Vent and any advice appreciated

[Rhianna_n]

Hi everyone.

I’ve been battling my own personal hell for the last 6 months and I have no idea what to do anymore.

When confronted with negative events in the past I’ve been able to hold on to some hope that things will get better. Lately, as my panic attacks have become more frequent and my life has been spiralling more and more out of control, I’ve been struggling to find reasons to fight.

I was harassed at work and ultimately unfairly dismissed from a full time position earlier this year so my financial security is no longer there. I’ve been relying on savings to get me through and I have a new job but I can barely make myself go due to such severe anxiety, and the hours are not consistent enough for me to stop thinking about how I’ll be paying for my rent, bills, etc.

On top of this, I’m severely depressed and discussing medication options again with my GP. I’m also ready to break up with my fiancé who I’ve been with for nearly three years, and who has been the person I’ve been closest to during that time.

I’ve found out that he has been speaking to another girl and eyeing off other women and it makes me furious because I believed everything he told me about me being the only one he loved and cared for intimately.

I’ve also started to rely on alcohol to escape the anxiety and associated depression, even if it’s just for a few hours. Sleeping pills are also becoming something I frequently use to get outside of my head and escape reality.

I have people who care about me and listen but I just don’t feel like putting my issues on them because it’s not fair for them to carry some of the burden of my problems.

I want to run away from everything and just be happy but I’m so stressed all of the time I just want to give up.

Has anyone experienced similar? What helped you through? Because I don’t know how much longer I can deal with my anxious mind and everything else going on.

Regards,

Rhianna

[missep123]

Hi Rhianna,

Although I haven't experienced similar I wanted to reply to your post to show that I am here for you and that I hear you. It sounds like you are going through a lot! When a lot of things compile at once for me, I tend to feel really stressed and as if it's out of my control.

With regards to your GP, have you also spoken to them about your anxiety? Have you thought about potentially seeing a mental health professional? The reason I ask is because sometimes although we have those who care about us, we might not feel as if we can tell them about our problems. It can really help to talk to someone who is non-judgemental and professional about it all.

I am really glad you reached out though Rhianna, you'll see that you're not alone in how you feel.

I'm here for you!

[Jesicca]

Hi Rhianna,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been struggling and have been going through some rough experiences at the moment.

I can understand and relate to your struggles with money as I have been dismissed from work due to the corona virus and have been unemployed for the last few months now. At first I was really hesitant to ask my loved ones for support, but as you mentioned, you have lots of people in your life who care about you. You are not weak for asking for support or help, you are actually really brave and courageous for doing so. Once I asked for some financial support from my parents for the time being until I get back on my feet I felt a bit of relief knowing that I can focus on finding some work instead of spending my whole day stressing about bills etc. Whenever I worry about being a burden to others I always ask myself "would I think my best friend or my family member is a burden if they were asking me for help?" and the answer is always no, because I would always want to help them and so I shouldn't doubt that they would want to help me. Even the tiniest bit of financial support can go a long way, you can just ask if they can help in any way that they can and you might be surprised with the helpful answer.

As for what has happened with your fiancé I am so sorry to hear this. I have never gone through something like this but I have experienced a break up before and something I found really helped me was leaning on my friends and spending a lot of time with them. This might help distract you in a positive way and you might find that you don't want to turn to alcohol and sleeping tablets. Maybe you could research some natural sleeping tips such as putting your phone away an hour or two before bed, reading a book in this time, some sleep specific yoga or meditation which can be found easily on youtube, some essential oils that promote sleep or even just some chamomile tea. I also find writing a gratitude journal before bed where I write 3 things I'm grateful for helps me feel happier before bed and settles my thoughts a bit. I know in tough times it seems like there is nothing to be grateful for but in these times I often make my gratitude journal really simple so for example I would say I am grateful for the oats I ate that morning as it is my favourite breakfast or I am grateful for my legs because they are capable of walking or I am grateful for having access to water that day.

I hope these tips give you something to think about.