Is this anxiety?

[That Other Guy]

My wife and I had a hard year last year and she did things that have hurt me deeply.  I decided to stay and we're trying to move forward.  She seems to regularly talk about last year, even if I ask her not to.  When she does, I find it hard to breathe and I say things I regret because my mind races.  Is this an anxiety attack? This is all new to me....

[Fiatlux]

Hi That Other Guy,

Sounds like anxiety. 

There are still unresolved issues that your wife needs to discuss.

Some Hard Years take many more to recover and reconcile from.

May I suggest that your wife may need someone to talk to about her pain. Maybe she needs to join a forum or have counselling. A third party May just help. Especially when you have anxiety about discussing the past.

I stopped talking to my husband about the past, about anything really as he would yell or flee. So I have switched off and bottle everything up. My husband has a very large rug that we sweep everything under.

Please don’t take my bluntness to heart, but women need to talk even when they don’t get the answer or reaction they want or need.

Staying and moving forward take a lot of hard work. Good luck.

[That Other Guy]

Thanks for the reply.  I am the woman in my relationship 🙂 We went to counselling and I want to go more.  I see my own counsellor every two weeks.  I agree, she's trying to sweep things under a rug, but she also won't listen to me, and brings these things up when they upset me.  The issue I guess is she got what she wanted last year and I just got hurt, so she loves to discuss it and I don't

[Fiatlux]

I am so sorry and I feel your pain 🙏🏼

[That Other Guy]

Thanks, I appreciate it.... I am not sure if we will last at this point, but 29 years is hard to walk away from