Hi Riss,
Thank you for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that things are difficult at the moment. It can be challenging to seek help, so it is great that you have been able to get some support. In terms of the hospital admission, it can be a bit different for everyone in terms of experiences and expectations, especially regarding the types of drugs and the condition(s) that they are living with. It may be helpful to remember that hospital is the best place to try to make changes as this is where you will be monitored closely, the staff know what to look out for, and you will hopefully be able to get psychological support too. I do not have children of my own so can only imagine how difficult it must be to think about being away from them. Is it possible for them to visit at all? If not, it may be helpful to schedule some FaceTimes each day and to take some photos for your room or space so that you can have them around.
I would definitely recommend having a few things for you to have as distractions or that help ground you - whether that is music on your phone, a book, magazines, drawing or whatever feels right for you. That fear of never feeling good again is something I can relate to a lot. It can be hard to find hope or have hope sometimes. It might be best to try to take it day by day. It can be a really slow and difficult process of finding your way back and finding what works for you, but how you feel now doesn't mean it will always be like this. If you are able, maybe try to write down a couple of things that you really value, that may be motivating you to get the help that you need to recover.
I'm sorry if this was not the answer you were looking for, but I hope that you know you are not alone in your struggles. Please do not hesitate to reach out on these forums whenever you need to.
Take care Riss.
