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Feeling like I’m going backwards

Caite
Community Member

Hi all, 

 

Me again, I’ve recently discovered that my anxiety has been sky rocketed and it cannot come down naturally no matter how hard I try, if anyone has seen my posts before you’d know my dr cold Turkey me off anti depressants in February and went through a really scary withdrawal with no support or supervision, my new dr wants to trial me on small doses of another anti depressant and start psychology, I guess I’m scared and defeated I have to start again and knowing that when I’m ready to come off my mind goes to what if it happens again….if that makes sense

15 Replies 15

Flop
Community Member

Hey Catie,

 

I had to ween off anti-depressants to try another one too. I had brain zaps that were a bit disorienting and felt really bad the one time I tried to just stop my full dosage and not widdle down to the lowest available 

 

I have a psyche appointment tomorrow! And I'm nervous! I've seen her once before but that was 3 months ago. What I tell myself is "I'm literally doing the best thing I can for my anxiety". It's enough of a push I guess to follow through. Just know that this step is a huge achievement and I'm proud of you for putting yourself first. It isn't an easy thing and can make you feel quite vulnerable or scared, but you're doing the best thing you can to help yourself. This is huge!
 

I had similar worries of "what if it happens again" with my panic attacks so I think I can relate with that feeling, although yours is different. You aren't alone ❤️ All I can really offer is some hopefully comforting words. Setbacks are unfortunately a part of recovery that I think we all struggle with.

 

Hope this helped 😄 Feel better ❤️

Caite
Community Member

Hey Flop,

 

Yeah it’s a bit disheartening coming off them with your drs instructions of “here’s 4 days you’ll be fine” after so many years on them and no psychology or counselling to learn how to cope when coming off them, it’s been a horrible 3 months, I just stress I’m going backwards but you’re right it’s the best thing for my anxiety, I mainly just struggle with leaving the house to do chores on my own now, my panic attacks left maybe 2 months ago.

 

I hope yours improve or have improved. I’m proud of you too ❤️

Flop
Community Member

Unfortunately each doctor handles situations differently and there isn't a strict code for how to go about certain situations. I think a lot of doctors would probably disagree, especially if you've been on it for years. I was on mine for 2+ years when I decided to try another. Tried once cold turkey and felt like I was dying, or something very similar. Not fun lol.

 

I understand that too, leaving the house for me is quite spooky at the moment, to put it lightly. Once you're out and about you'll notice that it's nothing to worry about, but the dread prior is real. My panic attacks have been much better since I first started trying to overcome it, and I'm super glad yours have left you. It's encouraging that they can be beat! (I haven't had one in ages but I feel like It's still a worry in the back of my mind)

 

It sounds to me like you're on your way forwards, new avenues awaiting you. That feeling though can be quite consuming. Try not to get caught up in it. You're doing really great! New medication + psychology could be a life changer. It's completely okay if you have a day you aren't feeling it, set backs and downward spirals, we'll overcome it in the end. Don't beat yourself up. A common phase I've heard that is meant to help with a multitude of anxious invoking situations or feelings is: "This too shall pass", and so will that backwards feeling 🙂

Caite
Community Member

Thank you, yeah I think it’s just waiting for my medication to kick in now it’s only been 2 days so I’m still anxious and all those fun things, I’m sure in a week I’ll be back to normal

 

Panic attacks for me were a night time thing for me when I was 17-19 now I’m 23 it’s mainly just figuring out life anxiety in all honesty haha 

Flop
Community Member

It'll take a little bit to kick in, I'm sure you'll be fine in a week too.

 

My panic attacks I think stemmed from agoraphobia/social anxiety to some degree, but I haven't had one in probably over a year. Went to my psyche today and it was quite motivating. Your first session will mostly be getting to know you. I'm 23 also and dealing with that very thing lol. You aren't alone at all... I'm sure we'll figure it out...

Caite
Community Member

Feeling a bit space cadet today and hot flushes, yeah I thought it would take a bit, I’m so glad your appointment went well, oh look at us go, it’s crazy how insane anxiety and depression can take over 

Flop
Community Member

Aw it is, we'll make it through in the end, and thank you 🙂

Rest up today, that sounds awful to deal with 😞 Hopefully tomorrow you aren't feeling as bad. If you don't feel the edge being taken off after awhile, could mean your dosage needs to be adjusted, but time will tell. Feel better ❤️

Caite
Community Member

Yeah I’m being a bit bad and only starting on half a 50mg tablet, dr said 1 a day but I like to start slow cause I had an allergic reaction to a different one last weekend, I’ll definitely see how I go my next option is CBD oil 😊

Flop
Community Member

I wasn't aware a doctor would be able to prescribe that in Australia. Just did some research and the benefits seem similar to an anti-depressant, might be a good thing to look into if your doctor's willing and this doesn't work out. Seems as though your doc would have to reach out to a third party to see if you're eligible then you'd be approved to try it for 12 months