Going back to work

GlitterRose · ‎13-11-2018

I have had almost 4 weeks off work caring for my elderly mother and dealing with some other difficult family issues. I need to go back to work this week and I am terrified. Due to the anxiety my brain is functioning he best and I am very scared about being around people. Any advice on ow to ease back into work after severe anxiety and depression is appreciated.

geoff · ‎13-11-2018

Hi Rose, I'm sure your elderly mother would have loved those 4 weeks you had off, however, from your comment I'm just wondering whether these family issues have been a precipitate to cause how you are feeling.

I only say this because when my Mum was getting old there were disagreements between some of my siblings that caused anxiety, at that stage I wasn't feeling the best.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

romantic_thi3f · ‎13-11-2018

Hi GlitterRose,

Thank you for your post and reaching out. I'd love to try and support you if I can - a week is not much time at all!

I'm wondering if you could maybe give us more information about your job or the things that you're particularly anxious about. That way we can try and hone in on strategies rather than giving you ones you've probably heard a million times before.

If you're not willing or ready to share these things, that's okay too. I guess the one thing that comes to mind is to brainstorm things you know work for you - do pep talks help you, affirmations, breathing exercises? Or more practical things like talking to colleagues about what's going on, letting your manager know, adapting some of your work activities (like playing music, working in a quieter office) or even making plans to take a break often enough to debrief and have a moment to yourself.

Hope this is helpful,

GlitterRose · ‎13-11-2018

I have been very open at work about the anxiety and depression issues I am currently experiencing, that have building up over the last 18 months and came to a head a few weeks back when I had to sort out family issues. This type of issue has been a constant in my life, but not this bad for over 5 years. At that time I checked myself into a clinic for 4 weeks. I am now thinking of doing some sort of outpatient program with a clinic to get some ongoing coping strategies for dealing with anxiety - do you think that would be helpful? I also have a psychologist that i see every 2-3 weeks, but I find that this is not helping very much.

With work, I just can't think or handle tasks very well at the moment, or go to meetings where I need to talk. Not very helpful as I am in a management role managing 3 staff and I feel like I am letting everyone down and I feel guilty. I have no motivation either and can't cope very well at the moment if any pressure is placed on me. I wish I could resign, but that's not an option. I want to try my best given the circumstances. I am thinking of dropping to part time temporarily and using that time to get help.

romantic_thi3f · ‎17-11-2018

Hi GlitterRose,

Great to hear back from you.

It sounds like you have a bit of a support system from your psychologist and workplace which is great to hear - can I ask, what is it about seeing the psychologist that makes you think it's not helping? Ultimately I feel like the psychologist is the best bet here - since they can really help you with strategies and brainstorm solutions to help.

With an outpatient clinic, this isn't something I've done before but I don't see the harm? Perhaps you could give it a try and see if it helps.

Hm, yeah that does sound difficult - needing to talk in a management role is important! Are there other ways of communicating you might be more comfortable with? Perhaps email or less regular meetings? Or even shorter meetings? Or perhaps trying to work in more of a leadership style where you can pass the responsibilities to others where possible?

It might be worth having this discussion with your workplace or psychologist - obviously they'll know your role and responsibilities much more than we ever will and see how they might be able to help you adapt.

Hope this is helpful

PamelaR · ‎17-11-2018

Hi Glitter Rose and welcome to our community forums

It's pleasing to hear you have helped your elderly mother - that's so good.

Work, management role and anxiety are a difficult mix. I can relate to what you are experiencing very much. Living with anxiety for as long as I have there are many coping mechanisms I've learnt to be able deal with the work situation - some good, some not so good.

I use to take time off - sick leave, rec leave, leave without pay. It was the only way I could survive. In the earlier years I didn't know what was wrong with me other than I couldn't face going to work and inevitably some physical symptoms used to pop up that made it feel okay to take time off. Now I know it was always my mental health that was suffering. At times I would take a week off, or more if I needed it.

I've never used outpatients clinic before. Though when I had my breakdown and was off work for three months or more I went weekly to both my doctor and my psychologist. In the early stages, my psych was willing to have a catch up every morning. It gave me a walk everyday (which was helpful for recovery) - her clinic was a couple of kms away. So maybe this is the sort of thing you are seeking which is okay.

I'm not sure the type of work you're in, but for me I was lucky to be able to return to work on reduced hours, i.e. working a couple of days a week for a couple of hours. I had a return to work coordinator assigned to me who was there to make my transition back to work. When I started back I returned to 4 days a week.

While not in a management role at this time, I was next in line and would relieve when the manager was away. It got to the point I started to decline these opportunities because of my health.

What I did learn though was - my organisation was willing for me to move into any position I thought would help my recovery. This was so good. However, I continued in my role as I liked the people I worked with. They were very supportive.

So Glitter Rose, do you have any opportunities to discuss with your organisation about maybe doing something different until you feel better? How do you think this would be received? Would it be detrimental to your career?

For me, I would not return until I was sure I could 'cope' with people. It was the persona I had built around myself. Someone always in control. This changed in the last couple of years of work. I was more giving of myself.

Hope some of this helps.

Kind regards

PamelaR