Can’t eat, drink, sleep or function!!

[emsym]

Hi All

ive really been struggling with “anxiety” of late. My entire life (well as far back as I remember) I have considered myself “a big worrier”.

I worry about everything, especially those I love & care for.

I have 2 kids. my daughter is 15, going on 20 in both looks & mental status- rebellious, all the fine stuff !
upon reflecting my life’s journey & that of what 2020 has dealt me as far as teen daughter worries, I find myself concluding that it is likely the unrelenting dealings and worry for my daughter that have likely tipped me over the edge.

what started as lacking motivation, quitting my long sought after career to finding myself continuously “worrying” for my children (among multiple other facets of my day to day life & responsibilities has now become panic attacks, tight chest, racing heart, palpitations & an uncontrollable dread of fear that I am dying or disconnecting. In addition to this my moods are incredibly unstable- the highs are high and the lows are low, most of my aggrivation having become directed toward my loving & caring significant other 😞

I now find myself spending time in thoughts of “is my partner getting Jack of this & starting to stray” ?? Ugh 😞

ive had a few days off work, this also fuels it even more because I haven’t properly explained my absences & I find myself quite fearful of any judgement

[Gambit87]

Hi emsym,

Welcome to the forums! It takes so much guts and courage to reach out!

I don't have kids, but I do have 2 sisters! and they where raging hormone monsters to my mum and dad growing up

As I said I don't have kids, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I feel what your feeling/experiencing with your daughter is completely natural. Shes getting to that age where shes wanting more independence, your the enemy but the mother in you wants to be there for her, protect her etc etc. I don't know how to navigate that (I used to tell my sisters to stop being princesses - that probably wont work in your situation haha)

It does seem like you need some you time! self care is so important (easier said then done I know) Are you able to talk to friends/family? I also cant recommend talking to a psychologist enough. It can be a bit daunting at first but they are worth their wight in gold. They can help develop strategies when you're really feeling stressed and anxious.

[emsym]

Aw thank you for your lovely reply

i have indeed spoken with loved ones and friends. Along with my GP and psychologist

to ice the 2021 cake we’ve certainly faced some pretty upsetting circumstances around my partner & his parents and some really unnerving circumstances around the succession rollout of the family farm & severe mistreatment toward my partner from his own family

i feel this aside from all the Covid mishaps of 2020, that on top I have had these soul crushing, debilitating worries & extraordinary circumstances to face & jiggle.

feeling Tired & defeated is one way to put it...

ive lost a tonne of weight (not been taking care of myself - alcohol & sedative intake), improper sleep & as a result am finding basic day to day requirements unbearable.
the world has been incredibly unrelenting, as has my personal life & as a result I am fragile, burned out & genuinely unsure how to dig my way out of this one.
Im not sure if I mentioned above that the doc has medicated me for GAD

[Gambit87]

covid has been brutal.

battling my depression, anxiety and ocd and being really unhappy with my job really burnt me out. I felt like i was a robot running on auto pilot. My psych suggested I take two weeks off. I didnt really know what to do with myself since I rarely take time off, but each day I did something different (walk to the coffee shop, go see a movie, bike ride along the river etc) by the end of the 2 weeks I actually felt pretty good. I totally understand different circumstances and its easier said than done but maybe you could try something similar?

Also meditation! its weird to do at first, but once you get used to the idea its really a great way to relax and calm the mind.

I cant even begin what you are going through! But where here when ever you need to vent.