Awful dream has sent me into an anxiety spiral

[Cerise547]

If you have the time PLEASE reply to this with some help, I'm feeling really awful about this.

So last night I had a bad dream, centred around some of my main anxieties/OCD obsessions. I don't want to go into detail about them, but one of the main ways that I have to combat them is to reaffirm to myself that they are not a reflection of me. In the past, I've only had to deal with thoughts of these obsessions, like while I'm awake. But last night I had a very vivid dream that played into these OCD obsessions and images, and in the dream I was the opposite of how I try to reaffirm myself as in real life. So pretty much I was painted as the "bad guy" i suppose, and all those things that I'm scared really were a reflection of me (in the dream). When I woke up I was reeeeally anxious. I felt like since these images had crossed into my dreams, does that mean that they're true? That they ARE a reflection of me? It's weird because in the dream, i was fine with it but in real life I am not. It sent me wayyy backwards and I've been anxious and crying all day. I can't talk to my family about it because the dream involved them and I do not want to talk to them about it.

I feel like all of my hard work convincing myself that these anxieties aren't ME has gone out the window. I've heard lots of things about how dreams are a refelction of your subconscious and they "mean something". I'm way too scared to look into what this dream would mean. I feel like a disgusting monster honestly. These images are really distressing and i feel like I can't face my family. I was finally getting into an okay place with this obsessions and now I feel like I've gone back to square one.

I've worked with my psych through the anxious thoughts: we've gone through how thoughts kind of mean nothing and you can't control them anyway, but we've never talked about dreams because they've never been an issue before. I honestly have no idea whether they MEAN something or not and I'm too scared to research whether or not they do.

I've been scared like "what if deep down this whole time I have felt these things and agreed with them (the obsessions/images/worries)". I don't know whether I dreamt about this simply because it's been in my subconscious a lot because I worry about it a lot, or whether it's a reflection of me, who I am, how I feel deep down. I'm terrified and I don;t know whether I'm a monster or not. I don;t know what this all means. I feel so awful. Please please please help me!

Cerise

[Croix]

Dear Cerise5477~

I'd like to set you mind at rest straight way, the fact that you have dreams about highly unpleasant matters in no way means they are part of you. In fact I'd be tempted to say the dreams are simply there because you are deeply worried about the intrusive thoughts you have during the day -which also have nothing to do with your basic nature or the sort of person you are.

I am not a doctor and so the best I can do is point you towards a real doctor and for you to read what she had to say about intrusive thoughts:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/got-a-question-related-to-mental-health-ask-dr-kim/page/17

(Copy and paste the whole link above into your browser) The article is ⅔ rds down the page and dated 19 April.

While Dr Kim does not specifically address dreams I think you will be able to see it is just another manifestation of your condition, and while unpleasant and upsetting is NOT you.

I'd suggest when you next see your therapist you bring the matter up, just so you will feel better.

OK?

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Cerise547

I understand exactly what you mean with our dreams..especially if our recollection is as precise as ours are

I echo Croix's post above where intrusive thoughts are concerned...He is accurate on this matter. In our dreams we dont have the benefit of using our accumulated anti anxiety skills...yet our dreams can reflect a tired or anxious mind. I used to have chronic anxiety followed by low level anxiety for approx 37 years and my worst dreams occurred during times of ongoing frequent anxiety combined with complex personal and job issues

Just sharing with you....I used to have shocking nightmares which were never a reflection of myself Cerise...They were only dreams that were manifested by my own set of circumstances at the time combined with a 'tired' mind. These dreams are very common to experience when we have anxiety as a condition

These 'intrusive' dreams will reduce during the healing process. They are only thoughts..that dont represent you in any way whatsoever

any questions are always welcome Cerise....and thankyou for helping out on the forums tonight too 🙂

please be gentle with yourself

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Cerise547]

Hi Croix,

Thank you very much for your reply. Intrusive dreams were quite a foreign concept for me and I really appreciate hearing support from someone. 🙂 As you could probably tell I was quite distressed.

I have heard that dreams are based a lot off of your subconscious mind and what you think about a lot while you're awake. That would make sense since these worries occupy my mind a lot during the day.

I took a look at the article you linked and it was good to hear that from a doctor, that these thoughts don't reflect me and who I am as a person.

Again thank you very much for your reply, I really really appreciate it. I will for sure bring this up with my psych next time I have an appointment, I'm sure they will be able to provide some insight too.

Many thanks,

Cerise

[Cerise547]

Hi Paul,

Thank you very much for your reply, I really appreciate it 🙂

I am so sad to hear that you had to go through that for so long, but it is somewhat comforting to know that I'm not alone in this.

It does help to recognise dreams as another form of intrusive thoughts, which I am a lot more familiar with. The fact that dreams reflect a tired and anxious mind was new to me - that could show that I need to really reinforce some of my anxiety strategies while I'm awake, and maybe take care of myself a bit better to let myself rest, right?

I guess dreams are just another obstacle to get over during recovery.

Thank you so much again for your reply, both yours and Croix's advice have really helped. I really do appreciate it 🙂 Thank you both for your kind words

Cerise