Experienced Male Primary School Teacher new job riddled with anxiety

[Guest_9632]

Hello,

So this year my family and I made a sea change and moved to a new coastal town with a new job to boot. After working for 15 years in the same school where I was very comfortable, I’m now struggling to cope with the new surrounds and routines of my new school. I’m now on anti deps, speak with a counselor and booked in for a psych (September was the earliest!)

There is no doubt the big change of moving my family into new surrounds is what’s causing this anxiety and I do acknowledge this. I just can’t help over thinking everything I do and am actually fearful of what my colleagues think. I also now work in a open classroom with 2 other classes which is so foreign to me too. I’m use to my own room with 4 walls where I’m in control and can handle the surrounds. That’s all gone now and I’m at odds with dealing with it.

At the end of the day I’m trying to get help, speak about it, my current school are supportive and I have even taken time off. But I’m still struggling to deal with the anxiety and over think so many things, especially on a Monday morning. I just don’t feel like my older self all. No doubt changing schools at the end of the year is an option but it feels so far off. I just need tips to revive the pressure and constant anxiety now.

Any advice would be invaluable. 🙂

[Petal22]

Hello Guest 9632,

Thats great you have had some sleep, it sounds like you have a great plan in place for your tablets...

Things are sounding more positive with your work😊, just believe in yourself when it comes to change.....

look for the positive ....., you will be gaining so much self growth through change even if you can’t see it yet....

Thats great you have been out running...... the more you do this the more it will become a habit...

Enjoy your catch up with your mate, it’s always nice to do this.....

Im glad your wife had a good sleep aswell, the sleep in would have helped..... that’s nice... I’m sure she would enjoy a “surprise “ trip to a winery.... very nice

have a great day tomorrow 😊

I’m here to chat to you, keep up the great work....

[Guest_9632]

Hey Petal22,

So had a pretty good day but a rough start. Was flat when I got up at 5:30am and just couldn't bring myself to get out and exercose and just took it easy on the couch. Problem then was it dictated my morning and I struggled to get going. First day back at school and had zero energy. Was quite anxious too. But got better as the morning went on. Got home and offically checked off from work so have had a nice night by the fire with pizza and a quiet beer with the family.

I've got a Saturday of report writing ahead, that time of the year, but I'm determined to get up and have a productive day. I'm going to get out of the house and go to the local library.

Upon reflection i'm happy with where I'm at atm but so aware of having relapses. Just trying to get the right balance right woth routine is still a challenge. I'm determined though also not to have a flat weekend as I have the past two. Getting some work done will allow me to reward myself tomorrow by having a couple of beers at the pub with a mate followed by dinner with wives and kids. We moved down the beach earlier in the year and I'm determined to remind myself about how lucky where we are and live and ENJOY it.

You seem to be such a positive person and I'm trying to encapture that in my daily life. Mindfulness and practiisng it daily I think will help in the long term. I was scepticul first, but I'v realised its like programming your brain and sub conscience. The more I do it and the more i'll feel better and more relaxed.

Anyway I just wnted to thank you for your ongoing support and hope I can repay the favour some day.

I look forward to chatting more.

Take care and enjoy your weekend! 🙂

[white knight]

Hi,

You seem to be making some progress.

In relation to your occasional indecision to go running please Google

Beyondblue topic switching mindsets

Regards TonyWK

[Petal22]

Hi Guest 9632,

It’s ok that some days are harder than others..... this happens with anxiety..... you are still doing really well...... if this morning was hard to get out and exercise just tell yourself tomorrow will be better...

all the best with your report writing I’m sure you will have a productive day...enjoy your time with your mate... and dinner with the family...

it really is beautiful living near the beach.... yes tell yourself daily of how lucky you are to be living there..... enjoy the sea breeze the sand and the sound of the waves crashing... so much mindfulness to be done at the beach..... I’m always telling myself what I’m looking forward to doing I actually make myself feel excited about something before I do it... it helps with the emotions.... I believe happiness is decided ahead of time... if you tell your self how much you love something even before you see it you already have decided you love it and make the best of it...

yes it’s all about mind set.... we can program our minds to be happy and to see the best... it just takes practice and perseverance.....

thank you.... I am a positive person... I choose to be positive everyday.... it’s something I’ve programmed my brain to be.. being positive is the best because in return we are rewarded with positive emotions and happiness...

before I went through my mental health journey I was a very negative person..... I decided I didn’t want to be that person anymore and with every new day I went out with intent to be positive....

