Health Anxiety is ruining my life

[AMMoverthinking]

I have always had anxiety. As a little kid I would have panic attacks if we drove across the Westgate Bridge certain it was going to break and we would plummet to our deaths. When their was a black out I was certain someone was going to break in and kills is etc.

After having my children my anxiety ramped up. I am constantly certain I have one health disease or another and I become fixated on it and really depressed. Once I go and get it checked and get the all clear I am fine for a little while until I start to fixate on something else. I’m currently convinced I have breast cancer. I didn’t sleep. I now can’t eat and have to go to work soon and pretend everything is okay when really I just want to curl up into a ball abs cry.

I finally got the courage to mention it to my doctor last year but be wasted me to see a psych. I also have social anxiety so speaking to a stranger opens a whole over can of worms for me.

my biggest fear stems from leaving my children and not getting to see the grow up. So when I’m like this even seeing my children will upset me.

I have a doctors apt this afternoon but my regular doctor was away so now I need to see a stranger 😬. Plus I know she’ll probably just want to send me for an ultrasound so that’s another day or so wait for that. I do already have dense breast tissue found the last time I was convinced I had breast cancer so my boobs already feel different so I can’t even calm myself down this time. I’m just so panicked today m.

[Marto9014]

Thats no good that you're struggling- if its any comfort so am I! Having an MRI next week and it feels like forever away. Like I said, anxiety can manifest itself in so many different ways but its hard not to assume the worst possible outcome.

Agree re the fatigue too. Anxiety is taxing! Hope you find some comfort in knowing that these are all very likely anxiety symptons. These boards are great for seeing that other people have the same thing happening.

Hope you start feeling better

[IMiss_Me]

Hi AMMoverthinking.. This is my first post on this forum and I really feel for you with your symptoms. I can totally understand where you are coming from. I feel like the best thing we can do is to get reassurance. If there is something sinister going on, early intervention is so important, so being in touch with your body could save your life... but remember in most circumstances we think it's the worst case scenario when in fact there is simple explanation for the symptom. I wish I would heed my own advice.

I've also been going through a bout of anxiety.. I didn't realise it was something I had until a doctor informed me a lot of my symptoms was a textbook case for anxiety. I also had a nerve feeling in my arm which she suggested was from the tension in my neck pressing on the nerves and causing that feeling. Made sense.. but then I started getting other symptoms, the latest being intermittent blocked ears and a waive of nauseau.. I suddenly thought I had a brain tumour. My doctor assured me this was not the case as my blood results were perfect and that it can also be caused by anxiety. My doctor gave me some peace of mind saying if you did have a brain tumour, your bloods would have shown something amiss in your results.

To give you some more peace of mind, you are not alone. the numbness, the tingling, the tension, pain and shaking are all your bodies way of dealing with the stress your mind is putting it under. I read an article that explained anxiety.. it might help you too "when your mind worries, it puts the body into flight or fight mode. when in fight mode it sends blood to the important areas, heart, organs etc. This can cause a tingling feeling in your body because the blood is not circulating to those areas like it normally would. The overload of blood/adrenalin to the heart can cause pulpitations and increased heart rate. It then becomes a vicious cycle of anxiety vs symptoms. I had a misdiagnosis of RRV 2.5years ago and now I'm left wondering what it was and if it's caused permanent damage. Im waiting to see a rheumatologist to explain weird muscle and joint aches, but in the meantime my mind and body is playing tricks on me.. I totally know how you are feeling. It's dibilitating and makes you question what is real and what is not. Night time for me is the worst, but I'm booked in to see a counsellor so hopefully that will help to put in place some action to deal with these thoughts. I hope you find some relief in your results also.

[jemma09]

Hi there AMMoverthinking

Thank you for sharing what you are going through. It sounds like you are having a tough time. Health anxiety can be so exhausting for both the body and the mind. I get health anxiety too and I understand what you are going through. It can really hard to try to reassure ourselves or keep our mind off of our symptoms/feelings. The problem with Doctor Google is it tends to suggest not so nice things to us.

