High functioning anxious people.

[Pixie15]

I am not sure why I am writing this.

Maybe because I am a high functioning anxious person. It is something I can do when I feel that something needs to be done.

I would like to hear from other high functioning anxious people.

How do you cope? How do you deal with the need to do something when there is nothing to be done.

[Traveller73]

My dr said I was high functioning. I work at a University and the Drs medical practice is on site. He said quite alot of people in academia suffer anxiety, we are all perfectionists. In fact, there is ONE advantage of anxiety- that you are well organised! You have already thought through every possibility. Interesting hey! He said alot in academia cover it up, so all those lecturers etc you think have it all together, probably don't!

[Pixie15]

Hello Traveller73,

I wish I had the sort of mind which could think of every possibility. I tend to rush in in a muddle and then I have to try and think of every possibility to get myself out or through depending on wether it is something I really want to do or not. I think this can make my anxious behaviors more obvious to other people but I am not sure I am right about that.

Cheers.

[Moonstruck]

Just an update Pixie - my work was scheduled to be over for the year, finished last Friday. Boss extended to this coming Friday, 23rd. I have given him all my work earlier, he knows I have minor routine surgery Wed, so not available that day, and will not be feeling well the thurs, Fri. this has not fazed him at all.

He has already begun lining things up to do at this last minute - giving me more tasks, potential clients to ring etc. (no one is interested at this time of year, they're all under stress but still I have to make these calls to them).

this current weekend, no matter that it's a Sat and Sun...I am still emailed with questions, help him make decisions, my opinions on things etc etc etc. I have realised he is like a vampire, and sucking me dry. I go into anxiety stress mode as soon as I hear his voice on the phone!! i expected to be "free" from last Friday...now I have a mega-stressed week ahead of me, plus my surgery, which just does not seem to have any effect on him at all - he depends on me totally, there is no one else to take my place or do his bidding.

As I told you a few weeks back, I have told him next year is my last on the job....I am SO tempted to make it this year instead. I have nothing more to give.....work has made this lead up to Christmas that much WORSE. I don't think I can cope.

[Pixie15]

Hello Moonstruck,

Hope your surgery went well and you are recovering okay. It is really hard to change things which have become habitual. You know you can put an automatic reply up on your email don't you. You do not have to respond on the weekend. If your boss needs you so much you probably have the upper hand even if you are too nice to use it.

Getting near the 23 now and I hope you manage to have the break you wanted over Christmas.

[MatildaW]

OMIGOD!!! You've just described me!!

I've only just signed up to these forums but I'm reading through this thinking I'm not the only one!!!

I have had anxiety for 20 odd years, and have only just become able to talk about it. I had even hid it from my husband for 10 years. I am the person that nobody believes has anxiety... "it's not possible! You're always calm and in control". The person people come to to have their problems solved etc. Always stay calm in a crisis. YET I can have panic attacks about travelling too far from home and in crowded places. On the outside I have it all going for me, but on the inside I'm at times a wreck! Often worrying I'm not doing a good job (even though I've always achieved high), or that friends aren't happy with me, or over analyse every text and conversation. It's draining!

I have always found the best way to deal with it was to stay busy. OVER busy. But then this eventually leads to anxiety.

aaarrrgggghh!

[Moonstruck]

Yes I get you Matilda W.......I've listened to myself sometimes on the phone, or chatting to someone in person...as i am walking away I ask myself "Who WAS that person? That friendly, confident, witty, delightful, pleasant, really together person talking just now???"....Cos it sure as hell wasn't me! I could be having the most ghastly day, really depressed, wracked with anxiety and fear and this "other person's voice" comes out and masks it all.

And there is at least one person who believes you....I believe you - hoping we can talk again...take care.

[Pixie15]

Hi,

Yeah think I get this too. Because I am socially shy but I appear all together ok I have had it suggested that I might be a bit above myself. If I was less socially shy I might have the ability to defend myself. Always just wanted to be "normal' and fit into the world.

Currently have been on a medication to help with my social anxiety and finding it is not really helpful so am stopping that and concentrating on the other things like CBT tools and meditation and exercise to get me through. I must have been in a bit of a fog when I agreed to the medication because if I had done the usual amount of research I would never have agreed to it given what I know now.

Anyway just wondering if I am the only one. Although I find it a bit saddening to hear that others have the same issues...

[Pixie15]

Hi,

Just updating how I am going.

I really have any serious side effects yet that I can tell which is good although the it might take a few days.

I will keep updating anyway.

Seems the least a high functioning anxious person might do to contribute to the forums.

[Moonstruck]

Hi Pixie - sending good wishes for 2017. I am still high functioning (at least outwardly) still anxious..which one will win out? now there's an anxiety-ridden thought to have. I just can't seem to beat it - I read, I listen to tapes, I try to be mindful and meditate for some time out. I try to lecture myself, walk, breathe,

Even when I am not working (as at present) the anxiety is still there. I can't grasp the fact that I don't have to please everyone all the time. I am constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure I am not disappointing or falling short of.....falling short of what????? Others expectations? e.g. I am considering posting a new thread on anxiety..but I am even anxious about that!! How will I word it? Will I just be repeating myself about the same sort of issue I posted before?

Will the BB moderators think it's stupid or too worrying to put up? Are other members sick of hearing about my problems?. What if my letter is "not good enough?" What if my problem is too trivial? This is hell.

[Pixie15]

Hello Moonstruck, Hope you wont be offended but I had a chuckle when I read your post. The anxiety got the better of me (or not I will never know) today and I am back on my meds. Have decided not to do anything till I have another chat with my doctor. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.