Health Anxiety is ruining my life

[AMMoverthinking]

I have always had anxiety. As a little kid I would have panic attacks if we drove across the Westgate Bridge certain it was going to break and we would plummet to our deaths. When their was a black out I was certain someone was going to break in and kills is etc.

After having my children my anxiety ramped up. I am constantly certain I have one health disease or another and I become fixated on it and really depressed. Once I go and get it checked and get the all clear I am fine for a little while until I start to fixate on something else. I’m currently convinced I have breast cancer. I didn’t sleep. I now can’t eat and have to go to work soon and pretend everything is okay when really I just want to curl up into a ball abs cry.

I finally got the courage to mention it to my doctor last year but be wasted me to see a psych. I also have social anxiety so speaking to a stranger opens a whole over can of worms for me.

my biggest fear stems from leaving my children and not getting to see the grow up. So when I’m like this even seeing my children will upset me.

I have a doctors apt this afternoon but my regular doctor was away so now I need to see a stranger 😬. Plus I know she’ll probably just want to send me for an ultrasound so that’s another day or so wait for that. I do already have dense breast tissue found the last time I was convinced I had breast cancer so my boobs already feel different so I can’t even calm myself down this time. I’m just so panicked today m.

[AMMoverthinking]

And here I am again 😩

I started a medication Tuesday. I started to get really jittery, nervous etc. I couldn’t sleep. Took the same dose Wednesday. Got even worse. Thursday I took a half dose. I started getting phantom smells of smoke and my right eye is a big blurry. Still jittery and nervous. didn’t take it today.

Spoke to the doctor today to fill in a mental health plan. Told her I had stopped the meds. Didn’t mention the phantom smells, headache and vision and now I’ve convinced myself I have brain cancer. I am also waking up with pins and needles. All can be signs of brain cancer. I am so mentally exhausted from contantly going round in these circles.

I hope everyone else is doing well. Especially those forced back into lockdown.

[Meg_611]

Hi 🙂

I tried anti- depressants once

I took one tablet at night and the next morning I woke up completely wired and clenching my jaw I felt completely out of it! I didn’t take anymore! I am really sensitive to caffeine, sugar and medication!
Do you find you are too?
Perhaps you could get a new script for an even lower dose ? I’m sure there is a way to start smaller.
Have you had a look at the book by Dr Claire Weekes yet? Honestly after feeling terrible for a year it has helped me tremendously.

She talks about how we can so easily become trapped in a fear-adrenaline-fear cycle.
Something happens one day we get scared our body releases adrenaline and we become trapped in this highly sensitised state. So the mental stress we are going through actually turns into real life physical symptoms but they are caused by the nervous system being all heightened and over-working.
When I look back on the symptoms I had last year it was definitely this that was happening to me. I had a sore left eye that hurt when I looked upwards, brain zaps, weird muscles spasms, very sensitive hearing and easily startled, so many random things!
I still had every test under the sun and it did help to put my mind at ease but then the symptom would just move to another part of my body!!! Wtf brain!

i definitely recommend the book

Get checked out if you need to. But for me, the waiting room anxiety I used to get before tests (Daunting tests like brain mri and heart ultrasounds) and then the waiting for the test results only compounded my anxiety and worsened my symptoms.

[AMMoverthinking]

I did take a quick look at the book. I’ll need to Download it and read it properly.

The phantom smells are what scare me the most. I had them a few months ago paired with a headache that wouldn’t go away during a particularly bad stage of panic attacks and now they’re back. The fact that they only occur during stages of really bad anxiety should calm me but it doesn’t.

I definitely got the jaw clenching with this medication. Was in a State of panic the whole time. I only took it for three days. Wonder how long till it wears off.

I’m going to call and make and appointment with A psych on Monday. Hopefully they can do a Telecall as I’m in a fringe suburb and with lockdowns and checkpoints it’s a pain to go anywhere.

