Friday Night

[dougall]

My Friday nights are usually not good, it is the weekend, people are visiting relatives, have somewhere to go, have people to see.  I am at home wanting company but too panic stricken to go out and mingle.  It is a feeling of what is it all about, next Friday night will be the same if I don't get my act together and make the effort.  How will anyone know I am lonely if they don't talk to me.  You still can go out and be alone.  It is times like this that my brain and heart have two different conversations, one wins, which one who knows.  I'm not making sense so I shall go and do what I usually do on a Friday night, watch television and go to bed at 7.00pm.

[AGrace]

Hi dougall,

I think many of us have known the Friday night blues, so thanks for raising the subject.

You are right, you can still go out on your own, be alone, and yet not feel lonely. You can also have a good time on your own at home on a Friday night, and a lot of people do.

What would you prefer to be doing on a Friday night? What's the first step you can take to get you there? Perhaps this Friday night instead of going to bed at 7pm you might like to start planning for how you want your Friday nights to look. Start small, be realistic, make sure it's something achievable and measurable, and be prepared to reward yourself for all the little things you do to get you there.

There's also heaps of people on the forums on Friday nights. Perhaps you could join in some of the existing discussions here instead of retreating to bed early.

Whatever you choose to do, I do hope that you can find some fun for your Friday night:)

AGrace

[dougall]

Hi, thank you for your reply.  I am just feeling sorry for myself.  I know what I would like to do.  I would like to go out dancing and meeting new people, one thing stops me and the area I live in is not safe to walk in at night, I don't drive, so it is a catch twenty two.  The people I want to meet are down the street.  If I have a glass of wine then the temptation to have the whole bottle is too much.  I think I want the validation that someone wants to talk to me.  I have gone through a lot in the past 12 months so my confidence is shot.  My husband left because he did not want to help with my anxiety, had to rent in an area not safe, 17 year old son takes his frustration out on me verbally sometimes, can't get a job because of bad are, have no friends or  relatives to help with anything so doing all the coping on my own.  My idea for a good Friday night would be to meet a group of like minded people who only want company and not a relationship, who are not judgmental and can at least try to understand a little.  One day I  will get it.  It releases some of my pressure talking on this site, I am a person who reads people by body language so not having a face to face contact frustrates me a little because I do not know whether people are humoring me or not.  Thank you once again for replying it is comforting to know someone is listening.

[BenD]

Hi dougall,

Just thought I'd add to AGrace's good advice by suggesting that you join some groups - what are you interested in? If you can find people with similar interests then things naturally start to flow.

 Ben

[pdent]

Thankfully the night is over

Friday night seems longest of all 

4 weeks of no sleep and worry about decisions I can't change  

Looks like some people have years of it. I don't know how they keep going 

They are heroes to me

I going to try and plan my day ,so many good things to do if my mind will let me enjoy them 

I am going to try

I hope we all get some peace from ourselves

[dougall]

Hi Ben, thank you for the reply.  I have tried to go to the dancing and I got as far as the door looked in saw all the people, panic attack, stood outside feeling like an idiot trying to tell myself to just get through the door.  Made the mistake of getting ex husband to take me there so his look of well I knew you would not do it did not help.  Yes I know joining a group of same minded people would help it is just getting through the door.  As the saying goes there's nout as funny as folk.  I know I will get there eventualy.  After being with the one person for 17 years and not mixing with anyone else it will take me some time to trust.  I over think things and wonder if they are thinking what is she doing here, no wonder she's on her own.  It is the lack of self confidence that is my downfall, the inability to see who I really am and not what I have been told.

[dougall]

I got through Friday night, managed to stay up till 7.30pm.  Tossed and turned, couldn't sleep.  3.20am drunks shouting up the road for 15minutes so could not get to sleep. 4.20am was up.  Saturday is better as it means I have got through another week of coping.  I start the day with a smile and positive attitude and look forward to it continuing.  Have a safe weekend everyone.

[dougall]

Well I have something to look forward to this Friday, Halloween Party, a very small one but a major step for me.  Getting excited and eager to put decorations up.  A little apprehensive as to whether the anxiety, panic attack will rear its ugly head, got to take a chance and go with the flow, if it is going to happen it will, at least everyone that is coming knows about it.

[HA1]

Hi there!

Can't recall when I had a gathering at home! So very well done, and I hope you enjoy.

if you are able to, find a bit of space whenever you find it getting too much.  Then do some deep breathing and throw yourself back into it!  Maybe some meditation before the party?

K

[dougall]

Hi Hideaway, I will be okay it is in my house so I can retreat to the bedroom or into the garden, I know I will do this a couple of times through  the evening.  It is only 4 people some have cancelled so I can always tell them to go home ha ha.  It is a beautiful day today, not too hot or cold and no sign of a panic attack.  How is your day going?