Feeling overwhelmed and need to talk.

[Beaser]

I wish this wasnt the case but things are getting overwhelming for me again . The world just seems a lonely place at the moment. I have friends who i seen on the weekend and i do get relief then. Its when i get back to being by myself that i crash. I have an appt with my psychologist today and had GP appt but he cancelled on me . I have had recent life events that have really made me distraught and lonely the main being a relationship breakup.

Im also unhappy at work and i feel like everything is so grey for me.

I have been a life time sufferer of anxiety and depression and being 56 it has tired me out. Im actually quietly proud of how i have managed to keep going and get as far as i have . Im scared about where i will end up from all this as i dont know where to turn . I have tried all my life to be a good person and think i have been .. I have always helped where i could and been a good citizen.

My family seem to have a history of depression and anxiety but i feel i have copped the worst of it . Ive always been oversensitive and let things affect me. I just want all this anxiety and depression to go away.

I have turned to these forums recently and its been a help to me . My anxiety and depression just gets so tough at times.

Where do i turn too in this place i just want to be happy again and want the same for others. Brett

I

[Beaser]

Thank you HM.  I will look up Wim Hof on you tube.   Thanks for taking the time out to try and help me its very decent of you.    Your right about the quick fixes . Im a bit worried about today but have my Dr appt so that will help.  Best wishes for your day   Brett. 

[Beaser]

Thanks HM and anyone reading this.    Im not sure whats going on with these posts ATM as they seem to be all in a strange order.   I had a tough day yesterday and am lacking motivation and feeling scared.  I seen my Dr so that was a positive. At least ive managed to be up and showered this morning which is a slight improvement on yesterday.  I will try and go to the supermarket and get some healthy food and maybe a coffee with friends and get my dog out for a walk .  Smal steps but tough ones at the moment..    Best wishes    Brett.

[Jayj19]

Hey Brett, don't get to down on yourself when you have those days. What I found helps is use those days to be mindful for example you said you were lacking motivation, did you notice you were engaging more reward seeking behaviours like eating or binge watch tv on the couch?                  There you go they are great step in the right direction! Just watch your caffeine intake, I love my coffee to but found myself drinking more in hope to gain  some energy/motivation but found it highened my sensors and increasing my anxiety.             

Let me know if you need any help with your diet ect, your on the right track 🙂

[Beaser]

Thanks Jay   I really appreciate your replies..  I think your right about the coffee , i have been on the decaf a bit of late and i think its helped. Ive had some wins this week i worked the last three days.  I have today off and have walked the dogs and cleaned  my car , so i have a bit of motivation again.     Thanks again ill keep you posted     Brett.

[Jayj19]

Geez look at you go! Sounds like your making great progress.

Keep that momentum going  doesn't matter how big or small, you'll notice the scale starting to tip from anxious/overthinking to regaining your confidence and self esteem.

You might have days were you feel like uve taken a step back, we all do but just shrug it off and think pfft I got this.

Keep it up Brett you got this 👌

[Beaser]

Thanks JAY.     I appreciate you taking time out to reply.    I have been ok most times the last week.   I think loneliness gets to me and i only have my local  Hotel to be around people.  I went yesterday i dont go to drink too much but i just need the company.  I know that alcohol is not good for Depression but i cant sit at home either.   I am missing my girlfriend after we split up six months ago and feel the urge to make contact.   But i know its not for the best and i need to respect her privacy.  I think the loneleness of the weekend gets to me.    Ther have been times at work of late that ive felt pretty flat and i do worry i might not cope at times with certain people who push that bit hard at times.   Im 56 and ive worked since i was sixteen and i guess ive put up with my share of that sort of stuff. I just dont want to get myself too upset and maybe snap one day.    Brett.

[Jayj19]

No worrys mate that's what we're here for, do you have any hobbies or something you might be Interested in getting into ?

Catch up with family, volunteer work, mens shed, These are the type of positive socialising activity's you might want to give a go.

I can't stress enough how self care can make HUGE improvements, things like:

-grooming

-dress nice 

-diet and exercise 

-have a daily sleep routine

Don't let it overwhelm you ,just take one step at a time.

Like I said in a earlier post try be mindful when negative thoughts come up and challenge them, talk to yourself the same way you would to someone close going through hard times.

Is anyone at work aware of your current mental state?

[Beaser]

Hi Jay and thanks again.   Yes my boss does know to some extent.  

Your right about self care .   I must admit that i didnt look after myself to well on the weekend i just get so lonely. I didnt do anything silly but i didnt really achieve anything and i did drink alcohol and i know that doesnt help.  But what am i supposed to do im sick of being home alone and need to get out.  Its a tough time as i do a lot of volunteer work at my football club in winter but have a huge void in the summer months.  I miss my ex so much and would love to contact her but i guess i know its not for the best. She has unfriended me on facebook so i guess that indicates she want hers space.  Thanks again Jay  ,   brett. 

[Beaser]

I just find it so hard with the loneliness . I innocently drove past my ex partner yesterday i would love to stop and say hello.  I miss her so much but every thing  and everyone tells me to leave it and dont make contact.  I havent been doing that but its hard.  I seem to have been blocked by her on facebook which i guess is a good indicator that she needs her space. Christmas alone coming up is scarey.  I know there are people worse off than me but its my personal battle.   Love and best wishes to all.   Brett

[Jayj19]

If you don't mind me asking why did the relationship end?

What's bothering you the most about the break up, is it the loneliness of not having her around or the thought you won't find someone like her again?