Hairdresser anxiety, tips on how to get through it?

AnxiousAnn · ‎01-08-2018

My sister is getting married this weekend, and she has booked us all in to get our hair done.

She has booked me in for a colour to a more natural tone, as it’s currently bright red, she doesn’t want a fireball in her wedding photos haha.

But I’m so anxious about the appointment! I’m not scared of the results, but the whole experience of being at a hair dresser, and having the appointment, makes me anxious. And it feels silly to say but I’m anxious about being anxious!

the hair dressers makes me feel uncomfortable right from the start. The beautiful ladies, the strong chemical smells, starring at myself in the mirror for hours on end.

how can I get through it? What are your tips and tricks

Quercus · ‎02-08-2018

Hi AnxiousAnn and welcome to the forums.

I relate to your anxiety about the process of going to the hairdresser. It's odd because I love the pampering and having my hair cut but I feel awkward and inferior. I believe the staff in the salon make all the difference.

In a good experience I had a hairdresser notice me frowning at myself in the mirror and they made an effort to make me feel good.

Other times I've had hairdressers chat to each other and ignore me and I felt even worse.

My tips....

1. Go with a trusted person. If you are with someone who knows you are anxious they won't tolerate crap service. I've done this before. Gone with a friend and got the staff chatting about the event she was getting ready for and making it very clear today was a pampering day for my friend. They were lovely to her.

2. Go prepared. If you take meds for anxiety make sure you remember to take them. Take a book or phone with you. If you feel uncomfortable escape in the book. Bonus it means you don't look in the mirror the whole time. Headphones too. You can download apps like smiling mind to help calm you down. Or listen to music.

3. Say yes to everything. If they ask if you want a treatment... Yes. Cup of tea... Yes please. Magazine... That would be lovely. This is a day for you to feel good about how you look.

4. Take photos of what YOU want. Ok so your sister doesn't want red hair in the photos. That doesn't mean you have to have a colour you don't like. Have a chat with your sister and decide on a colour you love and she accepts. If you're going to be anxious at least walk out knowing you love your new hair!

5. Remember the staff are paid to look amazing. I remember chatting to a hairdresser who told me the rules for her workplace. No ponytails. Hair done perfectly. Take care of appearance or be sent home. People look at the staff unconsciously to see what the work will be like. So they have to look good. Doesn't mean they are going to judge you or that you are less than any single one of them.

6. About chemicals... If a smell really bothers you speak up first thing. Maybe they can sit you near an open window or put a fan on near you. See if they can use the more gentle products for you. If it gets too much speak up and ask to sit outsite for a bit. While the colour is doing it's thing for example. Surely you could step outside for a stretch and fresh air.

I hope something of this helps you and that you enjoy your sister's special day.

Nat

romantic_thi3f · ‎02-08-2018

Hi AnxiousAnn,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here!

Your comment about the fireball made me giggle - as a redhead I can completely relate!

I think Nat/Quercus has given you some wonderful tips about going to the hairdresser. I too have anxiety about anxiety and anxiety about hairdressers! So here are mine.

1. See if you can watch from the sidelines first. Every hairdresser is so different in their approach. Some like to gabble, others like to sit and focus. If they are a good hairdresser, they can usually read body language and cues to work out whether you like to talk or not. I like to pick mine through recommendations.

2. Read magazines or bring a book. You'll probably find (depending on what you get done) that you can do this for the majority of the appointment except for the times you have to look up.

3. Spray your own chemicals/perfume. I often spray my own perfume on my wrist and smell that, or you may find lavender more soothing. If you have something familiar it can take your mind away from some of those other stronger senses.

4. Feel good first, before you walk out that door. Do you have a favourite outfit? A meaningful piece of jewellery? We all have something that makes us feel good; or even something for that 'special day'. No matter how small it is, if you can boost your self-esteem before you walk out it's going to make you feel better when you're at that appointment.

