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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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solsticedays I got scammed today
  • replies: 4

I got scammed by a very sophisticated scammer with impeccable graphic design and an ABN selling a contact list of retailers today. It was too good to be true, and I am lucky because I work with my mother, so we discussed how 'off' it felt when she wa... View more

I got scammed by a very sophisticated scammer with impeccable graphic design and an ABN selling a contact list of retailers today. It was too good to be true, and I am lucky because I work with my mother, so we discussed how 'off' it felt when she was pressuring us with weird out of business hours deadlines. But my mother said it was my call and in the end, my desire for the data was too strong and we paid by bank transfer (the first big thing I have learned today) - NEVER pay by bank transfer. I feel sick in the stomach, I feel anxious, and I really need to talk to a counsellor or someone, but it is late and there is no one available, so I am writing my story here, in the hope that the process will give me enough validation to get to sleep. I feel really bad. And this too shall pass. It was $280 - so not a huge amount of money. It just feels 'icky' because it is a violation, I guess. And being scammed doesn't feel so good. I pledge to be looking out for the warning signs in the future. Yuck!!

A sad boy When being addicted to one certain celebrity, my mental is getting more and more anxiety...
  • replies: 7

I have some special feelings these days even months. The thing is that I started to like one certain local news commentator(or in other words, news host) several months ago and after that I think that I really liked him so much that it even affects m... View more

I have some special feelings these days even months. The thing is that I started to like one certain local news commentator(or in other words, news host) several months ago and after that I think that I really liked him so much that it even affects my life now. I just think that he is good to focus on and what he said showed let me have a good impression and I also think that he worth focusing on. Sometimes I do not like his opinion but I still like him so much. However, with the time flies, I think that the thing is not so smooth, which is that this addiction just affected my life and it really troubled myself. This performs that everyday I just think of him and wait for his updates; and I really want to "make friends" with him, but I do not have chance now -- or in other words it is not very possible to do this thing, I am just be troubled because of such these things. I have thought it is not following a certain star, but now I think it is so. I have talked people about this experience around me to try to release this pressure however this is not so effective. Now I think that this anxiety is very terrible and I do not what what to do for this -- I really want to decrease focusing on him but I can not give up completely; I have tried to focus on other people, however I can not put my attention on other people but juts him -- because I usually focus on the person who I focus on first. I do not know if there is some methods can decrease such this pressure and let myself release, so I just want to ask for some advice. If necessary possible, I will post that person's social network page. Thank you for everyone's hearing and help.

Bruisersmum Alone
  • replies: 5

Not sure if I'm posting in the right spot. Never felt more alone than I do today. Lost my mum nearly 3 years ago, she was my best friend, she'd just be there to listen, I thought I had friends that were like that but after going through a long grievi... View more

Not sure if I'm posting in the right spot. Never felt more alone than I do today. Lost my mum nearly 3 years ago, she was my best friend, she'd just be there to listen, I thought I had friends that were like that but after going through a long grieving process, I'm still grieving, they disappeared, one turned their back so bad it made me suicidal, but I've noticed a peace in my life since she's been gone that made me see she was toxic not helpful, thought I'd found another friend who would be there no matter what but she just doesn't talk to me anymore. Vcommon denominator here is me, so I'm sitting here thinking I've done something wrong, everything is usually my fault, don't contact someone for two months and get blasted for it, even though I was sorting through mums stuff I was in the wrong. I am not good at writing down thoughts and feeling so I hope I make sense. I'm ready to just walk away from life but I have my dog to think about he keeps me going, he listens without judgement or questioning why I feel like I do. Which is why I'm here, I know I'm not the only one who is completely alone, no one to talk to I've considered ringing beyond blue just to talk to someone get these thoughts that are running around in my head out, but I always think that there is someone out there worse than me that needs them.

rhysiee Leaving Work at 50yo and moving states.
  • replies: 8

I've been a teacher with my school for 16 years. I have been the teacher librarian at the school and have had many traumatic experiences with bullying and intimidation from executive staff in the past 16 years. 5 years ago I was finally given my own ... View more

I've been a teacher with my school for 16 years. I have been the teacher librarian at the school and have had many traumatic experiences with bullying and intimidation from executive staff in the past 16 years. 5 years ago I was finally given my own autonomy with my curriculum. But this year my new supervisor decided to change this on me and my curriculum is no longer library based and instead a extension of literacy from class. I find it very difficult to teach it as it's out of my expertise and on top of that, I feel like my teaching identity has been stripped from me. Now I've decided to take long service leave from Week 5 in Term 2 and Leave Without Pay from Term 3 for 12 months. I'm going nuts with anxiety that I'm doing the wrong thing but at the same time I'm relieved that I'm not going to be around in a very toxic environment. I'm worried I won't cope with the change and that I will not find a suitable job. It's been a difficult process with the Qld Dept of Education which is where I'm off to, I have heaps of paper work to find and get cited by a JP or similar. I'm freaking out and if I do finally get my teaching approval in Qld, I still have to get past the ickiness of casual teaching. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this.

