I think I have anxiety?!

Sarah_C1 · ‎31-10-2014

Hello 🙂

Umm I don't really know how to start or what exactly to say, I'm new here but I think I am struggling with some sort of anxiety and/or depression. I feel alone and lonely, I feel like no one cares, and I don't know what to do. I should apologise in advance for a lengthy post as well, if anyone can help thank you!

6 months ago my boyfriend and I relocated, I started noticing a change in myself. I noticed I gradually became withdrawn and less involved with everything. We moved so I could be closer to university and he would be closer to work and we had both lived together before, and only now are we starting to have problems.

Uni was and is a very stressful aspect of my life, I struggle to stay on top of assignments and homework! The hardest part is getting myself there, I love it when I am, I have a few friends and feel relatively comfortable. Leaving the house and getting the bus is so hard and I will often wag out and come up with petty excuses at the last minute. I know at the time I should be there I know I should just go, stop making excuses but for some reason I just can't motivate myself.

I realised this but even despite my efforts I don't know what to do to break it. I also understand procrastination but it is something more, for a while I thought these feelings and my actions are a result of some sort of anxiety or depression but only today after I stumbled across an article about generalised anxiety disorder and the symptoms did I stop, message my boyfriend and say I think I have every single one of these?!

I also have a very loving caring family who I am so lucky to be so close with but I can't really talk to them, they contribute to the stress (unintentionally I think) because of the expectation of uni and succeeding and making something of myself - they think I should be having the time of my life because I am young and have the world at my feet and I am 'so lucky' but for some reason I can't remember the last time I felt happy. There is a lot going on with them as well, a lot of worries which doesn't help I guess, Im also very isolated, all my friends for different reasons have disappeared

My mum says she always had this feeling that I would be alright no matter what because I am "strong" I don't want to be anymore, I dont think I am alright or it is alright to assume strength, I want order in my mind again I want to be able to sleep at night and go back to thinking worrying is a waste of time but I just dont know how.

mjncoursecar · ‎31-10-2014

Hi Sarah,

Firstly, well done on recognising that something is wrong. I recommend you go and see your GP or counsellor, and they can work out a plan to help you out.

I have similar feelings as a uni student myself, the stress doesn't really help. I do have days where I just want to isolate myself from the everything. What I have found is useful is speaking to your university (be it counsellors, advisers, etc.), and see if it is helpful to apply for assistance, such as extensions, extra time in tests/exams. This usually takes some of the stress away from assessments.

Also, friends disappearing can also contribute to the worries, as I have gone through exactly the same. I have found that being open with your friends is the best way of going about it, although this might not seem like a good idea in the short run.

Finally, even though you feel very isolated, just remember that they are people out there who do care for you and will help you.

Willsdog · ‎31-10-2014

Hi Sarah. Welcome to beyond blue. First of all let me say you are not alone in your feelings. Thousand of us suffer from depression and anxiety. Often both at the same time. Do not feel embarrassed, ashamed or that you are a weak person because you feel this way.Treating one often treats the other. We all get "down in the dumps" at times. This is a part of life. However if you have been like this for weeks or months it is more than just being "down in the dumps". The fact that you have begun feeling this way after moving location is not unusual. Many people suffer from depression after moving away from their familiar surroundings, their friends, family and support network. We often take these things for granted until we not longer have them. What you describe is typical of both anxiety and depression. However their could be a physical reason for you feeling this way. You need to discuss this with a doctor and have a blood test to make sure everything is fine physically. Be open and honest with the doctor about your feelings and symptoms so he/she can best diagnose you. Their are many good medications out their for the treatment of anxiety and depression. The newer ones have very few side effects. After two to four weeks you should start to feel better. Anti depression/ anti anxiety medication is not like taking a panadol for a headache, its takes time to build up in your body. When they start working you feel better but you cannot stop taking them. You normally stay on them for around six months to allow you brain chemistry to regain its normal balance. Being strong is important but depression and anxiety sap your strength away and prevents you from coping. Medication works and you will get back to being you old self again. I wish you all the best.