Fear of losing touch with reality

[Guest_13432]

Hi everyone, this is my first time doing this and I’m terrified but here goes.

one night I got spiked with MDMA by people I knew, I have had history with anxiety, it didn’t affect me that bad but I felt a lot of anger with the people who did it, fast forwards 2 months I went out with the same people, they were talking about taking MDMA and a few minutes later I was convinced I got spiked again, I had someone I could trust with me and they took me out of the situation and tried to convince me I wasn’t spiked but I wasn’t having it, it felt so real and was convinced something was wrong.. after that night my anxiety has been so bad, where do I begin.. firstly I am convinced that I am developing schizophrenia because after that night I have been so paranoid.. I always have panic attacks that I have been spiked again, I can’t drink from bottles, I don’t trust anyone and always think they have alternative motives, during this time of my life my then girlfriend had left me and literally attacked me, I couldn’t believe who she had become which made me even more paranoid, I can’t go out on a date without some type or paranoid thinking, it’s causing me panic attack after panic attack.. I have so much on my mind so I apologise if I’m not making complete sense, to go back to what I was saying about the night I thought I got spiked, I was conviced I actually got spiked for a while but realised when I had a similar panic attack that I didn’t, but I’m still very paranoid about everyone and question everyone’s motives, I’m scared that these are the first signs of schizophrenia and I’m developing it, I’m terrified can someone please help, thank you.

[Sophie_M]

Hi FearlessLFC,

A warm welcome to the forums; I know that it must have been scary posting on here for the first time, so I hope that you can take some time to give yourself a pat on the back for taking this huge step. 

I'm really sorry to hear that you have been going through all this and the way this anxiety has had such a huge negative impact on your life. It seems like that what happened that night has stayed with you in a really strong and emotional way, and I can only imagine how hurt and betrayed you must have felt to have had to go through this.

I think that being open to having a conversation about what is going on, and how to get help, is definitely an important step in trying to heal and recover from what happened, and please know that support is out there for you to figure out what the next step might be. In addition to the support that other people in our community might add to this post, you might also find it helpful to browse our subforum on anxiety, where people post about having similar experiences and how they have managed to cope with in on their journey so far.

Lastly, I would also consider having a chat through our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website. With the Support Service, you'll get the chance to speak to a mental health professional about what has been going on, and they should be able to provide you with more information and point you in the right direction about where to get more support, as well.

I know this must all feel really overwhelming and scary, FearlessLFC, but please know that you are not alone in having to go through all of this.
 

[White_Rose]

Dear FearlessLFC

Hello and welcome to the forum. Well done posting here which is not an easy thing to do. However you have made the first step which makes it easier to continue posting.

I can only imagine how horrified you were to find your drink had been spiked. Such a nasty experience and one that makes it difficult for you to trust others again. As Sophie has said, the impact of such a betrayal has stayed with you. I am not a doctor so cannot say you have schizophrenia, but I very much doubt you have anything of this nature after having your drink spiked. It just does not happen this way.

To help set your mind at rest have you thought of seeing your GP? Your doctor can explain the consequences of someone spiking your drink from the medical aspect.He/she should also be able to talk about schizophrenia and how it arises in anyone and to check whether or not this is a medical condition you have. I'm sure you are very nervous about doing this in case you get the diagnosis you do not want. I believe this is unlikely so please see your doctor soon.

He/she may be able to give you some medication to help manage the panic attacks. As someone who has experienced some scary panic attacks I can appreciate how distressing this has all been. Becoming paranoid is also unlikely as a diagnosis. Yes you are very nervous about being with others you do not trust in case they do it again, but this is reasonable. I feel certain I would be scared in that situation.

Talking to the people at BB may be helpful as Sophie has mentioned. It's a safe place to talk about what has happened and get some help to manage. Phone the 24/7 hotline on 1300 22 4636. When you are feeling particularly anxious this is a safe option.

Do you enjoy being with these new friends? If not perhaps you can avoid these meetings and go out with other people. I remember someone saying to me that they always had their drink in their hand until they had drunk it. Never drink from an opened can given to you and if you put your drink down for any reason, leave it and get a fresh drink when you need one. These are simple precautions which can help to reassure you.

I hope you continue to post here.

Mary

[Guest_13432]

Hi, I have followed up with a therapist and told him about my experience and he has reassured me countless times it’s just anxiety, bad anxiety at that! I want to thank you for all you do for people suffering with mental health challenges, it’s going to be a hard long battle but I’ll push through, again thank you!!

[Guest_13432]

Hi, I have followed up with a therapist and told him about my experience and he has reassured me countless times it’s just anxiety, bad anxiety at that! I want to thank you for all you do for people suffering with mental health challenges, it’s going to be a hard long battle but I’ll push through, again thank you!!

[White_Rose]

Thanks for getting back to us Fearless. I am so pleased to know you feel reassured about your mental health. If it will help, please continue to post in here. As you say, it will be a hard battle but you have some supports in place including BB. We are always here though maybe not immediately.

Mary