Loneliness despite close family and friends

[redandblue]

Hi all,
I find it very difficult to connect with people on a personal level, including with my wife and family. I constantly feel lonely even when socialising. I have been seeking treatment for this and other issues but most recently my loneliness has been at its peak. I often find myself on forums to find stories from people in my same situation as it helps me feel connected that I’m not the only one who feels lonely despite being around family and friends.

Im wondering what others have done in this situation when loneliness and a lack of connection with people gets you down?

thanks for reading

[That Other Guy]

Has anyone assessed you for ASD? Because I'm autistic and I hear you.

For me personally, I join forums like this one to feel some sort of connection because I am mostly alone.

[therising]

Hi redandblue

As That Other Guy suggests, there can be a specific reason as to why we can be left feeling the way we feel, yet not know that reason until it's revealed to us in some way. Once it's revealed, a lot can start to make sense. This is what I've found myself, being a gal who has the benefit of hindsight beyond a number of years in depression.

Looking back some of the reasons

• I'd naturally lost a sense of connection with a lot of the people around me because I needed to be raised to the next stage of my life and they weren't in a position to do that, for various reasons. Sometimes you can be living life with a number of people who are all quite content with the way life's going. Suddenly, you can begin to wonder 'Is this all there is to life?'. While beginning to feel a sense of desperation, when it comes to moving beyond a basic life, the disconnection comes when all around you want to stay the same. Your paths begin to separate and you feel it. When you begin to question life, it can become depressing when people are telling you to stop, instead of leading you to ask the right questions
• Low energy levels still play a big factor in my life when it comes to feeling connected. Vibrant connections rely on a lot of energy. If energy levels are seriously low it's hard to feel anything
• Having experienced post natal depression with both my kids, during my years in depression (so a bit of a double whammy), I really felt the depressing lack of chemistry when it comes to that major bonding factor (oxytocin). While also feeling I was seriously failing as a mum on both occasions, which really wasn't true, the sleep deprivation was also depressing (that serious lack of energy)
• Certain internal dialogue can generate depressing belief systems which can disconnect us. If a lot of friends and family members are all busy around the same time and it happens to be at a time where we're feeling down or seriously lost, these 2 facts can lead us to the wrong conclusion (1+1=4). In other words - Busy people who have no time for us when we're desperate for help can equate to 'Simply no one cares about me because I'm worthless'. Disconnecting through a sense of grief
• Simply losing interest in people who no longer fascinate us
• Others not being able to connect with us through our perspective in life. Nothing wrong with being an introvert, they make brilliant philosophers and analysts 🙂

Just a handful of many factors. Perhaps some are relatable. Hope it helps 🙂