Intrusive thoughts

[purelight]

Hi everyone, this is my first post but I have been following with interest people's stories and realising that I should share my story in the hope that one or more of you could help me. And perhaps down the track I might be able to help others. I have had ocd for as long as I can remember. My dad had ocd, although he never admitted it and it was obvious that his sister has it as well. At first the ocd centrered around doing things a set number of times. eg As a child of about 10 years of age I felt I needed to get into and out of bed a set number of times before "it felt right" This progressed to checking taps, doors and other appliances numerous times. When I had children I would check on them numerous time while they were asleep just to make sure thy were still breathing and that I hadn't covered their head with the blankets. My most debilitating obsession is my intrusive thoughts and when the ocd is not being managed appropriately this is what brings me unstuck. I am 58 years old and I'm still bothered by the same horrible intrusive thoughts. A while ago I decided that my medications were not as effective as they had been. I decided to wean off the meds, one was an SSRI and the other an anti psychotic. I did this without really listening to my psychiatrist.After I'd weaned down to a certain level I then swapped over to a different SSRI. Under the guidance of my psychiatrist I have now increased the dose of the SSRI to a level I can tolerate and am about to increase dramatically the dosage of the anti psychotic. My question is have any of you who are troubled by intrusive thoughts found that you need to be on quite a hefty dose of an anti psychotic before the thoughts are able to be kept in check? I have been going through menopause and my mum died late last year which are also contributing factors. I have felt bad for so long now and wonder when this hell on earth will disappear. I have taken two weeks off work as I wasn't coping and wonder if I'm ever going to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Any helpful thoughts, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[NicoleP]

Hi ChloeKat84

I was thinking of you on Monday cos I knew that you were feeling a bit nervous about your appointment. I am pleased that all seemed to go well. It sounds as though you are well on your way to getting things sorted out - I am pleased for you. xx

[purelight]

Hi Geoff and Chloekat, I've now been back at work for four days. Each day I felt that bit better about being back on deck. The depression has begun to lift which is great. Thank you to you guys for being reassuring and so supportive.I go back to the nutritionist soon so I'll let you know how things go. Ciao xx

[Chloekat84]

Hey Purelight. Im glad things are looking up and better for you. Let us know how ur getting on in the next few days. U take care now xxx

[geoff]

dear Purelight, thankfully I found your post as I was going back over previous pages, and found yours which is great.

I hope that you thought I wouldn't reply, but this is a problem with the site, and that's not fair really because it's improved so much, so the more people that type a post  means that comments like yours are pushed backwards.

I have googled pyroluria and it's amazing that some therapists, doctors or counsellors can think of something that our body might be missing, and bingo up comes a result.

I can't be more pleased than you are, for being back at work.

It takes just a little bit of understanding, help from all angles, and is always there for you, and when I say this it's certainly not a signing off, because you still need to keep in contact with how your tests go and everything else.

It's always great talking with you, and I hope it continues. L Geoff. x

[purelight]

Thanks Chloekat and Geoff for your replies. Thinking of you. x

[lisalovesbacon]

I signed up to say I also go through the same things as you all do, these intrusive thoughts are a real pain in the butt. I've just turned 25 and it's been happening since I was 13, my family didn't understand why I had thoughts of hurting them which made growing up with anxiety a little harder. The intrusive thoughts seem to come and go now thankfully, and I seem to know how to deal with them now. 

[geoff]

dear Lisa, would it be possible for you to get back to us, because these thoughts can be frightening, however we have achieved a lot of progress with Purelight, and I wonder if you have read all the comments by her and myself.

No one really understands what and why we have these thoughts or why we do these habits and/or rituals unless you have it yourself, and I'm not meaning to be rude to Purelight, as I'm sure she will know what I mean by saying that I have had it 54 years, goodness me that's twice your age, but please don't be frightened by this as I'm a gentle type person. L Geoff. x

[lisalovesbacon]

Yes I did read the whole thread, I'm impressed by purelight's progress 🙂 I have read this forum before when I was depressed, it did feel good knowing other people are out there going through the same stuff. My intrusive thoughts aren't just about hurting people, there are other things I don't like talking about. I've been told I have Pure O which is just obsessions no rituals, but as a teenager I had rituals but it looks like I've grown out of it. I wasn't sure whether to start a new thread or not.

Does OCD get easier to deal with as you get older? I would hate to be a terrible mother in the future just because of my anxiety.

[purelight]

Hi Geoff, my MTHFR blood test came back heterozygous (0ne copy of the gene mutation A1298C) which I would have received from one of my parents. This means that I carry a risk factor for atherosclerotic arterial disease. It also demonstrates that I have vitamin deficiences. My body probably isn't converting folic acid to folate. Depletion of folate can lead to heaps of health issues, one of which is depression and anxiety.I have ordered the special folate from an organisation called iHerb in the states which is cheaper than here in Australia.It is called methylfolate. I'm still waiting to receive it in the mail. I'm hoping that it might provide the key for  me to achieve better psychological health. Just some more interesting and possibly exciting issues for you to ponder. Ciao x

[purelight]

Hi Geoff, I saw the doc yesterday who first suggested I get a hair analysis done to see if I was copper toxic. (ie too much copper in my body ) He interpreted my latest hair analysis as showing that the copper levels are decreasing but are still high. Zinc has increased which is good. I am to continue the vitamin regime and hopefully will continue to see improvement in my wellbeing.He,interesting enough. debunked the existence of pyroluria. He said that my problem was a lack of zinc. Anyway, I'm feeling so much better than 3 months ago so something is working. Probably a combination of the antidepressants actually starting to work and my copper levels decreasing. My psych also said that increasingly he is seeing patients in which the antidepressants take at least 10 weeks to start working. Wanted to keep you up with what is happening. Hope life is going ok for you. x