Can I hurt others during panic attack

[Maq]

So, I had a couple of panic attacks this year. These are triggered and isolated to my interactions with my husband.

This close to Christmas, my GP is on leave and I don't want to see another GP. My counsellor can't see me until next week.

Last night I had another panic attack. But was able to control my symptoms and look after my toddler for three hours as my husband went to play soccer.

On his return, he expressed that he is worried about his and the toddler's safety and doesn't want to leave the child alone with me.

For me this is the biggest insult.

I wi follow-up with the medical professionals - can anyone here tell me if I can physically hurt my loved ones during or after a panic attack. Does it effect my ability to be a mother?

[Matchy69]

I have never hurt anyone physical having a panic attack.I have two children of my own and have never been in danger.I did lose a very close friend because of one of my panic attacks.She just didnt understand.I think your child is perfectly safe with you.I am sure you are a teriffic mother.

[MissBenthos]

Hi Maq,

What kind of response do you usually have during a panic attack? For myself I would never hurt anyone physically, I can sometimes have an overwhelming anger but I never go into a blind rage where I do regretful things.

[blondguy]

Hi Maq

No you cant (unless there are other psychological issues happening)

You mentioned above that your husband has concerns about your ability to care for your toddler. I used have awful anxiety attacks for a few years and anger isnt one of the symptoms...

Just my humble opinion if thats ok....I would ask your GP the same question as your thread topic Maq 🙂

Can I ask if you have a GP that you can talk to? You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by doing so..especially if you print out this thread excellent thread you have written and hand it to them

any questions are always welcome Maq

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Step_Twelve]

Dear Maq,
I almost feel insulted on your behalf! People's lack of understanding can be particularly hurtful when it demeans us (unintentionally or not). Perhaps you need give your husband a pamphlet or two about understanding and supporting someone with anxiety. There are some available on this website. They're simple to understand and there's really no excuse for ignorance about the condition once you've been provided with good quality information.

Regarding the safety of your toddler, think of it this way: Anxiety is essentially hyper-vigilance; it's your brain's protection mechanism going into overdrive. You become highly alert and sensitive to all possible threats around you (even ones that don't exist). During a panic attack, adrenaline is released - known as the superhuman hormone that makes us temporarily better, stronger, faster. All of your senses become heightened, you're primed and ready to respond to any threat or crisis. Does this hyper-vigilant state seem like it would be dangerous for anyone around you? No, you're probably the safest, most capable person in the room!

Sometimes, this hyper-vigilance manifests in thoughts of hurting someone or ourselves. I don't know if you're dealing with this, but many people do, and it's simply our brain telling us NOT to do the things we're thinking of (usually weird and random things that anxiety invents). As far as anxiety is concerned, there is absolutely no danger of acting on these thoughts in a way that would harm anyone.

I hope the frustration you're feeling doesn't stop you from having a wonderful Christmas break with your friends and family. Take care, and Merry Christmas!

[White_Rose]

Dear Maq

Hello and welcome to the forum. You have certainly stirred up a hornet's nest with your post and rightfully so. Well done.

Have a look at the information available on this site. Look under The Facts at the top of the page. There is some information about panic which you can download and show your husband. There is also a booklet written especially for family and friends about depression etc. You will need to ask beyondblue to send this to you. No charge.

Like all those who have already replied I have gone through panic attacks. It's definitely not nice but does not make you a threat to others. Far from it as Step Twelve has explained. May I suggest you settle this question with your husband as quickly as possible. I would hate to think he gives your child the idea that you are not a safe person to be around. And this can happen without necessarily any intention. In fact being with your toddler can be a distraction from the panic and help you recover more quickly.

Go to your GP or counsellor and talk about this. In fact it would be a good idea to take your husband to your next session with your GP and/or counsellor. This needs to be understood early before it becomes an issue or is so firmly stuck in your husband's head that he will not change his ideas.

Mary

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Maq,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out. I can see that you've already gotten some great replies already but I just wanted to add to it anyway.

When we have a panic attack, our mind enters a flight/fight response. There are so many things that can happen in our body and so many things we may feel; mostly fear - although I'm not sure what else you might have experienced personally. Sometimes, we can also experience really intense anger too. Everyone experiences a panic attack differently. But there is a significant difference between feeling intense anger and acting on intense anger.

I can tell by your post that you care very deeply about your loved ones. While I don't know you at all, I have no doubt in my mind that your toddler is completely safe with you.

While I'm not a mother myself, I know that being a mother with anxiety (or an anxiety disorder) can be overwhelming and probably have its moments, but again, it does not at all make you a bad mother.

I hope that this, as well as all of the other posts - gives you lots of reassurance. Feel free to reach out again if you like.

rt

[calmseeker]

Hi Maq and everyone,

Personally, I couldn't see how on earth you would be of any threat to your child during your panic episodes. For me, I am incapable of doing much at all during an episode, I am busy scrambling to ground myself and trying to tell myself I am not going crazy, and trying to breath deeply. I think your husbands 'suggestion' that you are of danger to your child has struck a chord with you whilst you are in such a vulnerable state. Years ago, my child's father, now my ex, told me during a panic episode that I couldn't handle life and I was becoming useless. Not what I needed to hear! The sentence really got stuck in my head and tortured me for quite some time until I unpacked his comment and realised he was talking about himself, not about me. Nonetheless, it was a cruel thing to say to someone who was not well at the time.

The fact that you are even concerned about your child's safety speaks volumes to the kind of mum you are. Without knowing you I would take a guess that you are a great mother.

Sending you best wishes and calm thoughts.

CS