that phrase rings bells. I've often, when not in a good state, felt that my mind has a sort of quota of anxiety to get though, and then just picks on things to be anxious about, not really caring what they are - a strange thing, your quote reminded me.

At the end of the day perhaps your physical condition comes into play and damps down the anxious thoughts.

One method I've found that does help get me out of a loop of worry and disaster predictions is a free smartphone app called "Smiling Mind". With a little practice it can divert your mind quite successfully, even the 2 minute demo works.

Croix

[Moving_mimz]

Yepp exactly that! My mind picks everything to be anxious about. Whether I get up to go work, or I’m staying home. Everything just causes anxiety. It’s this little voice no you can’t do it... it’s crazy it will make me anxious to stay in bed and anxious to get out of bed ... the power of the mind...

I’d say my nights or evenings or afternoons becoming easier is an improvement. So at least I know I’ll get some rest.

I found something to make me laugh in the afternoons. I’m watching tik toks now... I used to laugh at the students, didn’t even know what it was now. Now I just laugh from that so that’s another positive.

Thanks for all your help! I’ll definitely check out the smiling mind app. You’re an inspiration and your story keeps me going because i know that this is temporary and that it won’t last forever. And I’m doing everything I can for it not to be permanent.

[Moving_mimz]

Ok just an update! Which is so confusing.
I’ve gone back to really missing my family home. Being upset about leaving. And really wanting that easy life back! 😫

[Croix]

Dear Moving mimz~

It would really be great if improvement was a constant upward curve, even just a slight but consistent one. One could take encouragement from the fact each day was (even if only slightly) better than the last.

Sadly in real life anxiety and all the rest come and go in waves (tell me about it:), which is less easy to deal with , as it is harder to track overall improvement, and when down everything looks pretty bad anyway.

You will swing up again

Croix

[Moving_mimz]

Hey Croix

The mornings are getting harder and harder I think because I’m over them and becoming frustrated that I keep feeling nauseous every morning. I just want to get rid of the nausea and feel relaxed

I know in my head everything I’m doing getting dressed, packing lunch for the day is not scary but I’m anxious about doing all those tasks

I also feel like everytime I feel abit relaxed or on top of things, my body is quick to tell me no you need to panic things are not normal, which is so frustrating

The anger you were talking about has started

Im really stuck... I looked in to some herbal medication to help me just lower stress levels... found this one named ashwaghandha, I don’t know if I’m going to start it

Maybe I do need meds, but I feel like going on them would make me more anxious

Now I’m really worried if work stops because of this lockdown what do I do all day. I can’t even sleep in. I’m so anxious about that.

[Croix]

Dear Moving Mimz~

As mornings are big problem maybe you should try something different.

Get up 15 minutes early and lean to use Smiling Mind. With practice you will have a different perspective and hopefully you will feel less nausea. Sure as you go about your morning tasks anxiety will rise - as much out of habit as anything. Have somethng to look forward to at lunchtime. Really work at finding something you can look forward to, it's worth the effort.

I've no idea about herbal remedies and I do not know which prescription might make you feel better - it took me a long time. The only way is to try them under medical supervision, giving each type (there are quite a few) a chance to work. Which reminds me please tell your GP about any herbal remedies, some react adversely with prescription meds.

If there is a lock down then your talents will be needed more than ever, I doubt you will find too much spare time.

Croix