Hit a brick wall

[Beyond348]

Hello all, I previously posted here a couple of months ago about my current situation. Since then, I have had a few days where I have been good and have been able to manage my anxiety, but as of late, I have been struggling to get out of the dreaded dark hole of  "doctor google or doctor youtube" and I have self-diagnosed myself with something drastic because my doctor "missed something". There have been times when I would journal but have found it difficult to make journalling a routine to write something good about that day - if that makes sense. I kinda am the person that I would be a listening ear for someone during their hard times, but when it comes to myself, i tend to flick it under the rug and go about my life. I have hit a brick wall.

[sbella02]

Hey, thank you for reaching out again, and I'm sorry to hear that you're still struggling.

I once kept a journal every day for nine years and it ended up being exhausting by the end of it. As someone who is still an avid journaller and now loves it, I've learnt to not make it a routine because I find that for me, it removes the tranquility and peacefulness that makes journalling so effective. It almost brings a sense of dread if you're forcing yourself to do it, rather than allowing it to be there for you as an option for emotional expression. That's my experience, other people may feel differently. Of course, it's great to express gratitude and fantastic to be able to do it daily, but journalling loses its impact if it starts to feel too much like a chore.

Is there anyone in your life who you'd consider to be your listening ear if you're struggling? Reaching out to loved ones who you know will hear you and listen to what you have to say can also be good for expressing pent-up emotions and even receiving advice, because these people likely have good insight into you, your life, and your experiences. 

I'm also prone to self-diagnosis, although I've tried to stop doing this recently. The danger of self-diagnosis and "doctor google" is that you can cause yourself unnecessary distress, and you start to worry about your health in a way that may cause you to trivialise things that may actually be of concern. Perhaps it may also be useful to mention this to your GP, and they may help to either relieve your health anxiety or refer you onto a therapist or psychologist who can help you work through it with professional advice. 

May I ask, have you tried any other techniques for calming your anxiety? Is there anything in particular that works for you on the "good days" as opposed to the worse days, or is it dependent on the day itself?

I hope some of this advice can resonate with you, I've long struggled with health anxiety and I journal, so I'm happy to chat some more with you if you have more you'd like to say.

All the best, SB