Hardest day of my life

[Shemila]

Today has been such a struggle, the last time I felt even close to how bad I feel today was 4 years ago. I live at home in my parents but I just took a job interstate. I drove here over 3 days with my dad and today was the day he went home. I have never been alone before and had my worst panic attack ever where my fingers went numb and my legs were shaking. I spoke to my managers and they said they would write up a support plan for me but at this point I just want to go home. If I do leave though I know I'll regret not trying it out and I'll hate myself. Nothing can be worse to how I'm feeling now. At this point I'm going to start my training tomorrow and see how It goes, I just dont want to quit before giving myself a chance to settle in. I don't know what to do but right now I feel absolutely awful

[Beeee]

Hello Shemila,

Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry to read about how you're feeling.

Making the leap to move interstate is a big deal and just this alone shows your courage. Being alone for the first time, a panic attack is understandable and I hope you're feeling better now. I think seeing how your training goes tomorrow is a great idea. Take each day at a time, give yourself a chance, and if after 1 week or even 6 months, you're still unhappy, you can always move back home.

Take some deep breaths and take each moment as it comes.

Good luck.

Beeee

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Shemila,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums...

I am so deeply sorry that your feeling so alone with panic attacks....You have taken a huge step forward in your life...and that can be very scary....

Your managers sounds very caring people, writing up a support plan to help you manage your new situation....They must believe in you and have faith in you that your the right person for the job you’ve just started...

I think in my option only...that maybe you should give this new role a try...I’m hoping that once your at work, and meet your work colleagues that some friendships might start developing....

Facetime your beautiful parents often if you can...hearing their voices and words of support will hopefully ease your anxiety a bit...and help you feel more at ease with your big decision....

Shemila, you can only give it a try...if it doesn’t work out...then you know you done your best and that’s all we can do....

You’re so very welcome to talk here anytime you feel up to it...We are here to listen and try to support you the best we can...

Wishing you all the good luck I can for your training tomorrow....and if your feeling up to it....Please come back and let us know how you went...with your training..

My kindest thoughts with my care dear Shemila,

Grandy..

[Sophie_M]

Hi Shemila, 

Thank you so much for sharing here. You have been extremely brave.

What a frustrating and exhausting day.... Having that leave of anxiety is profoundly distressing and unbalacing when we feel so far from support and care. You have been so courageous stepping out of your comfort zone, but wanting the comfort of the familiar is understandable. I wonder if we can keep that victory with the right support?

First and foremost, let me remind you that you can call us anytime 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 and of course we also have a webchat function. We can not only help you cope, but we are happy to help provide more referrals.

I would also like to introduce you to an online service so that you can get backup and de-escalation anytime, called e-couch: give it a try at ecouch.com.au

Please hang in there! Reach out anytime you need us!

Regards,

Sophie M.

[Sophia16]

Hi,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for sharing your story. I can hear how anxious and sad you feel.

Leaving interstate away from your family is such a big deal. Your feelings are valid, especially in a situation like that. It can be tough the first few weeks but after a while, you will feel much better.

Try Facetiming your family every morning and night. So you gain confidence once you start your new job. I promise it will get better over time.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat

[Petal22]

Hi Shemila,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand it would feel very overwhelming being without your parents.

Congratulations though of moving out of your comfort zone, I know it feels really uncomfortable right now but that is where growth comes from.

I’m sure that your new employment will be very understanding and I’m sure you will make new friends with your new colleagues.

Hang in there