I have social phobia

[Glasshouse6]

Hello,

i don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ve never spoken to anyone about my mental health. But I had a realisation today, I have social anxiety. If you keep reading, it’s probably obvious, but I always just thought I was very self concious. I had a hard day at work, my anxiety was off the wall. I couldn’t turn around at my desk, I didn’t want anyone to look at me. I got home and started looking up anxiety and started reading the symptoms of social phobia and I lost it. I had every symptom listed, everytime. I cried for two hours and now I’m here...

How do you get help for anxiety when the steps you need to take make you anxious?

My social anxiety has ruined my life. I’m 27 and don’t recall a time I didn’t feel this way. It criples my life. I can’t do the regular things people do. I can’t even have a god damn conversation.

i can’t do anything alone, the thought of doing regular tasks give me anxiety. I’m not comfortable, anywhere besides my house and in my car (when it’s not moving).

I sit at my desk at work with my head phones in and speak to no one. I don’t turn around, I don’t make eye contact. I eat alone in my car every day.

Then I go home and sit on my couch and speak to no one and go no where. Ive lost all my friends, I push people away.

I get mad at the people I love when they put me in regular situations because I fee anxious.

i literally sit around and think about things people said to me 15 years ago when I was a teenager. I think about everything I’ve said that day. If someone is mean or rude to me I will think about it for weeks. It will keep me up at night.

I just can’t do anything. I want to sit on my couch with my dog and shut off the world.

Driving gives me a different kind of anxiety, I’m terrified. I had a panic attack once 2 hours from home and had to sit there for four hours until I could slowly build up the courage to get home. I had no choice but to drive or leave my car there and then I’d have to deal with the social anxiety of catching the train alone. I went to the doctor after the incident and he said it was an anxiety attack and to just ‘deal with it’.

I don’t know what I am doing. I want to be better. I can’t talk to anyone. I could never do counseling. Please tell me how to do this? I don’t want to feel like this, I’ve wasted 27 years hiding in myself.

Sorry for the super long lost. I appreciate you reading.

[Croix]

Dear Glasshouse6~

As someone with anxiety I can relate to a lot of what you say. The mind going over and over things, the panic attacks and all. I'm a lot better, and that came about mostly though the correct medical treatment. Finding out that I actually suffered from a recognized condition, and it was not just me, came as a real revelation.

In case you are unsure being told to 'deal with it' is not medical treatment, it is a put-off. That's a real pity. I'd imagine it would have taken you a great deal of courage to go see that doctor, and you would have left wondering why you bothered.

Anxiety takes a while to treat, and that treatment very often consists of therapy and/or meds. Can I suggest you go and find another doctor, one who is more understanding and prepared to take time to sort things out? Getting a professional that clicks wiht you is terribly important. Many people have had to search before finding one.

Going to see a GP can be very hard. Obviously the first thing is book a long appointment, but then the face to face conversation can seem impossible. Before now I've written out everything first and shared the paper. You could do that or print out your post and use that. It definitely makes things a lot easier - plus the doctor gets a clear picture, which is needed for accurate treatment.

Being unable to turn around is a terrible way to be, as is being stranded by a panic attack. The one thing I'd realy like you to see from my reply is that your life -like mine -can be miles better than it is.

I do hope you came back and talk more

Croix

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Glasshouse6,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here.

I'm sorry that you're struggling with social anxiety and it sounds like it's been really hard for you. I'm not sure what it is that helped you come to this realisation but I can see how confronting it's been for you to realise that everything connects with social anxiety. It seems like it's pretty intense (to put it lightly!).

You mentioned how you could never get counselling. Is that because it's too big of a step to take? Even though there's no doubt that counselling is a huge step, it sounds like it's one that might be worth it given how much the anxiety affects you.

Ironically, the steps that we take within counselling to manage the social phobia are also some of the steps we take to get to counselling. For example, if going to see a GP is difficult, perhaps the first step could be getting an idea of the counsellor you would like to see - looking at their websites, offices etc. Getting a little bit of an idea of how the benefits of therapy can outweigh the fear of getting to therapy.

