Replacing worry with hobbies/things that matter

[Anon285]

Hi there,

I’ve has this kind of issue for about 7 years now where I don’t really have hobbies or a wide range of interests because I focus in on one thing, especially something that I’m worried about. In a weird way I find it interesting trying to solve the things I’m worried about but really... I’d rather just be interested in other things. I don’t have friends because I can’t relate to people a lot of the time... because I spend so much time caught up in trying to improve myself or something - whether it be fitness or social skills or whatever.

At the moment I’m in a tricky situation because I’m been obsessing over reversing this likely irreversible medical condition I have that is stopping me from exercising. I think about it for hours a day every day and this kind of thing tends to take over during holidays which is now.

I like some creative hobbies but doing them on my own. I like to watch funny videos but can’t really chat about them. I’m on the autism spectrum as well and I want to just be interested in stuff that people tend to be focussed on and I don’t know where to begin. I watch a bit of news to stay up to date with the world. I’m just in this kind of tricky situation trying to ‘unstick’ from these obsessions. I haven’t ever met someone else in this situation before and have felt very weird because of it. I haven’t had friends for years, and I reckon it’s because of this.

I’d like to finally make friends and have a genuine interest in worldly issues and I don’t know... TV shows, movies, normal things. I like to listen to music, browse the internet mainly just recommendations, compose instrumental music (not inspired by anything particularly) and watch whatever’s on at dinner time, swimming and that’s about it. I don’t fit in anywhere and I didn’t really care about this until just now, really (lol). And here I am again worrying about another thing and using up time around that... but anyway, has anyone else broken free from this sort of rut? I’d like to be more ‘out there’, and just enjoy life rather than be in ‘fixing’ mode all the time.

Thank you and I really appreciate any insights people have. Has anyone else gotten out of this kind of situation before? Thanks

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

The reason you haven't met anyone like yourself is because they, like you, are usually at home not socializing in the common way.

It's not easy for anyone to relate to your difficulties but I can sympathise with you because living on the outside of groups and clubs is no fun. This is why the saying goes "birds of a feather flock together". So to put that in operation you'd needs to join a organisation that has members with autism spectrum. No easy feat but worth asking your GP or therapist.

The other consideration is what I call "switching mindsets". Basically when you plan to go for a run but decide you're too tired- reverse that decision and run, straight away.

Google this-

Beyondblue topic switching mindsets

I'd guess you might lack motivation. You can attend motivation lectures and watch inspiring YouTube videos like

prem rawat maharaji appreciate

And many more of his videos.
At least you're reaching out and facing your issues- well done for that

Cheers