Hey, thank you for reaching out, and welcome to the forums. As someone who's also struggled with anxiety since my adolescence, what you're feeling sounds familiar to me.
I noticed that you've called them silly thoughts, which I think is a good mindset to be in. Obviously when we're in the heat of our anxiety, these "silly thoughts" feel like the most pressing and important thing in the world. You seem to recognise the fact that there's an element of irrationality to anxiety, which I feel takes some of the sting out of experiencing anxious thoughts.
Do you happen to know what triggers your anxiety at all? Is there any situation that you've noticed your anxiety comes about in more than others, or is it fairly general? If you're not quite sure, you could start keeping a journal to track when you're feeling anxious. Or if you haven't already, try having a chat with a professional such as a GP, therapist, or psychologist. They may be able to give you some great advice as well, things that you may not have even considered.
Motivation is a difficult one, because I feel like there's often a misconception that motivation comes to us sporadically. I've realised that motivation generally comes after action. Let's say that there's a written project that you're working on, and you give yourself the task of writing 10 words of it a day. You'll often find that the motivation to exceed that 10 words will come when you're sitting down and have started a sentence. You'll start off trying to reach those 10 words and realise that there's more you want to say, so you write more, and eventually you've written a whole paragraph. That's a fairly random example, but motivation works well when we've set ourselves a goal that feels overly simple or very achievable, such that exceeding this goal feels like an accomplishment.
I hope some of this advice resonates with you, feel free to keep chatting with us, we're here to support you. I know that there are lots of people on the forums who can relate to what you're feeling and would be willing to give you some recommendations of what has worked for them in the past as well.
All the best, SB
