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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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CatMummy1 Anxious and feeling helpless
  • replies: 3

I'm reaching out because I'm feeling totally lost. I moved to Australia from overseas to be with my partner. There are cultural differences between our families and his family are devout Christian. We wanted to start a family and were worried that wi... View more

I'm reaching out because I'm feeling totally lost. I moved to Australia from overseas to be with my partner. There are cultural differences between our families and his family are devout Christian. We wanted to start a family and were worried that without being married it would cause upset. With Covid meaning travel is a little uncertain We decided to elope with a few friends. We figured that would be the fairest way . Fast forward a month later my in laws still haven't forgiven us as they feel they should have been invited even if my family couldn't be there. The whole situation has sent me into a deep depression and state of anxiety. I haven't seen my family in 3 years, I'm an only child and I moved here to be with my now husband. It feels as though to my in laws my family don't matter. I honestly don't know what to do or think anymore I have gradually gotten worse over the last few weeks and I struggle to eat and sleep let alone concentrate. Im worried it will drive a wedge between my husband and I. My husband now feels it was a mistake to get married. I've tried to talk to him and figure out how to fix things with family but he shuts down at conflict and also doesn't really understand my level of anxiety. i honestly don't know what to do.

RosalieZ Breakup and Anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi, all my life i have wanted to be in a long term relationship and I have never been that 'casual' person. I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half (im 28 and hes 34.) I have GAD which I can control, I take medication daily. But out of what see... View more

Hi, all my life i have wanted to be in a long term relationship and I have never been that 'casual' person. I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half (im 28 and hes 34.) I have GAD which I can control, I take medication daily. But out of what seemed for me, nowhere, he started getting distant with me and we ended up breaking up due to him not being 'ready to commit'. This obviously was hard as I thought we would be together forever. And I kept thinking how dare he not want to be with me im great! I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I've been seeing people from dating apps etc but no one seems ready to commit?? I'm just so frustrated and it gives me serious anxiety. Why does no one want to commit? Im talking people in their mid 30's who specify that they want a relationship. Any tips on how to feel better about this would be helpful. Thanks R

greendino when did you first become aware of your anxiety?
  • replies: 3

hi all, i recently started a new job after a horrible experience at a previous workplace. im 15, nearly 16, and was so excited to finally make some money after a few months off due to COVID-19. the people there are so lovely and all very chill, but i... View more

hi all, i recently started a new job after a horrible experience at a previous workplace. im 15, nearly 16, and was so excited to finally make some money after a few months off due to COVID-19. the people there are so lovely and all very chill, but i noticed that after my first shift i was getting extreme stomach aches days before my next shift. at the time i didn’t know why, but all i knew is that it was followed by shakiness and feeling light headed. i am usually known for having a bright bubbly personality, always seeing things on the bright side, but since i had started the job i felt a lot less bright and was really struggling to gain any motivation and would instead dwell on these stomach aches, until i finally told my mum. for a bit of backstory, my family has a history of depression and anxiety so my parents are very proactive when it comes to their kids mental health and well-being. my stomach aches, shakiness and light headedness quickly turned into panics before work which would leave me in tears. i dreaded going into work even though it was twice a week for 8 hours all up. i tried to push through and make it through shifts and build up confidence to go into work, but it ended up being way to panic inducing, so i ultimately came to the conclusion that i should resign until i have my panic attacks and anxiety surrounding working under control. the anxiety started off being based on how poorly i was treated at my pervious job, but over a few weeks i started feeling more and more anxious about more and more things. this was when my parents really started to notice my change in personality, how i stopped doing simple tasks like cleaning my room. i am consistently tired and have a feeling of dullness all the time. i haven’t sincerely felt happy in 2 months. i feel as though there is nothing ahead of me, just the same numbness forever until i die, which makes me feel very content with death, not bothered at all if i do die. i am booked for a psych appointment in feb, but time feels like it’s dragging slowly and i haven’t had a decent sleep in weeks. asleep by 3 am, awake by 7, drowsy until 12, calm/dull until night. it’s an endless cycle that i can’t seem to kick. i never knew this would be so hard to cope with, is this what’s to be expected or am i just sensitive? geez posting this lifts a whole weight off my shoulders, even if no one sees it.

