So its raining and colder but my ocd is still not happy. Still looks at the weather report and tells me that it should be colder. Tells me that things aren't right. Even though last year i never looked at the weather report and i couldn't tell you from day to day what the temperature was. Its like this devil on my shoulder always telling me to be afraid, that things will get worse. Its like living with the biggest bully you have ever known that you can never switch off. It tells me not to relax, that i have to be on my guard always because there is always, always something there to hurt me. To hurt my family. I try so hard to fight the bully every day but its exhausting and some days i win and some days i can't get out of bed. But today i will be grateful for the rain and tell myself its ok to relax once in a while.
