Health Anxiety - Please Help

[KCas]

Hi,

My name is Kylie, I'm a new mum to a beautiful 5 month old son. I have a severe health anxiety that I guess has been happening for at least 5 years now. 5 Years ago I convinced myself I had HIV at the time I wasn't married and was a single social young woman. The reason I convinced myself of this was I had all the symptoms and was deep in fear. After numerous tests and visits to many different Dr's the conclusion  was I was suffering from Fibromyalgia Syndrom and was put on anti-anxiety medication.  I finally accepted this diagnoses after a while, settled down and continued with my life. I married a few years later and after a long and enduring battle will infertility, IVF over the last 3 years I finally gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in November last year. Since his birth I have been feeling not right (was put down to Post Natal Depression) severely fatigued and started experiencing weird physical symptoms. I'm scared of everything health related and since his birth have convinced myself that I have numerous conditions because of these symptoms! Thyroid issues, Adrenal Fatigue and most recently MS. I've been to 3-4 Dr's who have done extensive blood tests, glucose testing, heart monitoring and I've even have had an MRI on my brain which was normal but I still can't put this to bed and feel re-assured. I still constantly worry I have MS and I feel like I'm going insane and my husband and family are completely sick of hearing me whinge daily about these physical symptoms and about me seeing numerous Dr's and believe it's all in my head. Can anyone else relate to this at all?. I feel like a completely sane intelligent person but I'm now worried if they all think I'm clearly insane then maybe I actually am!. After my recent brain scan I felt re-assured for a period of 3 hours and was so very happy then I started thinking about what could have been missed, should the Dr have done further testing? Why am I still having symptoms? and now I'm back at square one again. My physical symptoms are: weakness in my legs (like I can't walk properly), numbness on the left hand side of my body that comes and goes, number throat that comes and goes, thinking I can't breath during sleep and waking up gasping, feeling wobby/ dizzy, crying and depression, sore spine, feeling foggy like I can't concentrate on anything and feeling like I'm in a daze. My husband refuses to let me see any further Dr's or have further testing. He thinks I might be suffering with Somatization/ Conversion Disorder. Is anyone else out there suffering the same as me or has in the past. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I have started back on anti-anxiety medication again and hoping that will help and I am starting to see a therapist. I just wish these symptoms would go and I could focus on my life as a mummy as I've waited so long for this.

Thankyou

[Technogurl]

Hi KCaz and Anon

Sorry to hear of your struggles.

I have just recently read a book that may be of interest to you. It is The Wahls Protocol, written by Dr Terry Whals who was diagnosed with MS and she researched extensively what her body needed to recover from this and this resulted in her finding a cure for herself by feeding herself a particular diet, mostly of vegetables, some protein and healthy fats. She explains it all in her book and if you google her name you can listen to her TedTalk where she tells her story. It is a very interesting read.

I hope this is of some help.

Technogurl

[Technogurl]

Hi Kimberlee82

You might find it interesting and of some benefit to look into TRE which stands for Trauma Release Exercises. It is a simple set of exercises which assist the body to let go of stored trauma and stress.

I have been to a couple of sessions and I found it extremely beneficial for my anxiety and stress.

Technogurl

[Meeper]

Hey Kylie,

When I was a kid I used to think every school holidays that I must have cancer  I guess all the free time let my mind get carried away with health anxiety on top of all my other anxiety (general, social, panic). I'm sure the physical symptoms were all anxiety related but I would sit there stressing out every time thinking I had to be really sick and I had to do something. It was really difficult to understand because I was never a sickly kid and I hadn't seen serious illness in my family either  it's only since I've grown up that I realise what was going on  its just something our brain throws at us. Have you tried diffusion techniques (from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) like Naming Your Stories? That's what I'm working with at the moment. My health is so poor from food-related anxiety tipping me into an eating disorder, I get all sorts of uncomfortable symptoms and it freaks me out all the time. When the thoughts come up that I must be critically ill (like if I'm dizzy cause I'm excessively tired) I thank my mind for looking out for me and I think to myself 'ah, that's the deadly illness story again'. It lessens the grip of the thoughts after a bit of practice. 

[Rj_40]

Hi all,

its very reassuring to see people have similar feelings!

im having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I may have anxiety! I'm married with 2 beautiful kids and I'm in the medical profession. I feel like I should be better than this,like I should be the strong one! 

Im sore all over and get short of breath..I have digestive problems all the time and fatigued all the time! I worry I have cancer of some sort! My dad was diagnosed with myloid lymphoma and am too concerned to see my local doc for the fear that he'll tell me I have it too! And I feel so stupid while I write this! I'm aware that I shouldn't be obsessing but can't switch off! 

I am too proud to take medications and too stubborn to go to a psychologist(have been once)..

this is the first time I have ever posted anything like this! So I guess maybe it's a start! 

Thanks to anyone that reads this! It's nice to know I'm not alone! 

[Coggles]

Hi rj 40

it is very reassuring as it means you don't just think you are the only one anymore and can now see that a lot can happen from your mind.

over the years and since getting anxiety I have found it isn't just a bug or virus that you can shake off but it does show how powerful or minds are. It is like my psych told me that majority of people see mental health as just a "it's all in your head thing" which many doctors will tell you. But as psych will say especially is that it is psychosomatic which is that the feeling it really there but it is your mind magnifying it that makes it worse. Like looking hard at something your focus zooms in on it. So when a slight change in breathe and your mind is telling you you have a shortness of breathe it can get worse and worse as well as you focus in on it. 

Crazy isn't it. i for one thought I was the strong one until recent events and I think that maybe the worse part of it. It makes you feel low when you can't control it. 

Don't feel bad reaching out when you think you need help as there are plenty that are willing to. Many who have been through similar things you have.

as for medications it is your choice how to manage it as I for one don't want to go on and heavy drugs for it. There are other natural ways. As incense can help calm the mind and soul a little to help you think or even music you like listening to. It all comes down to how you would like to approach it. Talking to someone or even here helps and you are right it is a start and a good start at that

 try and think positive and I am sure you will overcome it.

[HelenM]

Hi,  my problem is similar but different. Over many years I've come through depression. The first few years were traumatising. Now it 's very mild but comes back as fear. The bottom line of every fear is that ilol become very ill again. After a few months it eased,  but a friend took his life in July and it, 's come back.  I believe my mental illness has changed from depression to this.  I can think I ve got cancer, and my mind says I can't deal  with that and I ll go into a severe depression. I would say I ve been traumatised by my depression and can truthfully say I'd rather die than go there again. I know my mind is playing games but because its possible I can't rest. 

[LaLeonessa]

Hi Kylie,

I feel you. I have had HA on and off since I was a child, and it's flared up again now. I've just been traveling in Southeast Asia and got a scratch from a cat. Despite the anti-rabies vaccines, I've worried that I'm going to catch rabies or rabies-like symptoms from the vaccines, that I'm going to be one of the 3% of people that get anaphylaxis from the vaccine, that I actually have meningitis because I had a rash that only faded slightly when I pressed it... it would be ridiculous if it wasn't so exhausting. My partner gets frustrated with me always going to the hospital and not being reassured by the doctors anyway, but I know deep down he cares and wants to help. He was the one who introduced me to mindfulness for the first time. As previous commenters have mentioned, mindfulness-based cognitive behaviour therapy, Yoga and meditation, staying very busy, surrounding myself with supportive friends and family, and always having something to look forward to have helped me. I hope some of these things can help you too and that you can find a doctor who's sympathetic. It can seem very difficult to find one, but they are out there. Peace and love to you and your family!