Last minute anxiety making medicine in to a source of stress

[BlueLily]

I've been doing dancing as a hobby for sometime, my medicine, which I enjoy as a way of taking my mid off work and busy life. During this I've had stage fright for a while. But with various strategies overtime I have been able to overcome the anxiety to an extent. So now leading up to a performance I feel confident and feel like I've long passed my stage anxiety. 

However, few hours right before the performance I start feeling anxious, about potentially feeling anxious during the performance that can result in completely messing up or forgetting my steps. The silly side of this is, even if I forget or mess up my steps it's not a big deal, happens to people sometimes. Sometimes they talk about it but everybody is there to learn. My mind realises that it's irrational but not when I'm about to go to the performance. Hence my medicine turned in to a source of stress.

Has anybody had similar experiences and hopefully some tips?

[Eagle Ray]

Hi BlueLily,

I don’t know if this helps but I can give the example of how I largely overcame a disabling fear of public speaking. Starting in late primary school and throughout high school I suffered horrendously if I ever had to speak in front of the class. If we were given an assignment that involved speaking in front of the class I would be terrified for a week beforehand, already not sleeping and beside myself. This fear continued into uni where tutorial presentations would have the same effect. It was the same with music performance exams. I would shake uncontrollably and never perform near my capability.

What began to turn things around for me though were some mindfulness meditation skills I started to learn, especially from attending a Buddhist meditation centre. I began to learn to focus on the moment rather than the past and future. I started to think about this when I had to give a tutorial presentation. I realised I really wanted to communicate the ideas I had and meaningfully engage with an audience. As I began to focus more and more on this communication and being in the moment, the fears began to subside somewhat. I still felt nervous, but it wasn’t as impairing.

Then a bit later I started to write my own songs and was a member of two songwriting groups. I then, amazingly for me given my shyness, started to perform my songs at open mic nights at pubs and music venues. Again, I focused on the feeling within myself that I wanted to connect with the audience. That felt really meaningful to me, so by focusing that way it was easier to do the performance.

So the answer for me was caring about the communication in that space with the audience. I wanted to reach them with my expression and that desire to communicate began to override the power of the nerves. It kept me more in the present moment and a state of flow.

So I’m wondering when performing if you can shift from worrying about the future (e.g. possibly getting steps wrong) to just feeling the desire to express your joy of dance and sharing that with the audience? So like the space between yourself and the audience in the present moment becomes what is meaningful?

I don’t know if that helps but I thought I would share that in case it does. Hopefully others may have further suggestions. I think if you can get inside that feeling of the joy of dancing, remembering how it is medicine for you, it can also be medicine for your audience as well. So it is a sharing of joy.

Best wishes,

Eagle Ray

[BlueLily]

Hi Eagle Ray,

Thanks for the lengthy response. It's amazing to hear that you went from being anxious to performing at the pubs. I have tried meditation, probably all my life but focus is one of the main struggles for me. This gives me some encouragement though, that it can work, that there's a solution. So I won't give up.

Thinking about the audience, enjoying the performance myself is a good strategy. However, I find all my other emotions dominated by the anxious feeling on the day and leading up to the performance, and sometimes a week before like you mentioned. Despite trying breathing exercises and everything. Perhaps I can try meditating as well. And try various methods out there to see which meditation works for me.  

[Eagle Ray]

Dear BlueLily,

It did take time and putting myself through those situations again and again for it to become easier. That meant I did have to go through feeling really nervous but do it anyway. The nerves never completely went away but I did find as I oriented more and more towards wanting to communicate, that began to have more power than the nerves, if that makes sense?

I do understand about the meditation. I have gone through phases in life where I have not been able to meditate as well, even though it's been really helpful for me at other times. It might be easier to focus more on absorption in the moment, just being with your body and in a state of flow. That is sort of similar to mindfulness meditation but more active.

I'm thinking it might be helpful to also read up on dance performers, or any other kinds of performers, as to how they handle nerves. I imagine many, even at the highest professional levels, still have challenges with anxiety in relation to performance. Some might have some really good tips. So perhaps you could try a google search on that. It would be good to hear from other dancers as it would relate directly to what you are doing. It would be great to have that perspective from the inside experience of being a dancer.

I hope you can feel that connection with dancing as medicine and keep enjoying it.

Best wishes,

ER

[tranzcrybe]

You could try beta blockers, but as this is a hobby the preferred option would be to learn to laugh -

• at yourself for being anxious,
• at the absurdity of performing within a supportive group,
• or as a way to release stress prior.

Think of it as a game: the object of the game has no bearing on who is playing it, so the 'stage fright' component is moot.

Once you take 'yourself' out of the equation, you are free to enjoy the experience - thus performing at your natural best.