Im feeling overwhelmed.Loneliness and guilt.Dont want to lose friends.

[Beaser]

Hi and best wishes. I am starting to feel myself slide again . I have long been involved in my local football club and having been single for so long so it has been like my family and my support network. I have a partner now and she isnt that interested i dont know how to go about things as far as continuing my involvement. I dont want to lose her over it but i need my friends and my social network. I have had a huge battle with depression and anxiety for my most of my life. I have leant on people for support too much at times and im scared that i may not have that support anymore because they may be tired of it. I have sruggled with work for so long as a result. I just want to be happy again .I feel like im on this horrible treadmill and never get anywhere. I would appreciate any feedback and thoughts from anyone i hope i have described my situation ok as it is hard to do . Thanks for reading and best wishes . Brett.

[Beaser]

Thank you Other Guy.

I know its for the best . But its hard . The temptation is to ring but maybe she will see me in a better light if i dont .

Brett

[That Other Guy]

I know it's tough, that's why I think it's awesome you see her as a human and respect her needs, even when it hurts.

My wife talked about leaving me at the start of last year. We are together because I fought like hell, and by that I mean I gave her everything she needed and respected her boundaries. There's no guarantee you'll get back together, but not respecting her would never change that.

[Beaser]

Thank you that means a lot to me . Brett

[Beaser]

Bit tough today i have a job interview and that makes me nervous. Am i doing the right thing im having all that sorts of thing go through my head . It starts me ruminating about my ex partner and what i did wrong . It would be so easy to pick up the phone and call her but every thing and e everyone tells me not too .I know that we all get complacent and start to take things for granted in relationships sometimes . Living alone is so hard at times . It would be so easy to just call her but im resisting..... Hope every one has a Happy Day .

[That Other Guy]

Good luck with the job interview mate. How long were you together? Have you thought about dating again? Is she dating again? I get not wanting to be alone, but if we accept that she needs space, then perhaps you need to find what you need elsewhere? My wife of 28 years insisted on an open marriage last year. I went on the dating scene even though I didn't want anyone but her. I did meet a lot of ladies who I got on well with, and made a connection. In my case, it led to my marriage coming together again but either way, it was a real journey of growth for me to see I was viable to women in general and had something to offer

[jtjt_4862]

Heya Brett,

Hope your job interview goes well! Whatever happens from the job interview, know that you're more than capable in dealing with whatever comes your way.

It's good to hear that your football club has a lot of benefits for you in terms of mental health and overall wellness. If you do feel yourself needing to balance time with other priorities, there's no harm in talking with your football club about it to see what they can do to help you.

Similar to what The Other Guy said, it's great that you're keeping no-contact with your ex. You need as much time away from her as you can in order to heal and re-learn being comfortable living alone. Surround yourself with your friends and your football club thru these hard times, and do what you feel makes you happy.

Jt

[Beaser]

Hi JT'

I think my interview did go well as i walked away thinking that i couldnt have done any better so i guess thats a pretty good sign , now of course i have that familiar anxiety and churning stomach about am i doing the right thing and can i handle it . I actually ran in to my ex partner by complete accident and that has triggered me to be in contact by text . So that is bringing up similar emotions of am i doing the right thing there or do i just leave it . Being lonely has kicked in . I just dont know how to go about things at the moment, Best wishes Brett .

[That Other Guy]

Always remember, you have no clue who else they interviewed, so you can't control the outcome, but you know you did your best.

Loneliness is hard. I honestly have no one but my partner and it leaves me vulnerable. Have you thought about a plan to meet other people, not potential partners, but just other people for company so you don't feel alone?

[jtjt_4862]

Hi Brett,

You've done your best, and the rest will be in the hands of the recruitment team. But whatever happens, you'll be ok.

Hmm, that must've been rough when you bumped into your ex. The relationship ended because something didn't work out, so going back now would most likely yield the same result. When we love someone dearly, we want to protect and be with them constantly. But at the same time, we also let them go for what they feel is best for them. We can learn to appreciate the good times we've had, and mourn the end of the relationship. Loneliness comes from the sudden emptiness where it was once filled by your ex. You can fill that emptiness by filling your time with friends/family/football club, or as The Other Guy have mentioned, meet new people.

You could also spend time discovering new hobbies, learning new skills that you couldn't do while you were in a relationship. Or picking up an old hobby again. Explore new places, things etc. Things to take your mind off the loneliness while you heal thru your heartbreak.

Hopefully that helps you Brett, happy to listen to you more.

Jt

[Beaser]

Thanks Again Jt .

You always make sense with what you say . I know its best for me to leave things with my ex. I also want to be respected in the way i go about this and i think thats the best way . I think its so much worse if you cant move on with your head high . As for the job im really demoralized and done with my current role . The only thing is i can take leave when ever i need it . The idea of coping in a new job and losing that ability to have time off really stresses me , But is it better than being a role that is demoralizing me. Im not sure . brett ,