Can't believe I'm relapsing at 38 (eating disorder)

[aMonsterCalls]

Who would have though that the internet would be right?! Everywhere I read about counting macros and using My Fitness Pal...said don't try this if you have a history of disordered eating! I thought I'd recovered pretty well from anorexia so I could ignore this advice! Turns out, a year into tracking all my food, I've turned around and realised I've walked right into a relapse.😭
Are there any older people still dealing with eating disorder stuff?
I'm seeing my GP this week to set up an ED treatment Plan. Feeling really isolated because no one around me gets this stuff.

[Hanna3]

Hi MonsterCalls, I haven't had anorexia but a couple of years ago I put on a heap of weight and was pre-diabetic and my GP told me to lose about 8 kilos and I had to go to him and be weighed once a month. I lost 7 kilos pretty fast, then I plateaued. He told me off and urged me to keep losing weight. So I exercised even harder and ate less and less until I snapped and got so hungry I ate everything in sight! For the first time in my life I was binge eating at night and couldn't stop.

I was under a lot of stress and it took ages to get the binge eating under control. Now after a house move I've discovered I'm doing it again. I've realised that stress will start it off.

So it's like the opposite of your problem but I do understand having an eating disorder. Great that you are seeing your GP and being proactive in doing something to try to get help for yourself! I do really understand how tough these things are to deal with. Let us know how you get on with the GP and a treatment plan. Best wishes you will conquer this again!

[aMonsterCalls]

Thanks for replying with your experience Hanna3. It's probably going to be something that cycles around until we get some decent therapy and deal with it.😬 I haven't really done that work before. Just kept weight on to avoid inpatient treatment again which is not much of a recovery!😂 I think even the years that I felt "well" my eating was a bit like a seesaw with unconscious restricting and binging in the afternoon when dinner prep anxiety kicked in. Sigh. It's a tiring way to live huh.

[Hanna3]

Hi MonsterCalls, from what I know from people who have had anorexia or other eating disorders yes I think it is pretty much something you have to keep watching out for - maybe a bit like diabetics have to check what they're eating and their blood sugar levels! I hope the doctor is able to help you out - yes it's nice to keep out of inpatient treatment if you can, but if you need it do accept help.

Mine has only happened later in life which is probably unusual. I hope you keep hanging around some of the forums like the café and chat a bit, I hope other people can give you some support here too. Do you have plans for Christmas? Does Christmas make your problem any more difficult to manage? Sending my best wishes!

[Srfr]

Monster Calls

hi; have found grief too causes relapse. To make you feel better; am 56 & still attempting “normalcy” - whatever that is !

have found eating 3 meals a day helps (hard I know)

Shame stops me sharing this with others, due to past trust issues.

Working on allowing others to see my body helps too with the anxiety.

Know you are not alone

Hard though when friends try to get me to eat

Hope this is useful XXX

[Srfr]

Hi Monster Call’s,

I am older & “get it”. Have personally had both sides of eating issue & find trackers unhelpful for me. As my anxiety is around self image & lack of self esteem, I find not focusing on weight is useful too. Very hard I know, but with meds find they slow me down enough to “catch the thought” as it arises. Then I try to have some compassion for that younger self who knew no better. Now, am still falling into anxiety but recognise anxiety is the source & F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real) needs ignoring. Hope you find a way through & trust yourself to be kind to any issues that arise. Stay safe. X Srfr X

[josh1245]

hi monster call's you shouldn't feel ashamed or weak because of your struggles life is a journey of many struggles and triumphs and it doesn't matter how old you are. firstly you are in the perfect community the beyondblue community to ask for help and also I applaud you for your strength and courage to ask for help. you need to surround yourself with a good support system and open up about your struggles ex triggers, behaviours etc so your support system know and can help guide you to battle this.