Ultimately, I believe it comes down to baby steps. I think that you being here is already a big step and one in the right direction.

Hope this helps,

[Glasshouse6]

I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember.

my anxiety makes me depressed and my depression gives me anxiety. It cripples me in social situations.

I don’t want to be like this, so I went to help.

Ive done this once before, after I had a panic attack that left me stranded on the side of the load hours from my house. At the time the doctor told me it was anxiety and what do we do with anxiety? We just deal with it. Then sent me on my way.

But I want to be better, so I went to a new doctor.

i was so anxious waiting for my name to be called I burst out in tears the second she did. I cried for entire appointment, she booked me another appointment after talking to me about why I felt this way.

i left, I hated myself for crying I was embarrassed. I was anxious that I would have to do this anything.

but I want to get better, so I went back.

i sat anxiously in the waiting room again, trying not to send myself into a panic, I didn’t cry when she called me name this time, even if I felt like I was going to explode on the inside.

She asked me some more questions, told me to she’d refer me to a in-house psychologist on a subsidy and there is nothing more she could do.

Ok, end of the road with my doctor, but I’d go to the front desk and book w/ a psychologist.

Unfortunately, the next available appointment is on August 20th.

Four months.

why did come here?

why am I back at the start?

Why is it so hard?

why won’t anyone help me?

[geoff]

Hello Glasshouse6, pleased to welcome you to the site.

Anxiety and depression come hand in hand, in other words, if you have one then you have the other, so if you are depressed you often experience a lot of anxiety.

Please don't be embarrassed when you start crying, I often did it with my psychologist/doctor and there is no shame at all, what it means is that you are only showing them exactly how you are feeling.

If you try and hold back while you're with them, then how can you tell them what you are going through, you're not opening up and when this happens they don't know what to say or do.

Don't sit still, ring around for an appointment with another psychologist and if you get an earlier one then go back to your doctor and ask for a referral.

Go to your local community centre, they have counsellors, social workers and I know it's hard to find the energy and the strength but perhaps someone can help you or go with you.

Kepp looking.

[Glasshouse6]

Hi Geoff

thank you for our response I do appreciate it.

it took so much to get to the doctors the first time and the second time.

My social anxiety makes it hard for me to make phone calls to strangers. I don’t want to go back to my gp because she doesn’t take me seriously.

I feel like I’ve tried twice now and gotten nowhere. I don’t have the money to be just paying for weekly doctors for no result. I feel like I battled uphill to get there and now I’ve fallen back to the start.

it is all too hard.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Glasshouse6,

Thank you for your post.

Reading what you've gone through made me both equally proud and incredibly frustrated. Yours is a story that I hear way too often of people being stuck in the system. There's doctors that don't understand and psychologists appointments that can't come quickly enough. Frankly, it's not fair.

August 20th is a long way away; so let's see what you can do until then -

Here is the APS website for finding a psychologist - https://www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist

This will help you see who is in the area and what they specialise in or have an interest in. A lot of them have emails which in my opinion is much less daunting then ringing to see their availability!

The other thing that you can do is broaden your search or look in similar locations and on the bottom left hand corner is 'Interventions'. If you click this you'll have the option of phone or internet counselling. It might not be ideal, but it is an option and does increase those chances of not having to wait so long.

In both of these ideas you can still use the same Medicare Plan for your current referral; you'll just need to change the details.

Hope this is helpful,

[Sophie_M]

Hi Everyone, 

It seems this is a double up of Glasshouse6's thread that can be found here: i have social phobia  Could you please continue to support the member in that thread as we are going to close this one off for now. 

Thank you. 

[Croix]

Dear Glasshouse6~

I'm replying from your other thread. I think romantic_thi3f has made a good suggestion.

Also we do have a thread with advice about this at:

Forums / Treatments, health professionals and therapies / Are you looking for a doctor, therapist or support group?

Perhaps also if you ring our own Help Line on 1300 22 4636 they might be able to suggest people in your area.

It is terribly frustration when despite huge efforts doctors do not measure up. That length of time to wait is terrible.

Croix