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How do I deal with my social anxiety
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I've been working on my fairly mild social anxiety for a couple of years now and I can relate to all of these posts. It's sort of disappointing when you do all the work, and see improvements but then think, 'why do I still feel SO uncomfortable sometimes around people?' and others find it hard to understand why you're like that and they expect you to talk more.
I definitely think shyness is not accepted very well in our society (maybe in some cultures it is?) even though so many people have it. So I think it's partly self-acceptance. I have actually found it a useful strategy lately, when I'm in a social situation and I can't think of a single thing to say and I get paralysed by it, to say to myself 'it's fine to be quiet, there's nothing wrong with that' (maybe think of a person you like or admire who is quiet) and I strangely I actually find myself talking far more effortlessly then.
I suppose the other thing is that whilst people have always said I'm shy and quite, my family and friends are still around and love me so I must be doing something right/ok! People are accepting. I think it's a combination of keeping on trying to overcome these unrealistic thoughts/beliefs holding us back, as well as learning to just relax and not worry if you're not the same as the louder ones. You can be cool in your own way. That sort of acceptance will give off a more confident vibe perhaps?
However I too get that it's a constant effort to try and overcome this, and I would also appreciate tips to keep it up because sometimes it makes you feel pretty crappy. Is it possible that you can't 100% overcome shyness, just improve? And that perhaps you seem far more improved to other people than you even realise sometimes, but I hate constantly reading peoples faces and feeling uncomfortable and like I want to leave most social situations - even though I enjoy other people's company!
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Oh wow, i think i may also have social anxiety. I am diagnosed GAD but I avoid people at all costs. I dont make phone calls, I have 1 friend I go and see when i feel guilty enough that I havent seen her for a while but otherwise I dont leave the house for social reasons.
Usually if I am at a social function i will be ok for a while and then get this feeling like I have to leave now or something terrible is going to happen (I know the car wont turn into a pumpkin but its a feeling of dread, like I have just embarrassed myself to the point of social death). Other times its exactly as Perkin has just explained, like my mind has decided its just had enough social interaction and refuses to participate anymore, again usually leading me to look for the nearest exit. Most people dont seem to understand why all of a sudden I have to leave so quickly. After a social function i will analyse every conversation I had to make sure I couldnt have offended anyone, and if I am worried that I have I go into a panic.
Even my boss asking me if I want to come for a coffee causes me to get nervous. I think i need to go back to the psych 😞
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hi at joanofarc, so i know what you are going through i go through the same feeling, with friends saying why i dont talk more and feeling really ucomfortable around friends and when i am around friends i might just sit there and listen and wonder why i cant just talk outright like them, and i will think about how different am to everyone else and alone, and i find it hard to talk and strike up a decent conversation with people and it just feels as if my anxiety bubble around me is never going to go away, i will always feel seperated and alone from everyone else.
but then there is also times when my anxiety does not interfere with my life at all and lets me be ME! these places are at my home around my family and relatives and when i am on a camp with people i hardly know...
It also sometimes seems as if my anxiety is only based sometimes on my social and school life and there to create havoc when i want to complete schoolwork at school and have normal conversations with friends at school.
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