5. Know that you're not alone. There are so many people in the same boat who feel awkward at hairdressers. Even intimidated by them. Even hairdressers can be intimidated by hairdressers! That's okay.

6. Reward yourself! Often people find that hairdressers are a special treat, but if that's awkward and uncomfortable for you - think about something that you can do after that is special for you. I personally love the bookstore so I think about going there afterwards and that helps me, but ultimately whatever works for you.

I hope this helps!

Quinn_tm · ‎02-08-2018

Hi Ann,

i have no tips for you unfortunately, bit I have to say that you are not alone in this.

I change my hairdresser everytime I get a new haircut because it's just an uncomfortable experience. I leave with hair I'm not happy about because I don't know how to speak up for myself and my face flushes a deeper red as the haircut goes on. I do anything to get out of there as quick as I can because I do feel judged and inferior.

So I truly do empathise with you and I might just try the tips offered above next time I have to go! Seriously it's much easier talking to a doctor about my private parts than seeing a hairdresser (Please think about that when your getting your hair done)😉

You can do this, we have your back!

AnxiousAnn · ‎02-08-2018

I did it!

for the last two days I could feel myself getting more and more anxious, to the point where I was considering taking medication so I could get through the appointment.

but I worried I’d fall asleep in the chair if I did, so I resisted.

and I’m so glad I did!

at first all my fears were confirmed, the girls were gorgeous, the salon was brightly lit and strong chemical smell hits you as soon as you walk in. And right to the left of me this weird buzzing noise. I was getting sweaty and clastrophobic as she put the cloak around my neck.

but then I told myself, I want this! I want nice hair, and I won’t let anxiety take it from me. I listened to the music playing. I played sudoku on my phone while the hair dressers bickered at each other about looking like Dora the Explorer with their new fringe bob cut.

a few distractions, a little giggle, and some lollies to perk me up and I ended up actually enjoying myself!

Thanks guys for all your tips. I feel better knowing you feel the same

romantic_thi3f · ‎03-08-2018

Hi,

YAYYY!!

I'm so glad you got through it! It sounds like you coped really well! Here's Chandler doing his happy dance for you - http://gph.is/1y0xQ8C

Guest_1055 · ‎03-08-2018

Hi Anxious Ann who conquered the anxious and when to the hairdresser.

This is just to say I honestly thought I was the only one that had trouble going to a hairdresser. I have always found it awkward, uncomfortable, heavily chemical scented and down right unpleasant. I have felt so self conscious. I hate facing myself in a mirror even. And have not had my hair cut for a very long time.

Anyway good on you and may your sister have a beautiful wedding.

shell

AquaDiamond · ‎03-08-2018

Hello Anxious Ann

I too can totally relate to this type of anxiety. I have issues with appointments in general. Good or bad. I don't like the idea of being locked into a comittment for a lengthy period of time incase my anxiety flares up and I am stuck. I love getting my hair done. But still It makes me nervous and embarrassed if I start to sweat and if they notice my physical symptoms.

I also have anxiety about anxiety. I didn't even know I was going through anxiety until I was and now I feel the only reason I get anxiety is because I worry about having it. Haha...ridiculous!

Well done for doing it! It feels great when you make it through a fearful event.

fred4761 · ‎05-08-2018

Hi everyone, this thread has blown my mind . . . for some reason I assumed that I was the only person who has anxiety about the hairdressers. Well, it is not so much about getting a haircut as it is about being stuck in the one spot and unable to "escape" if I need to. It is very hard to leave halfway through getting your hair cut and coloured if anxiety hits! Years ago when I was at the hairdressers someone from my past entered the salon and I wanted to run away but I was in the middle of having my hair dyed. Since then I experience anxiety at even just the thought of going to the hairdressers to the point that I ended up purchasing proper hairdressing scissors and learning how to cut and colour my own hair. I was in a wedding party a few years ago and had to have my hair done so made sure that I got a friend to come along with me and let them do most of the talking. I'm glad to hear that you made it through the hairdressing experience on your own Anxious Ann - well done!