Austin22 Terrified of return to school for my kids
  • replies: 6

I hope I'm not alone... I am getting panic attacks just thinking about the return to school, specifically my son catching covid and getting really sick. Just the thought of it makes me almost vomit and I get that fight/flight rush. If I hear him coug... View more

I hope I'm not alone... I am getting panic attacks just thinking about the return to school, specifically my son catching covid and getting really sick. Just the thought of it makes me almost vomit and I get that fight/flight rush. If I hear him cough (he's not sick at all) straight away my gut clenches and I start freaking out. I have suffered with anxiety all my life but covid has made it much harder, especially thinking about mixing with other people again. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

greendino can stuffed animals help with anxiety?
  • replies: 5

i have recently been realy struggling with my anxiety and don’t know how to calm myself down. i like to keep myself warm and watered tightly, either with a blanket, curling up in a tight ball or both at once. i was thinking that if i purchased a stuf... View more

i have recently been realy struggling with my anxiety and don’t know how to calm myself down. i like to keep myself warm and watered tightly, either with a blanket, curling up in a tight ball or both at once. i was thinking that if i purchased a stuffed animal or squishmallow i could hug that to give me a sense of calm and warmth. I was looking for anyone who might know if it helps for them before i buy one? thank you so much

jemma09 Does anyone get vision changes with anxiety?
  • replies: 9

Hi all Hope you are doing okay! i just wondered if anyone has experienced vision changes with their anxiety. Things like seeing stars, bright flashes, blurred vision, spots in vision that are unfocused etc? I was unwell recently with a combination of... View more

Hi all Hope you are doing okay! i just wondered if anyone has experienced vision changes with their anxiety. Things like seeing stars, bright flashes, blurred vision, spots in vision that are unfocused etc? I was unwell recently with a combination of symptoms which I am sure wasn’t anxiety as it was different to anything I had ever experienced before. My vision completely changed starry and couldn’t see. I had pins and needles and numbness through my whole body, really dizzy and nauseous like a fainting feeling. Along with my hearing sounding far away and ringing. I wasn’t feeling anxious at the time or beforehand, I felt not right so I went to get check out and all my tests were normal. My iron was starting to be a bit low so I’m on supplements which hopefully helps. But my doctor said we’ll probably never know why I felt unwell, it sometimes just happens. I’ve also had my eyes tested and they are normal. but today I got a weird starry part of vision in one eye, it’s starting to ease now after about 20 minutes with no other symptoms at the time. I have a slight headache now. However, I have been feeling very anxious the last 5 days and nearly went into panic attack yesterday. but I just wonder if me being really anxious has pushed this recent vision change and if anyone else has experienced this? thank you so much and take care!!

Dilly2 Long-term anxiety about husband's health
  • replies: 6

My husband has had serious health problems including 3 major (successful) operations in the past 18 months. We are very close and I have been extremely stressed and taking an antidepressant which helps to a certain extent. Now he is recovering well a... View more

My husband has had serious health problems including 3 major (successful) operations in the past 18 months. We are very close and I have been extremely stressed and taking an antidepressant which helps to a certain extent. Now he is recovering well and I've been feeling better but the slightest hitch in his recovery sends me back into extreme stress mode. He had a short-term bad episode the other night which sent me into panic, even though he was back to normal next day. I was taking an (out-of-date) antibiotic for my slight ear infection - I presumed the tablets were causing my frequent, ongoing explosive diarrhoea. Have now ended the course but the diarrhoea continues despite probiotics and anti-diarrhoea tablets. No other symptoms at all and I feel very well apart from constantly being on edge - trying to convince myself it's all stress-related but then wonder if it's more serious. Very hard to get GP appointments in the current situation. Just wondering if anyone else can relate?

duchess_of_meh Unemployment and the workplace
  • replies: 1

Hello, For a few years now, I have been between jobs. I am looking for my forever home employment wise. I am very tired of job searching with extremely judgemental results. I don't really want to do it anymore and am fed up with the mainstream attitu... View more

Hello, For a few years now, I have been between jobs. I am looking for my forever home employment wise. I am very tired of job searching with extremely judgemental results. I don't really want to do it anymore and am fed up with the mainstream attitude of my past coworkers and employers. I struggle with references and I struggle with people taking me seriously. So pretty much I attend all of my shifts, Interviews and always try to be pleasant, agreeable and friendly. When I am employed I stay away from everyone's dramas and just want to go to work and come home. I don't mind working by myself or in a team. I have studied really hard to get anywhere and it has been a journey that has confused the people i live with. So i am mid thirties but look mid twenties. I have a near legal aged child who still lives with me. I have dark hair and am pasty white ( its genetics, i don't tan, i just burn ). I try to not think it is because of this. But i can't help that it is and feel people are writing me off left right and centre because I do not look like them ( the nautical color scheme people; all beige blue and white dress code aka lemmings. ) I dress alternatively in my free personal time but when I am at work, I dress conservatively boring to avoid any drama my way. Little hints along the way have shaped this view. eg bleaching my hair platinum blonde and wearing fake tan, ill actually get hired looking like this but i don't like it. I lost my job because i changed my hair color back to how it was and my employers freaked out and thought i was an alco ( im not an alco but this is what they told me ) I am having a bad sad day and i would love to know if people have come across this because it is too weird. I know people aren't allowed to discriminate but they do. I am quickly running out of money to get a business together but i am also running out of patience with the covid stuff because it is making people irrational and extremely difficult to work with because they are worried but projecting it on to you. I am just tired of it and want to know if there is anyone on this forum that have any advice.