[AMMoverthinking]

Finally worked myself up to seeing a psych. I’m doing the ones that are fully covered as covid-19 has affected our finances. Missed their call because I was at work. She left a number. Turned out it was their fax. Called them back on my break. A man answered and seemed confused, put the phone down (not on hold) and started talking with someone else. Eventually came back and said they’d already made me an appointment but couldn’t tell me when as their computer was down. That already annoyed me. I work full time in a suburb an hour away. You can’t just give me an appointment. Said they’d call back and didn’t. I called two days later and they didn’t pick up but found out that they’re only open on days I can’t make anyway. I’ve lost all hope with this company but they already have my mental health plan.

😩

[Meg_611]

What a pain !! especially after feeling brave and doing it!

you can change provider you just have to get your gp to send some form to the new psych. Or perhaps you can ring around to some and find out their opening hours and wait times and then get your gp to refer you to that one specifically

[Heart1]

Hi everyone - I am new here but reading some of these posts are like you guys are in my head. Long story as to how I got here but the long and short is that I am really super conscious of my health and how my heart behaves - and of late its started to really have an impact on my life. I have suffered from panic attacks in the past - but I think I have finally started to get a hold on those because I totally recognise the signs and know that the symptoms ARE panic related and not physical health. Mainly the feeling of "tingly gloves"...as soon as I feel my hands begin to tingle, I know its on and I know that if I just find somewhere to sit quietly and breathe deeply for a bit it WILL abate. When I first reported that symptom to my GP she did an MRI to test for MS - because I didn't even know what a panic attack WAS back then! It happens every time - and I have recovered every time so I know what it is - but it doesn't stop them from happening. I am 45 years old and pretty fit - I ride at least 120ks a week in and out of work and my husband and I will do additional big rides on the weekends when we can. Yet my resting pulse is mid 70's at best and the simple act of standing up and walking around the house can kick it up to 120 / 130. Even during sleep it doesn't get a rest. It pounds through my chest, neck, stomach - everywhere - I can't escape it so I always know its working too hard. I have had all the tests - everything looks fine and all the usual suspects for a high heart rate are confirmed ok so I am at a loss because I am sure this is not right. I have stopped riding because I am petrified that putting REAL pressure on my heart will be damaging it given how high it goes with hardly any exertion. Everything you read suggests that your heart rate is the best indictor of your health - and those with an elevated RHR are at risk for heart disease, stroke etc. The only suggestions are...exercise more to condition your heart - which is what I have been doing for god knows how long already and its just getting worse. I wish I knew how to switch it off....so I think its a real possibility that my stress levels over this are the cause behind it.

It is a real comfort to know there are others out there that feel the same...and I really look forward to seeing further posts from you guys that show that things are improving. I think given we know what its like to be in this slump, we are probably the best people to share improvements and insights x

[AMMoverthinking]

Thanks. I thought I’d be stuck. Might call my GP and see if I can change.

[AMMoverthinking]

My heart is exactly the same. Had every tear under the sun TWICE and they says it’s fine and anxiety related. It actually got pretty good last year but this year I had to stop going to the gym due to returning to work full time and covid-19.

[Heart1]

Ok, I'm sure it's anxiety related then. I just need to work out how to get it under control. Just as I think I have a chance at it, now I've got this awful sour taste in my mouth that's been lingering for three days and makes me feel like throwing up 🙄🙄. Honestly it's just one thing at another....

I really hope you can get your appointment soon AMMoverthinking. Keep us posted xx

[AMMoverthinking]

Thank you. I’ve had the weird taste in my mouth too. Honestly if it wasn’t so all consuming and scary it would be funny. The symptoms vary so greatly and seem to never end.

Last year when I was still able to go to the gym I did a lot of High Intensity classes and my heart was always fine. I held off a long time on doing it as I too was afraid my heart couldn’t take it.

Last night I downloaded the eBook version of Living with It: A survivors Guide to Overcoming Panic and Anxiety. It has actually been really good and only an hour. I think I’ll listen to it a few more times before returning it. I’ve tried other books but they’ve been so long I haven’t had the chance to listen to them. As a full time working mum I don’t have that much time to listen to an eBook or read. Probably also part of my anxiety problem. Not having enough me time.

have a great day everyone and stay positive.