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Life isnt supposed to be this hard is it?

Community Member
For me, daily life can be really hard. Simple things like running a household, cooking for my man, getting to work on time, getting to work at all some times, getting a good nights rest, making time to exercise if I have the energy for it, all this is sometimes just too overwhelming for me.The pit in in stomach, the tightness in my throat, irritibility, nausea, tingles down my arm, pain in my chest, constant thoughts- life isnt supposed to be like this is it? I've been doing some soul searching the last few years- trying to unravel why I feel this way, what caused it, when it began and can I fix it??? Im a 28 year old woman. Ive been through alot in my short time already. From growing up in an abusive household, to having eating disorders in my teens, OCD in my teens, which I managed to talk myself out of, being used and abused by boys and then feeling more down for gaining a reputation, being it hurts me to type this-but technically raped more than once, then having a shit relationship from 19-25yrs old where allowed myself to be emotionally and mentally abused to the point I didnt recognise myself anymore, and am still healing alot of these wounds..... Did i forget to mention drug use from 19years, even until now sporatically-but i dont enjoy it. I dont want to stress over simple things anymore that dont matter. I dont want to have a panic attack and have no idea why, i dont want my heart to ache and have no idea why-yet think about it so much that I cant stop worrying about it and then it aches more...... I dont want to sleep separately to my partner, because im such a light sleeper he wakes me up rolling over..... I want to be free or myself.... Can anyone recognise themself in my story?
1 Reply 1

Community Member

I wasn't abused and i didn't use drugs. I have panic attacks and feel exactly how you describe. I have lots of people in my life but no one other than close family to spend time with. I live at home and work is 3 blocks away. I don't see much point in everyday   activities and struggle to enjoy anything that i used to enjoy doing. There  are so many things i want to do but lose the motivation as soon as i think of doing it or always find excuses not to do things, leaving me stuck at home with my parents. I was picked on at school and struggled at school because of it. I left high school during year 9. I have not had any good relationships with males, they end up using me for sex or blaming everything on me even though it is their problem. I don't know what to do but want to beat this and be free again.