MissJ94 Career change before 30
  • replies: 6

Ive almost officially given up on my nursing career. Ive realised that abuse, harassment, stalking, bullying, revolving door of staff/management, low wages, wages not being paid correctly, no breaks, insane workloads, unsafe ratios leading to unsafe ... View more

Ive almost officially given up on my nursing career. Ive realised that abuse, harassment, stalking, bullying, revolving door of staff/management, low wages, wages not being paid correctly, no breaks, insane workloads, unsafe ratios leading to unsafe practices, lies about having support when there really isnt any, unhelpful HR, unhelpful unions, stress, depression, and self harm, its just not worth it anymore. Im 27 and physically, mentally, emotionally burnt out from being a nurse. Im starting to realise that it really wasnt worth going in to!! All that money, years of training all down the drain. But i blame myself because i chose that path, to willingly enter a toxic career. Ill be paying off a huge study debt for the rest of my life. I say almost because this new job im now yet to start might change things. Its my last chance at staying in the career. Its casual so if im still sick of it ill go ahead with my plan to do a cert 3 in medical administration. I just feel like im really grieving it all though. I entered nursing to eventually become a midwife. But after doing half the midwifery course as a single mum and working, it was just too much. The study load was insane and i felt as though i should have known things better because i was already a nurse. Then the thought of being responsible for the care of a labouring woman and then a newborn too, it scared the crap out of me. Even to be responsible for a pregnant woman, if i missed something, if i did something wrong without initially realising it, it really scared the hell out of me. And it really makes me depressed and emotional that its not what i thought it would be. I had the plan to be a midwife for almost 10 years, i would tell everyone that i cant wait to be a midwife and now i feel so heart broken, ashamed that im not going to continue the course. All the other middy students i met, we all had this passion. They still have that passion and here i am completely deflated and defeated. Would things have been different if i switched to midwifery after my first year of nursing? Would things have been different if i could have just focussed on my midwifery studies and not worry about money? Would things have been different if i wasnt a mum? I hate seeing literally everyone around me succeeding in life and here i am going backwards. I hate it that much the frustrating makes me claw at my skin and pull my hair, grind my teeth because im so SICK of this shit life i have.

LynnLynn Nasty noisy neighbour causing issues
  • replies: 5

Hi all, This is my first post on the forum. I am not feeling well mentally recently, and I just want to share this story and see if I can get some advice from you. I live in a townhouse block and have been tolerating late night noises from my neighbo... View more

Hi all, This is my first post on the forum. I am not feeling well mentally recently, and I just want to share this story and see if I can get some advice from you. I live in a townhouse block and have been tolerating late night noises from my neighbours next door for almost a year. Most of them work in a takeaway restaurant and finish work after midnight. They love to use a subwoofer/ speaker with bass effect after midnight, and often the noises persist throughout the night until the morning. The noises have impacted my sleep significantly. I have purchased sound-absorbing curtains and used earplugs in the night, but neither would block the vibration and bass effect sounds. I have tried many ways to communicate with them, send them a txt message; put a note in the mailbox; write a letter to them. Nothing resolved the issues. I have tried to communicate with them again recently, face to face. The conversation did not go well. They said I am the problem been complaint too much and said they put back the bass effect on and play music deliberately after midnight because I complained to their real estate agent and the police. When I made the complaint to the real estate agent, I made a dairy/ spreadsheet that documented all incidents that happened and attached with videos/ recordings as evidence. The real estate agent didn't care much about this, kept saying they will talk to the tenants, but nothing changed. The agent asked me to get information from other neighbours/ close by residents this is affecting. However, my neighbours are the first lot in this townhouse block and I am the second. I am the only one who shares the same wall with them. I've been given the runaround. Now I constantly worry about hearing the noises again and feel difficult to fall asleep every night. I also feel a bit of self-doubt about maybe I shouldn't be obsessive about the noises and shouldn't make complaints. I also worry that they may do something more outrageous if I continue to make complaints when noises occur in unreasonable hours. just feel sad and unfair about all this... Any suggestions on what should I do next? Thanks.