Hi BlueLily,
I don’t know if this helps but I can give the example of how I largely overcame a disabling fear of public speaking. Starting in late primary school and throughout high school I suffered horrendously if I ever had to speak in front of the class. If we were given an assignment that involved speaking in front of the class I would be terrified for a week beforehand, already not sleeping and beside myself. This fear continued into uni where tutorial presentations would have the same effect. It was the same with music performance exams. I would shake uncontrollably and never perform near my capability.
What began to turn things around for me though were some mindfulness meditation skills I started to learn, especially from attending a Buddhist meditation centre. I began to learn to focus on the moment rather than the past and future. I started to think about this when I had to give a tutorial presentation. I realised I really wanted to communicate the ideas I had and meaningfully engage with an audience. As I began to focus more and more on this communication and being in the moment, the fears began to subside somewhat. I still felt nervous, but it wasn’t as impairing.
Then a bit later I started to write my own songs and was a member of two songwriting groups. I then, amazingly for me given my shyness, started to perform my songs at open mic nights at pubs and music venues. Again, I focused on the feeling within myself that I wanted to connect with the audience. That felt really meaningful to me, so by focusing that way it was easier to do the performance.
So the answer for me was caring about the communication in that space with the audience. I wanted to reach them with my expression and that desire to communicate began to override the power of the nerves. It kept me more in the present moment and a state of flow.
So I’m wondering when performing if you can shift from worrying about the future (e.g. possibly getting steps wrong) to just feeling the desire to express your joy of dance and sharing that with the audience? So like the space between yourself and the audience in the present moment becomes what is meaningful?
I don’t know if that helps but I thought I would share that in case it does. Hopefully others may have further suggestions. I think if you can get inside that feeling of the joy of dancing, remembering how it is medicine for you, it can also be medicine for your audience as well. So it is a sharing of joy.
Best wishes,
Eagle Ray
