guilt from anxiety affecting partner

[kody_love]

Does anyone else feel guilty when their anxiety interferes with their relationship or their ability to decipher what is/isn't a 'big deal'?

For those interested, here's my story - I'll try keep it brief.

My boyfriend and I began dating after I had a serious downturn in my anxiety disorder due to medication aggravating it. Just being together seems to aggravate my anxiety too - as if my anxiety has a new toy to play with, a new tool to twist and turn in my mind to make me suffer.

I feel very guilty every time I bring up an issue with my partner (i.e., things I wish he would do more of, less of, things he does that upset me etc). Our talks are always genuinely calm and a real discussion, never angry. I feel like many of these concerns are valid and legit - but sometimes I second-guess myself, my brain gets muddy, and I lose sight of whether they are genuinely valid or if my anxiety is blowing them out of proportion.

Due to my I uncertainty, I end up feeling extremely guilty for bothering him with these things.

I asked him recently if he felt like I was always on his case. He replied 'no, but it (the talks) does seem like a long-running thing.' Which is true. And I feel a pang of guilt for this - even though I genuinely believe many, if not all, of these concerns are valid.

[CalmCat]

Hi kody love,

Thank you for such a open, honest and raw post - your are brave!

Sounds like you have a lovely and accepting partner who loves you dearly and is there for you.

If you have any issues with your medication speak with your GP or mental health provider.

Good luck and keeping loving I say.

Regards,

D

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

Anxiety certainly does seem to have little grabby hands, doesn't it?!

I had exactly the same experience as you, in my last relationship. If you google "relationship anxiety" it seems to be fairly common, and you may also find some tips for managing it. Can I ask how you're going with your meds now? And also, do you or have you ever sought professional help for your anxiety? This is the sort of thing that a psychologist can help you to manage a bit better.

As it is, it sounds as though both you and your partner are being very considerate of each other under the circumstances, and that's a credit to you both. Keeping the lines of communication open and working together is key 🙂

Katy

[kody_love]

Thank you for the kind words Doz86 🙂

[kody_love]

Thank you for the validation.

I take meds every day for my anxiety, but it is not the medication that triggered my anxiety downturn - that was the contraceptive pill. I have not taken the pill for about a year now.

I want to see a psychologist very much. I made the decision today that I really do have to meet with one. I am just waiting until my next paycheck so that I may afford a doctor's appt to get a mental health care plan and then organise to see a psych.

And thank you for replying (:

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey, that's great to hear!

Good on you for being proactive. And to note, we don't always click with the first professional we meet, sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error. But they can really help us to think about our thinking, and make sense of things.

All the best, good on you 🙂