I could tell you a funny story I was out doing my food shopping one day I was in the express lane I had 14 items in my basket you are supposed to have 12... a lady standing next to me in line was complaining to me that I had too many items in my basket and shouldn’t be in that line... as I paid for my shopping and was about to leave I said to that lady..... I wish you happiness...... by me being positive to that lady it made me still feel good I could have been nasty but that would have made me feel awful..... being positive always puts out a nice energy...

im happy to support you guest9632, just knowing that I’ve helped you in someway is a big reward to me 🙂

enjoy your day tomorrow

here to chat to you 😊

[Guest_9632]

Hi Petal22,

so I’ve hit a bit of a road bump. The last few days I’ve developed some blurring vision in my right eye (a floater). Wasn’t annoying too much until yday when I seeked some help from GP. In a nutshell I probably need glasses and there maybe also some underlying issue. Currently (as we speak) in the waiting room to see a specialist so yet another day off work. Anxiety has risen and trying to stay calm. Just yet another change that I’m struggling to deal with. Still have so much work to do and so little time. Checked in with my team who are so supportive, just feeling overwhelmed atm. I’m not afraid of having glasses just feel like I can’t catch a break atm. Anyway just thought I’d get my thoughts down.

kind regards

(Pat)

[Petal22]

Hi Guest 9632,

Sorry to hear you are having trouble with your eye.... stay positive... yes and calm.....tell yourself positive things.... practice your strategies...

just concentrate on one thing at a time every thing will work out.. that’s great your team is supportive...

I know everything happens all at once some times but you know what in time every thing will work out and you’ll have a big break before having anymore issues...

I hope all goes well with your specialist..

here to chat to you

[Guest_9632]

Thanks Petal22,

Turns out my eye isn't as bad as first thoguht. Build up on liquid behind the eye (has a special long name), very common for males around my age and can be caused by stress. Will heal itself (9/10 times usually does). Just will have this slight blur for a few weeks.

I've decided to tackle tomorrow differently, by going to work early and hit the day running. I use to do that pre kids. Wife has agreed to this and want to get work done before the long weekend.

I'm getting better at not over thinking things but did have my moments this morning. Work is so busy at the moment with report writing and I keep remebering that I'm new to their processes and wont get everything right. Just ned to see this term out (3weeks to go) and have a good break but more importantly start a fresh with the new term focusing on everything that I've learnt.

Anyway once again thx for your lending ear. I always look forward to reading your responses. Have a lovely night.

-Pat

[white knight]

Hi Pat

What you're describing "I’m not afraid of having glasses just feel like I can’t catch a break atm".. is very common yo me.

I describe it like this. Increased people are like a bucket that's 1/4 full. They get stressed and it reuses to 1/2 or 3/4 full, the water is the stress. A death in the family or suicide thoughts the bucket overflows usually for a short time.

Damaged people with anxiety unable to cope with stress, their bucket is 7/8ths full and never less. 2 or 3 stressful things is ok then the 4th and it overflows. Dtop one stress off and it stops overflowing...but it's full!

This cycle can only be relieved by reducing stressors, as Petal kindly points out, coping with one thing at a time. Prioritizing.

Unless of course you retrain your brain to cope by various means as mentioned earlier like- relaxation, meds, therapy, holidays, assistance from family and so forth.

Only then will the water level drop and in my case over many years it has dropped to say 1/2 full meaning it still overflows but not near as often. It is during those periods I seek my wife to relieve me of a chore or two. Then I'm ok.

You're correct in treating this challenging period as a steep learning curve. In the future a work colleague will be like you now and you'll see his/her condition very clearly.

You are progressing as you do when 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.

TonyWK

[Petal22]

Hi Pat :-),

Thats great news your eye is ok, I’m sure it will heal soon.... I hope the blur isn’t too bad...

I hope the new start to your day goes well tomorrow, I think it’s great how you are trying to find new ways to start your day to make things easier for yourself, I hope it really helps you... your wife sounds very supportive which is great..

Thats great that you arnt over thinking so much, it’s great that you can see an improvement .. we sometimes do slip back a bit with over thinking and that’s ok... It’s good that you can notice it though.... you can see what your mind is doing at times.... it’s awareness...

only 3 weeks of term left.... some thing to look forward to..... you will get through it! You’ll be able to look back and see how far you have come....you will be growing from all that you are going through right now even if you can’t see it yet....

it’s great you look forward to my replies thank you I enjoy supporting and chatting to you to.

enjoy your day 😊

[Annas1]

Hello Guest_9632 -

I'm sorry I didn't get back to this thread earlier. It's been a while since your last post and I'm wondering how you've been going?

I can imagine there have been ups and downs, and this is pretty much par for the course. In fact one of the hardest things for me to accept on my mental health journey is that as much as I want to 'control' my inner state, my feelings will ebb and flow, at times I will be triggered by an external event or memory, and I will have good days and bad. Wow this is hard to accept!

It is also frustrating when we work so hard to take care of ourselves, do all the right things - diet and exercise, positive self-talk, goal-setting and honest communication - and still can struggle with our mental wellbeing. This can be disheartening and I have a tendency to be down on myself as a result. But hey! This is no time for being my own worst enemy! This is exactly the time to be my own best friend! I'm learning to be heartful towards myself in this situations (which are regular but not often). Learning to be self-compassionate is important for me as it helps 'carry' me across these times of troubled waters.

The community here wants to help carry you across the waters today Guest_9632. You are courageous and you are human. I'm coming to understand that we are most alive when we embrace all of ourselves, our struggles and our strengths.

Looking forward to hearing your news.