Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

It’s never fair

Community Member

At the moment I’m very unwell. I suffer from low iron and right now it’s probably the worst it’s ever been. But nobody cares. Everything is so exhausting and I feel dizzy and like passing out all the time. Sometimes I can’t stop shaking and I start breathing heavy. I work full time and just doing that alone is so hard. But nobody cares. Everyone is still mad at me because I’m not doing good enough. I try and organise dinners I do all the grocery shopping. I do all the washing and I try and clean regularly. But it’s not good enough. Being sick is just and excuse apparently so nobody cares. I should just try harder. I’m so tired of everything but that’s not allowed. I just need to do better. I just need to fix everyone else’s problems while mine don’t matter. It’s not fair. 

9 Replies 9

Community Member

Hi teeBee,


Right away, somebody cares.

Take a minute to sit down and breathe, you are doing more than enough.  You don’t need to do more nor do you need to add more weight to what you are already carrying.


No it’s not fair, so give yourself some time and space as you deserve it!


Community Member

Hello TeaBee,


That sounds truly awful and I have no idea how you're doing so much with so little energy. I admire your willpower and sheer strength.


I assure you the people around you do care, and are probably really concerned with what you're going through.


Have you visited your doctor about this issue? Are you on any supplements or trying to intake more iron via foods?


What you're dealing with sounds unbearable and I'm really impressed with all that you're doing despite how you're feeling. 


You're going above and beyond, and it is good enough. If possible try not to push yourself so hard.


Feel better ❤️

Community Champion
Community Champion



Thank you for sharing your experience here, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been feeling like this. I too have long struggled with low iron and subsequent fatigue, and the fact that you're still doing so much throughout your days is very impressive to me. It feels so overwhelming sometimes, it doesn't feel like I have the energy to do anything.


Sharing my experience here, one of the best things I did for my low iron was to try iron tablets. I had some trouble with the first ones I tried, but I got a prescription for a different type and they work a treat if I take them daily. I'd highly recommend speaking to your GP about your concerns with low iron, exhaustion and dizziness, and they can talk through some solutions with you. I know several people who have also had iron infusions, and they said these have helped too. Personally, I'm afraid of needles, so this is a last resort option for me. Once again, this is something to discuss with your GP.


It's never selfish to look out for your needs and set healthy boundaries. It's important to look after yourself, and if you've been feeling like this for a while, it may also be your body's way of asking you for help. I've learnt to listen to these instincts, they're often meaningful.


Take care, and please let us know how you go.



Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

HI teaBee


I bet if you had someone in your work life or home life who could relate to what low iron levels feel like, they wouldn't be saying 'Try harder'. They'd most likely be saying 'How horrible is it?! It's shocking'. Because no one in your life can relate, they just don't get how hard it is to function in everyday life.


Personally I've never suffered with low iron levels but I can relate to B12 deficiency at depressing and seriously fatiguing levels. I get a few B12 injections a year, to keep my levels up, and can't function without them. While we can physically push through debilitating deficiencies, the side effects of such deficiencies on our mental health are a whole other factor. Both low iron and low B12 levels can be linked to depression and anxiety. While there are certain chemical processes that are attributed to good mental health, when the processes aren't happening to the degree they need to be happening, things can become pretty dark.


One of the things that led me to become one of those mind/body/soul gals is recognition of the fact we can experience a depression based on physical (chemical/biological) influences, mental influences (people bringing us down and/or tormenting inner dialogue etc) and natural influences (such as a depressing lack of inspiration or a lack of feeling some sort of connection to life). Of course, all 3 can be happening at once sometimes. While I'm a bit of a romantic in the way I see life in a soulful kind of way, I'm also someone who sees myself as a big fleshy container of chemical reactions. All the right ones have to be happening for me to be able to feel them. The side effects of all the right ones happening can feel like energy, joy, satisfaction, enthusiasm etc. Get those iron levels up so you can feel the difference. Not sure if your GP's done blood tests or you're sensing an iron deficiency based on past experience. If your GP's done all the tests and has decided on no need for an infusion, I hope they've sent you away with a really solid plan for diet and/or supplementation. To be sent home with no solid plan is just not good enough. You could label this as being sent home to suffer through what you're struggling to tolerate. Don't wait until things become completely intolerable.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi there,


I am sorry to hear you are going through this. As someone with a chronic illness, i can understand this completely. My illness is in remission, but there have been times when i have felt unwell, fatigued, and exhausted and still had to carry on with life. It is exhausting and burns you out. One thing i have also struggled with aside from my illness is incredibly low iron, my doctor was shocked it was so low. The funny thing is, I thought I was fine, I just went in for a routine blood test and it turns out my iron was in the anemic range. I had an iron infusion and that helped me a lot. Is this something you would be open to?


Anyway, low iron sucks, and I think i was so used to be in a state of tiredness and fatigue that i just didn't notice i had any symptoms. I was surprised to hear i had such low iron, because i felt fine. but since my infusion, i have felt SO much better. i hope you can sort it soon ❤️


another thing i have learnt about the world in my chronic illness journey (and my sister's who has the same illness as me), is that the world is ableist. it's not built for anyone that isn't healthy. every day, people with invisible illnesses and conditions go to work exhausted and unwell because they have no sick days left to use, people judge them for staying home all the time, they get a label as the ''sick one'' and some illnesses are embarrassing to admit, so people would rather come to work unwell than be honest with their employer. Similarly, people who are healthy won't understand how it feels to be chronically exhausted and tired, some try, but it's impossible to understand unless you've experienced it. EVERYTHING feels like a chore and requires an extra 20% effort from us than a person who is healthy. it sounds to me that you're doing THE MOST - i mean managing your health, working full time, and managing the household is a lot, and it sounds like you have more than enough on your plate. if i was you, i would explain to your family what's going on and that you would like so more help around the house. people are selfish sometimes, so maybe sharing your perspective might help them to come around. you are doing enough, don't listen to them. 


i hope things improve soon,

jaz xx

Community Member

I’ve been a bit unwell for a while and today I just feel like I’ve finally run out of everything. No energy, no joy, just nothing. Oh except my anxiety and insecurities seem to have more energy than ever. Constantly on edge and I feel like everything is wrong and something bad will happen and all the good things are going to end. Reading it now it’s stupid and I know that when I think it but I can’t stop. I don’t even have the energy to cry. I’ve just got nothing left. 

Community Champion
Community Champion



it is very hard and isolating to go through this. you are not alone, though, just look at all the supportive comments on this thread for you! 🙂


have you considered seeing a professional about these thoughts? especially if you realise they are irrational, but still have them. it might be worth considering.


jaz xx

Community Member

Hi teaBee,


I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. Have you been able to get some treatment for low iron?


I've had anemia a couple of times and it is awful when levels are low, I remember feeling very weak. Rest is important and it could be good to see your gp.


Is there a trusted friend or relative you could reach out to?




Community Member

Thats the thing about being ill when others cant see it. It’s unfair. Im not really well enough atm to give advice but If i can recommend a book called ‘Extreme Self Care’ by Cheryl Richardson. Its worth a look for in the library.