High functioning anxiety in nursing just crippling, please help

[Bee71]

Gathering the courage to write this and seek help has taken me over a year. I am a new grad registered nurse (RN). I changed careers to fulfill a lifelong dream and graduated with most units marked as high distinction. The scope of practice and responsibilities of an RN are huge, and as a student during pracs I started to develop anxiety, manifested as dizzy spells, nausea, sweats, shortness of breath, insomnia and tachycardia, which was relieved by deep breathing, aromatherapy, exercise (whenever possible) and attempts at meditation.

Unfortunately my anxiety is getting worse and my attempts at controlling it are failing.

I just got a new job and my induction week was nothing short of horrendous. I felt overwhelmed resulting in being unable to remember simple instructions given 5 minutes prior!, and becoming “blank” when performing routine procedures. My behaviour was so obvious, I needed constant prompting from my colleague. Next week I will be on my own and I am already thinking that I will not cope. Nursing positions for grads are highly competitive this days and I wax extremely lucky to get a job. The funny thing is that people that meet me think I am calm, collected, capable and knowledgable... no one really knows the hell I am going through.

I confided to my GP my symptoms over a year ago and she suggested that I possibly had “high functioning anxiety”, she sent me to a psychologist whom to be honest wasn’t helpful...after asking for my symptoms she gave me some internet printouts from Google about mindfulness. I haven’t taken any anxiolytics or antidepressants just yet but I am at breaking point and will consider anything. I have made another GP app.

I would like some advice from the community about this issue. Thank you in advance. 🤯

[sadvet]

Hi Bee,

It's great that you are seeking help! Better late than never I believe. I'm actually a new grad vet myself, and I have experienced (and am experiencing) very similar issues at school and at my new work place (except I didn't get high distinctions for my units haha). Work is such a different environment from school, and the medical field has its own stressors since lives are involved, and we are responsible for them.

Unfortunately since I am still figuring things out myself (and battling with a toxic boss), I can't really provide useful advice. Although, it might be a good idea to find another psychologist since the one you have doesn't sound too helpful at all. I have started counselling sessions too, and I think having a psychologist who listens to you is really important and really makes a difference.

Have you talked to family and friends about what you are going through? I do find that ranting to them helps relieve my anxiety a bit, and it is good to know that they have your back. But it is good to make sure you don't overdo it as well, since talking about it too much could just make you feel worse. Would you also share with your colleagues about how you are feeling? I do that to those that I'm comfortable with sometimes, and they are usually encouraging which can help you get through the day.

You can also chat with me about how your days went 🙂 I check the forums at least once a day, so I'm happy to hear about your concerns on a regular basis, and we can find ways to relieve ourselves of these negative experiences together.

Take care!

[Bee71]

Thank you so very much for replying.

Having gone through complete denial, I am now at the stage of acceptance that I suffer from anxiety. Tomorrow I will begin the process of management.

I haven’t told anybody about how I feel, but will try again with a diff psychologist and will see what happens.

I will write another post after seeing the GP tomorrow, this torum is my very first attempt at venting and ... once again thank you for your support.

[Bee71]

Went to GP today. Booked a Psychologist and have my first session on the 20/5.

In the meantime I will try to do even a short session of meditation daily, I have the “Insight Timer” app which is good for meditation sessions. Many of the sessions are free.

[sadvet]

Sorry for the late reply, but that's great news! I hope the GP session was helpful. Just know that you always have options for working things out, and ultimately your mental well-being and health is of utmost importance.

How do you find the app so far?

[SJ17]

Hi Bee71,

I am also a nurse 5 years out. I just want to say that feeling anxious as a new nurse is normal and i promise it gets better! I understand that some people get it much worse than others, im sorry that your experiencing this!
Firstly, dont doubt your abilities. You got this job over so many other people and you absolutely have what it takes. Dont expect to be an expert as a new grad. EVERYONE is always learning. I still ask questions everyday. I remember crying in my first week as i thought i wasnt good enough and i too past all my exams with the top results. Just remember you may take a little longer to complete tasks or perform assessments etc but thats ok!

Do you have a good manager? Chat with them if you can! I recently went to mine and cried in her office as i was having some anxiety. She was amazing and offered me support. I feel its best to at least let them know then they can check in on you.

Ive also recently found meditation and honestly believe everyone should do it! It is amazing. So keep up with that!

Nursing isnt an easy job. If you are not in the profession then you dont understand the pressure and responsibilitym it is so much more than what people think. It a job where you give so much to others so another thing i would advise is do something for yourself everyday. Look after you. Otherwise it gets exhausting. Dont forget to ask for help with your fellow colleagues - delegate! Im sure you are doing better than you think you are. Keep your chin up, ask for help and tell yourself you are amazing. Because you are and you wouldnt have gotten the job if you werent. The start of a grad year is always hard, dont put so much pressure on yourself. You will be ok 🙂

[Guest_2496]

Hi Bee

Just read your post and just a quick reply - haves you tried the headspace app? I find their short meditations great. There’s a three minute one called panic for when you need quick help. Just thought this might help while waiting for the psych appt.

[pvroom]

I also second what SJ17 said about your manager. Your workplace has to look after you and you cannot be fired for talking to them about how you are feeling. They employed you because you are capable but the expectations may be a bit too much. I'm in my mid 30's so more established in my career but I can remember those early years, it's like starting a new job but also it's your first job in your new field. I also wonder if you feel you are a bit of a perfectionist (given the HD marks) and perhaps you could try to consider whether your standards of yourself are too high. I am a recovering perfectionist and honesty it's very damaging to do that to yourself. If you can nip it in the bud early then maybe it will be easier long term. I know you said it's a change of career but not sure what stage of life you are at. Do you have children or anything like that? Remember you are in the deep end right now *hugs*

[Powerful_mind]

Hey Bee71!

I don’t really have any useful advice but I want you to know your not alone. I just graduated from my social work degree... jumped into an extremely challenging role straight away and from that went to a job that’s even more high pressured then the last! I’m the same I feel my anxieties overwhelming me to the point that I feel too sick to eat, I forget the most simple tasks. This leaves me stressed and basically useless. I get compliments and reassurance on my work but I know my supervisor can’t keep reassuring me for the rest of my career! Hopefully we find something soon. I feel as though I want to accept my anxiety but I’m not at that stage yet and feel as though I’m still in denial! I think roles like the ones we do are so important that we can’t value ourselves enough and remember to look after ourselves and be kind to ourselves that we are only knew to these roles!