So, let's look at a positive here. You have already seen your doctor, which is great! Good on you for speaking with someone you can trust. Doctors have the medical knowledge and training to make sure you are okay. They also know you as a person and your history (compared to Google which is not individualised). As you said, your bloods have come back okay which is a great first step. 🙂

Is there anything that you find helps ease your health anxiety or symptoms? For example: there are apps that can talk you through breathing exercises, mindfulness or even imagining a relaxing place. One is called 'smiling mind'.

I hope you can find some comfort and you start to feel better. All the best and stay safe! 🙂

[jemma09]

Hi Matro9014

Just saw your reply and want to wish you all the best with your MRI. Good on you for advocating for your health and making sure you are okay. I understand it can be tough waiting to get a procedure and receive the results. That was me a couple months ago. If you like - ask if they have music at the MRI, I found it quite relaxing to have something nice to listen to.

We are here if you need to talk or of load any concerns.

Stay safe and be kind to yourself 🙂

[AMMoverthinking]

Thanks all.

Despite being immunocompromised I returned to work (teaching) as my students needed me and I realised that the isolation and stress from all that wasn’t helping.

My doctor didn’t do too much to calm my mind though. Everything I raised he said, ‘it’s unlikely but could be...’ not what I needed to hear.

Anyway the trembling has stopped or at least not happening as frequently. Still obsessing over my health and it’s so draining.

I’m now obsessing over inflammatory breast cancer. I had a breast ultrasound only a month ago but google says that doesn’t catch IBC. It’s just so draining that my brain looks for anything to obsess over.

anyway I just needed to get that down.

[Meg_611]

Hi there,

i can relate so so so much.
I have been suffering with so many odd symptoms over the past years, have had all the tests you can think of: brain mri, chest, abdomen and pelvis ct, breast ultrasound, lung capacity test, endoscopy, colonoscopy, echo cardio gram, stress test And while a few bits and pieces were found ( all okay and manageable) I found no answers to my symptoms. So I’m at a crossroads- have I got nothing and this really is all anxiety, or have they missed something?
when I read through other people’s posts is easy for to relate and from an outsiders views think ‘that’s classic (health) anxiety’ but it’s so hard to apply the same logic to myself!!

i saw a few people of here mention a book by Dr Claire Weekes called complete self help for your nerves. I am about 1/3 of the way through it and it has helped me a lot!! I definitely recommend it. She talks about being trapped in a fear-adrenal—fear cycle which I definitely have been for the last year ... I hope I can break free

[maccaz]

What kind of symptoms do you get? I will have a look at that book too!

[Meg_611]

For about 6-8 months I was

lightheaded, dizzy, muscles spasms on weird areas like top of my boob, back of shoulder, side of thigh, little brain zaps in my head, lots of pressure build up on my head especially upon standing, felt funny sleeping on my right side - made me feel dizzy, headaches, dry sensitive to sudden sounds- I would get startled and it made be feel wobbly in the head, tight throat/lump in throat, ear pressure, pressure behind eyes. Pain under ribs. So many symptoms- Not all at once - they jumped around my body !

that book is online for download and there are YouTube videos too x

[AMMoverthinking]

Thanks I’ll look the book up.

I get bad mastalgia and that sets my mind spinning. I had a breast ultrasound only last month but the mastalgia is back so the anxiety kicks in again. One breast is bigger than the other which as I said has me freaked out about IBC. Hubby says they haven’t changed and I’ve read it’s common for one to be bigger than the other but of course that does nothing to lessen the anxiety. I know I have dense breast tissue and the left is worse than the right (also the bigger boob) so that continues to freak me out. Online says if one feels more dense than the other to investigate. I literally just have had that done but again my mind just spins with all the negatives. I hate that I can’t control it.

When I get like this I struggle to be a good mum. I just don’t want to do anything. Don’t feel like cooking, eating, any of it.

[Meg_611]

It’s SOOO hard not to google , but try really hard to distract yourself and prolong doing it. Even if you say to yourself okay I’ll let myself google it tomorrow- you might feel better tomorrow.

i have lump boobs and so it’s hard to know what’s a normal lump and what isn’t. I was also getting some pain and kept poking and prodding which made the pain worse ! The sonographer was amazing and explained how breast tissue changes as you age (I’m 36) and she found no areas of concern so that put my mind at ease.
Have you spoken to a counsellor etc about your anxiety?

I have quite a few times and it is really helpful.
have you tried any of the meditation apps like headspace?