Doberman38 Nuclear fear
  • replies: 16

Hey everyone. I think I'm right in saying that the world is almost unanimously shocked and disturbed by the war in Ukraine. It's really sad to hear about the awful stuff going on. However, I fear it will escalate into something far, far worse. I'm te... View more

Hey everyone. I think I'm right in saying that the world is almost unanimously shocked and disturbed by the war in Ukraine. It's really sad to hear about the awful stuff going on. However, I fear it will escalate into something far, far worse. I'm terrified that if Putin decides to attack a NATO country it could trigger nuclear war. Conventional war would be bad enough, but NUCLEAR war? I used to think no one would dare but now I'm not so sure. I have all these scenarios playing in my head of how some sort of miscalculation could trigger a nuclear war. I feel like all the progress over human history and all the people and things I hold dear are about to be snuffed out by sheer hubris and stupidity. I try very hard to calm myself down, but each time I keep thinking that there's no point doing anything positive because the world's about to end. I've only just been starting to glimpse my future and potential career paths, but these now seem like dust in the wind. It's tough trying to talk about this to my family. My dad, who forcibly insists I not shut myself off from the news and isn't very good at emotional support, is not very helpful. As for my mum, she does give me reassurance and emotional support, but it's taking its toll on her and I don't want to add to the stress she is already dealing with. I just feel so lonely when it comes to this.

tatachoo I want to leave work but I'm anxious
  • replies: 5

I've been with this company for almost 4 years and had no problems with my job until roughly end of last year. I started off as casual working how many days I want and when. Then offered to do more hours due to busy Christmas period and working 5 day... View more

I've been with this company for almost 4 years and had no problems with my job until roughly end of last year. I started off as casual working how many days I want and when. Then offered to do more hours due to busy Christmas period and working 5 days a week. Ever since then I began struggling with finding work-life balance and having to take out my problems and frustration to my partner which was not good for our relationship. The problem is when I'm at work I'm the most bubbliest and happy person there - but of course that's a mask. Before the start of my shift I'm crying and frustrated not knowing why I'm crying and after I finish my shift, I come home mentally exhausted. I'm started to be unmotivated a lot before work and anxious when I talk to customers. My brain is filled with overthinking and it's draining me. The other day I was bawling my eyes out and mentally not prepared that morning but ended up showing to work with a fuzzy thought process and blurred thinking. I went up to my manager and told her about my problems and happily gave me the time off for the next two days. How can I tell my manager that I want to leave? I'm feeling burnt out and not progressing in life. I feel like I'm living the same day, day after day until the weekend. The workplace is amazing but I feel like I'm slowly loosing my sparkle and interest in this field. The one thing that also gets me is that I asked if I can take the day off tomorrow as I'm feeling so anxious and depressed. But manager replies with 'We're down one person because of COVID, if you can still work or even for a couple of hours' despite my situation. I wish I can. I wish my mental state can. I really wish to help but I know once I go in I'll feel even worse especially when talking to customers and have to mask everything. It feels so debilitating. I want to leave but this workplace has done so much for me and I'm anxious about it. I'm anxious about suddenly asking and also since my partner and I are in the middle of a home loan submission, I can't suddenly not work any more. I'm waiting for a psychiatrist appointment in September as I'm thinking I might have ADHD. I've also been prescribed antidepressants and my right leg was supposed to go under the needle for varicose veins but need to push that back.I feel overwhelmed and burnt out. I don't know what to do..

ThatKindCoder School and non-school related issues
  • replies: 2

I'm currently 17 y/o, partway through year 12, and so far it feels like a repeat of last year. Since I have an absurdly high academic goal to reach I've brought the bar down. Though the problems I've faced with studying, like procrastination, have co... View more

I'm currently 17 y/o, partway through year 12, and so far it feels like a repeat of last year. Since I have an absurdly high academic goal to reach I've brought the bar down. Though the problems I've faced with studying, like procrastination, have come up again, and I've felt guilty and ashamed for not improving. It's the consistent struggling that makes me believe that I'm incapable of ever doing well. This is coupled with my friends succeeding in their social and job lives at just year 10-11, making me feel envious and incompetent. Something else I struggle with is anexiety. In my previous schools I initially struggled to make friends, because of how weird I am. I am usually either far more energetic and spontaneous, or dull and tired, than those around me. So I've decided to cut myself out from people in my class. And since I rarely left home, I was socially isolated for a while. I would make some friends, and hang out with people during lunch from time to time, but by about year 7, I hadn't made any close friends. I travelled here in 2017, which is when I'd meet two great friends, though I'd only make a close friend by late year 11. I was getting more anxious around people, since I was used to staying at home. During year 11, I've isolated myself whenever possible, during class and lunch, by keeping my head down, or sitting in the lockers. I'd always say that I'm sleeping whenever someone checks on me, which I justified with my real poor sleep schedule. Near the end of year 11, I had trouble controlling my imagination. During arbitrary times, I'd imagine disgusting sexual or violent imagery, with the former being far more prominent. I used to keep my head down, often tearing up and feeling ashamed of myself, while trying to stop them from appearing. I found that pain helps stop this, though I understand that it's a terrible way to manage it. Though this is a symptom of OCD, which I have not verified, I'm concerned that I might enjoy the former. I'm sure that I don't, but if I were to tell anyone, I'm sure that they'd say that I'm just perverted, so I'm being impartial. I've also felt suffocatingly lonely, balling up in bed to cope with the feeling. I am trying to socialise more often, though the interactions are feeling hollow, since I can't tell whether people enjoy my company, or just put up with me to not make a scene. I've felt this way since year 11, and still have no way of discerning between both cases.

Needleina Just need an ear
  • replies: 4

I finally decided to seek professional health for my anxieties . Waited near 3 mths for first appointment. I clicked with the psychologist. I could open up. Delving into my life I saw a pattern of always feeling second in importance to everyone, even... View more

I finally decided to seek professional health for my anxieties . Waited near 3 mths for first appointment. I clicked with the psychologist. I could open up. Delving into my life I saw a pattern of always feeling second in importance to everyone, even my spouse did it to me (everyone except my dad). I know it’s my reaction to events and I’m the only one responsible for how I feel. Anyway, I had 3 appts with the psychologist and on the third appt when paying the bill the receptionist said I had no more appointments booked. I showed her a copy of the appointments they had made for me (every 3 weeks for 4 more appointments) . She read the times, wrote them down and said she would fix it up. For my next appointment my psychologist had to cancel. They called to tell me. I was fine with that. We all have things happen. I felt a bit stressed as I wouldn’t see her for now 6 weeks between appointments . Again the receptionist said I had no more appointments left now ( after this upcoming) cancelled one and would she like me to make more. I told her I had 2 more appointment times now. I felt my anxiety rise. She asked me to email the list to her which I did. I got a return email. It said the next appointment being made for 20th May!!! That will be 12 weeks between appointments as my 29/4 and 13/5 had been now allocated to other patients ( and 8/4 cancelled). While they apologised for their mix up ( and nothing can be done ) it’s been an extra hard time for me churning issues in my mind. Trying to work through things. I had taken some bold steps with discussing my issue with my husband, prior to the cancelled appointment. I know that cancellation couldn’t be helped. At that time I thought I could discuss with her at the 8th April how the discussion went with my husband Then I settled to accepting it would be 3 more weeks til I could discuss this with her. Now it’s turned into 12 weeks between appointments. 20/5 is the next available as all my others have since been allocated to other patients. My only hope is one of these cancel. It’s extra hard because my issue is about feeling second place to everyone- and now others have been put ahead of me. It’s like even my psychologist is doing it. Makes me feel a bit like it’s not my reaction but it’s something that really happens to me. Probably not a big issue in terms of the lives of others, but I just need someone to listen. Thanks for reading.

AnxiousSara Medical anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I suffer from extreme medical anxiety in large part at least due to 2 significant medical issues I’ve had in my past where I was only diagnosed and treated thanks to advocating strongly for myself. Both the issues were resolved through major ... View more

Hi all, I suffer from extreme medical anxiety in large part at least due to 2 significant medical issues I’ve had in my past where I was only diagnosed and treated thanks to advocating strongly for myself. Both the issues were resolved through major surgery, the last being about 10 mths ago. My trust in doctors is now low as a result and my belief that all symptoms point to something terrible is high. I am seeing a therapist as I can’t function falling in a heap at every symptom. As of a few weeks ago, I developed a tremor, mostly an intentional one (when moving) but I also have a general buzzing throughout my body. I’ve had a brain mri (clear) and I’m seeing a neurologist who doesn’t think there is anything terribly dire causing it. This is of course little comfort to me. I’m finding that I’m struggling distinguishing now between tremor that is normal for everyone and tremor that isn’t. I know that the shaking I get currently when I reach for a cup of coffee for instance is not normal and needs to be investigated further. However for example, my eyelids shake rapidly if I squeeze my eyes shut tight. Does this happen to others or is this part of whatever my current issue is? My teeth also mildly chatter when I place top and bottom together in a somewhat unnatural way. Would this be part of what I’ve got going on or would I have had this even before? Anyone else have this? Thank you for reading. I’m so tired of this stress and uncertainty.

Snowflake36389 Hating school and wanting to drop out
  • replies: 2

I’m really hating school at the moment. My anxiety has been so bad at the moment. I’ve just gotton lots of marks back from last term and I only passed by a few marks for every assignment and test. I feel so dumb and stupid. I just hate school so so m... View more

I’m really hating school at the moment. My anxiety has been so bad at the moment. I’ve just gotton lots of marks back from last term and I only passed by a few marks for every assignment and test. I feel so dumb and stupid. I just hate school so so much. I can’t deal with the assignments and stress and it’s becoming too much. I really want to go to uni though and the course that I want to go to doesn’t really have and VET or TAFE courses that could be used as an entry way. So I’m just stuck at school doing subjects that I’m liking less and less the more I do. It’s becoming so unbearable. I just don’t see the point of going to school if I’m hating it stressing about it and then not even getting anh good marks. I’ve spoken to my parents my therapist school counsellor teachers and nothing has worked. I just don’t see the point I’m absolutely miserable. Im struggling and hate that I’ve gotten to this point where I’m back to being depressed all over again.